VN Ren'Py The Libido Enigma [Ch. 2.0] [broiler_x]

[Berserk55]

THX

 

[Daraich]

So far (end Chapter 2) promising

 

[Vortex@]

Looks like 99% agree on the same issues

1) Brooke needs to be a normal high end escort, without being paid for sex. Does she actually need to have sex for the plot? If absolutely necessary, can we remove the talking about other clients? The prostitution is bad enough, we don't need to hear of the other guys she was with.

2) All instances of our Li's talking about other men need removed (Isabella Brooke), and quit adding it. We know they have a past, but we don't want to hear it. It's just extremely HOT hearing what our Li did with other guys (sarcasm).

 

[SamualHand]

Looks like 99% agree on the same issues

1) Brooke needs to be a normal high end escort, without being paid for sex. Does she actually need to have sex for the plot? If absolutely necessary, can we remove the talking about other clients? The prostitution is bad enough, we don't need to hear of the other guys she was with.

2) All instances of our Li's talking about other men need removed (Isabella Brooke), and quit adding it. We know they have a past, but we don't want to hear it. It's just extremely HOT hearing what our Li did with other guys (sarcasm).

I don't know why all this is required, I don't mind all of that. Things happened in the past and the MC is aware his ex had lovers, so what is the issue. She is not showing him dick pics...

 

[Vortex@]

I don't know why all this is required, I don't mind all of that. Things happened in the past and the MC is aware his ex had lovers, so what is the issue. She is not showing him dick pics...

A lot of people hate hearing the Li talk about other guys. YES, WE KNOW they have a past, but we don't want to hear about it. Do you love being with a woman, and she talks about escapades with other guys while with you? Normal guys don't

 

[Raziel_8]

it's depends, with prostitue is always about sex, with escort i assume a lot of lonely people just want to spend a good time, talking about different things etc, in that case is not all about sex

Well yeah, some escorts don't fuck their clients and are just eye candy or whatever else is wanted.

But in this case it's pretty clearly stated that she is just a high class/expensive prostitute, which provides some extra services and that the clients she usually fucks are rich 50-60s old guys and lack the stammina the MC has (or so she says)...

 

[Beast Within]

A lot of people hate hearing the Li talk about other guys.

I will make a wild claim here and say that a lot of people -men and women- dont want to hear about their partner past exploits, period.

about the game, personaly I see no appeal to give this a shot. since the whor *cough* lis are essential to the plot from what I gathered. and I dont like simps and white knights.

I will move on. best of luck to the dev.

 

[broiler_x]

Ok, Brooke's escort job will be important to the story.
But the MC already figured out her secret, he has the online side with her infos, the point is, why are we forced to pay her 5k and fuck her ? I mean, we could just have confronted her next day at work or after work...

Also while i have no interest to punish her for being an escort (i mean, why ? They were just coworkers which barely spoke with each other), dismissing for her being an escort is nice, well if you would do it before fucking her... but doing that and punishing her for being an escort after the MC used her service is well...hypocritical to the extreme at best.

Beside that i find it a bit strange, the MC figured out his co worker is a prostitute, and his first idea, without a shred of doubt is to pay 5k and fuck her ?
I mean, this guy was going on about how a sexual relationship with his boss, with which it is already known they had a relationship prior, could lead to problems at work and with HR.

Beside that, i don't really care for virgin or not, even less if we talk about characters which are 30y+.
That being said, sluts, town bikes, sex workers are just not my thing.
Isabella i just found desperate, neither did i like her to be honest. As she got on about how the fuckboys she had on the call list all got in relationships, i just had to laught. I mean, that doesn't want me to take over their job, i'm sure she finds others which are willing...well so far i find Emily is the only interesting LI, that sex crazed experimentee i liked more than either Isabella or Brooke to be honest.

You bring up some very well thought out points and present them well, I really appreciate that. I had to actually google "town bike" as it's come up twice now. I guessed what it meant, and confirmed my suspicions. In my mind, Isabella's behavior fits her personality. She's bold and brash and she goes for what she wants. She is actually loosely based off of a real female biotech CEO that I know. But I understand how she can be off-putting with her casual attitude towards sexual relationships. Heck before I was married I've had booty call and I've been booty call, and I have only fond memories of it personally myself. What I was trying to hint at was that she is now maybe ending that phase of her life (finally!).

Emily's actions also fit her personality, and like you, I really like her a lot. She was not featured much in Chapter Two as I focused more on learning about the two mystery women from Chapter One (Giselle and Brooke). But as the ending hints at, Emily will have a bigger role in Chapter 3 (and beyond).

And Brenda, the sex-crazed text subject? I fucking love her too! I had so much fun with that entire sex clinic scene. I actually completely scrapped the script that I wrote for that whole scene and improvised it real time. Originally it was supposed to be a serious and somber realization that something is truly amiss. Instead I decided to make it fun and lighthearted, and that included Brenda's behavior and dialogue. And also the music and the two technicians that argue like an old married couple. But when you see Brenda looking all scared in that dark corner, but then suddenly pop out into the light and demands some action... That was so fun! Also her responses to your decision were a blast too.

Anyway, long-winded response. But I do like the feedback, and I agree some of the plot lines were a little too forced and unrealistic. I will keep that in mind as I continue to create this VN. As a life long scientist, I appreciate the data, and "bad" data is just as important as "good" data. I will keep your thoughts and others in mind as I write future chapters.

Thanks!

 

[broiler_x]

Just got caught up with the Dev.

Spoiler

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Really been enjoying this game thus far. Thank you so very much for it!!!

Thank you so much for your kind words! I just finished rendering the scene in Chapter 3 which continues the scene from the end of Chapter 2, and there is definitely a nod to Isabella's acting scene as Emily! I won't say any more than that.

 

[BTLD]

so... Lis as whores/sluts/townbikes etc ... and it has a romance tag?

 

[broiler_x]

Looks like 99% agree on the same issues

1) Brooke needs to be a normal high end escort, without being paid for sex. Does she actually need to have sex for the plot? If absolutely necessary, can we remove the talking about other clients? The prostitution is bad enough, we don't need to hear of the other guys she was with.

2) All instances of our Li's talking about other men need removed (Isabella Brooke), and quit adding it. We know they have a past, but we don't want to hear it. It's just extremely HOT hearing what our Li did with other guys (sarcasm).

The full script for Chapter 3 is finished (and is now being rendered) and I have rough outlines for Chapters 4 & 5 and there is no talk of previous relationships at all in Chapter 3, and almost certainly that won't be brought up in 4 & 5. I hope that helps.

Thanks for the feedback!

 

[Beast Within]

The full script for Chapter 3 is finished (and is now being rendered) and I have rough outlines for Chapters 4 & 5 and there is no talk of previous relationships at all in Chapter 3, and almost certainly that won't be brought up in 4 & 5. I hope that helps.

with all due respect for your hard work, and I mean it because I was in the same boat and I am currently trying to get back on, to get to those chapters (3, 4, 5) players will go through 1 and 2 in which they will get their fill of questionable information (that nobody cares about) and the impression the players have for the characters, will stick with them. so no, it wont help. I have yet to see a game where a cheater, a town bike and a prostitute where liked later in the game no matter how hard devs tried to make them likeable. quite the opposite infact. people's prefferences I suppose.

a game in progress, has a unique oportunity to evolve with feedback. you said it yourself:

"bad" data is just as important as "good" data.

I will go as far as saying that "bad" data is far more usefull than "good" data. at least thats how I see it, since more often than not, especially in sites like this, "bad" data is more honest.

I wont take more of your time

Best of luck and best of health.

 

[broiler_x]

so... Lis as whores/sluts/townbikes etc ... and it has a romance tag?

Actually, I do think this is quite a romantic story, to be honest. At least that was my goal. My wife has been extensively involved as a creative consultant and she has helped me all along the way as I really wanted female input. I was hoping to make this appealing to women as well. She's not had any issues that some of you have had. She actually initially had the idea of adding Brooke which I pushed back at first (and she wasn't even an escort at that stage, my wife just thought I needed one more LI). I'm the one who decided to make her an escort because I was able to figure out a way to use that to find a great solution to an issue that I was having in the plot. This becomes clear in Chapter 3.

Anyway, I have tried to make this romantic and I've added a lot of tender moments and times of reflection. This is not a game where you try to fuck your sisters or see how many holes you can get your cock into at all (btw, I have no problem with those types of VN's, and enjoy them when in the mood, so I am not saying that disparagingly). I just wanted to go a different route and make mine a little more story driven and romantic. I didn't add the tags btw, I guess they were assigned both the original uploader? I don't know how this stuff works.

 

[Vortex@]

Actually, I do think this is quite a romantic story, to be honest. At least that was my goal. My wife has been extensively involved as a creative consultant and she has helped me all along the way as I really wanted female input. I was hoping to make this appealing to women as well. She's not had any issues that some of you have had. She actually initially had the idea of adding Brooke which I pushed back at first (and she wasn't even an escort at that stage, my wife just thought I needed one more LI). I'm the one who decided to make her an escort because I was able to figure out a way to use that to find a great solution to an issue that I was having in the plot. This becomes clear in Chapter 3.

Anyway, I have tried to make this romantic and I've added a lot of tender moments and times of reflection. This is not a game where you try to fuck your sisters or see how many holes you can get your cock into at all (btw, I have no problem with those types of VN's, and enjoy them when in the mood, so I am not saying that disparagingly). I just wanted to go a different route and make mine a little more story driven and romantic. I didn't add the tags btw, I guess they were assigned both the original uploader? I don't know how this stuff works.

The main issue with her being an escort is being a town bike. She can be an escort without having sex. That, and talking about other guys just kills it. No matter if you give her redemption or not

 

[broiler_x]

with all due respect for your hard work, and I mean it because I was in the same boat and I am currently trying to get back on, to get to those chapters (3, 4, 5) players will go through 1 and 2 in which they will get their fill of questionable information (that nobody cares about) and the impression the players have for the characters, will stick with them. so no, it wont help. I have yet to see a game where a cheater, a town bike and a prostitute where liked later in the game no matter how hard devs tried to make them likeable. quite the opposite infact. people's prefferences I suppose.

a game in progress, has a unique oportunity to evolve with feedback. you said it yourself:



I will go as far as saying that "bad" data is far more usefull than "good" data. at least thats how I see it, since more often than not, especially in sites like this, "bad" data is more honest.

I wont take more of your time

Best of luck and best of health.

Thanks again for the feedback, I do really appreciate it. And yes, in science, "bad" data (or data that doesn't support your hypothesis) is sometimes orders of magnitude more important than "good" data, as it prevents you from wasting time and resources moving forward with a bad idea. As for your suggestion of re-writing chapters 1 & 2, I'm definitely going to consider some of the input. If I just remove Isabella's mention of "booty call", that has zero negative effect on the plot and it sounds like it will make her more appealing to many people. So that's a easy one, and I think I will do that with the release of Chapter 3. Brooke is much tougher though, as I use the fact of her being an escort to explain a huge part of the main plot (regarding the experimental drug). There is a reason she is in Regulatory Affairs... Originally she was actually Beth in Marketing and she wasn't a secret escort. But I could soften the issues people have a bit simply by not having her mention her clients at all...? That's an easy change that doesn't effect the plot. I know that won't be enough for some, but maybe making those couple of tweaks will make this story more palatable for those who have legitimate issues?

 

[MixQQ]

Brooke is much tougher though, as I use the fact of her being an escort to explain a huge part of the main plot (regarding the experimental drug). There is a reason she is in Regulatory Affairs... Originally she was actually Beth in Marketing and she wasn't a secret escort. But I could soften the issues people have a bit simply by not having her mention her clients at all...? That's an easy change that doesn't effect the plot. I know that won't be enough for some, but maybe making those couple of tweaks will make this story more palatable for those who have legitimate issues?

you could always make her a lesbian escort and maybe mc can join the fun with her na her clients in the future

 

[broiler_x]

Thanks again for the feedback, I do really appreciate it. And yes, in science, "bad" data (or data that doesn't support your hypothesis) is sometimes orders of magnitude more important than "good" data, as it prevents you from wasting time and resources moving forward with a bad idea. As for your suggestion of re-writing chapters 1 & 2, I'm definitely going to consider some of the input. If I just remove Isabella's mention of "booty call", that has zero negative effect on the plot and it sounds like it will make her more appealing to many people. So that's a easy one, and I think I will do that with the release of Chapter 3. Brooke is much tougher though, as I use the fact of her being an escort to explain a huge part of the main plot (regarding the experimental drug). There is a reason she is in Regulatory Affairs... Originally she was actually Beth in Marketing and she wasn't a secret escort. But I could soften the issues people have a bit simply by not having her mention her clients at all...? That's an easy change that doesn't effect the plot. I know that won't be enough for some, but maybe making those couple of tweaks will make this story more palatable for those who have legitimate issues?

After giving this some further thought, I could make further changes to Brooke that wouldn't change my overall plot. I could go with the suggestion of others and make her an "escort" in the true sense of the word in that she is an eye candy date but not sexual. I would still need to get a way for them to have the sex scene (or at least the possibility of it), mostly because I just think that scene turned out so nice and I would hate for it not to exist. That might be a little tricky. Let me think about it.

 

[broiler_x]

you could always make her a lesbian escort and maybe mc can join the fun with her na her clients in the future

That's funny, because I was thinking about making her be an "escort" for gay guys who need to appear straight for whatever reasons.

 

[broiler_x]

So upon further reflection, instead of waiting for Chapter 3 to make some small yet important changes, I will probably release a new version of Chapter's 1 & 2 in the near future. Stay tuned and I hope I can make some of these LI's more appealing to some of you without drastically altering the plot.

Thanks all for sharing in such a thoughtful and respectful manner!

 

[Vortex@]

That's funny, because I was thinking about making her be an "escort" for gay guys who need to appear straight for whatever reasons.

Sounds good , she is just a no sex date for a cover up