VN Ren'Py Onhold Lost Memories: The Incubus Awakens [Prologue] [Pi3D]

[AVA writer]

Nice renders, could be a nice game but it's rushed, weird story/scenes decisions, forced "Li's", forced sex scenes, unavoidable voyeurism with orc, dunno if any of the girls that are putting out for the orc are LI so careful with that, another using NTR threat plot because any other threat than NTR is hard to think off, more to come by the reply's it seems more forced sex scenes of others and unavoidable lesbian.
Not for me but GL with the project

Thanks, just fyi: at this stage we're working on a quick "adjust preferences" thingy at the start of the game so you can filter out the stuff you don't care for.

 

[AVA writer]

One question. Will those characters that are shown fucking others, for example the succubus be forced on to the MC aswell?

Do you mean 'forced on him' as in 'will the MC be raped' or do you just mean unskippable content? I don't think the MC will be raped, though he might end up in some scary situations and facing some scary ladies. I think in most cases (like maybe 8/10) as long as it is M/F the content will be unskippable/unavoidable. This is because he's an Incubus, and gets stronger the more he fucks, so him fucking/conquering certain characters is an important element of the plot, whereas lesbian content wouldn't affect plot since it doesn't involve him, so we can make those parts skippable if we wish. But i have no desire to make this one of those games where, if you wanted to, you could play through the whole thing without fucking one girl, that shit's lame! (and would make no logical sense given the plot).

 

[tehmasta]

Do you mean 'forced on him' as in 'will the MC be raped' or do you just mean unskippable content? I don't think the MC will be raped, though he might end up in some scary situations and facing some scary ladies. I think in most cases (like maybe 8/10) as long as it is M/F the content will be unskippable/unavoidable. This is because he's an Incubus, and gets stronger the more he fucks, so him fucking/conquering certain characters is an important element of the plot, whereas lesbian content wouldn't affect plot since it doesn't involve him, so we can make those parts skippable if we wish. But i have no desire to make this one of those games where, if you wanted to, you could play through the whole thing without fucking one girl, that shit's lame! (and would make no logical sense given the plot).

No no, i was asking if we (as in the mc/player) would be forced to fuck those characters (the ones shown to be fucking others) also, be it for plot or whatever reason, or are they part of the story without getting together with mc?

 

[AVA writer]

No no, i was asking if we (as in the mc/player) would be forced to fuck those characters (the ones shown to be fucking others) also, be it for plot or whatever reason, or are they part of the story without getting together with mc?

An Incubus fucks young virgin pussy and experienced whore pussy alike, he does not discriminate!

 

[tehmasta]

An Incubus fucks young virgin pussy and experienced whore pussy alike, he does not discriminate!

Yeah, thats what i wanted to know.
Thanks and good luck.

 

[Soichy]

You have gone to the Cinema Sins school of criticism, where most of the "problems" you have with a plot are really just... ordinary questions. Questions you're kind of supposed to ask, and questions the story has already answered. I'll answer some of these for you myself, because I appreciate the high effort posting you have engaged in, and I appreciate that you've played and thought about my game so much! Thank you again for playing. (I think these answers are mostly self-evident, though)

The reason Freja is patrolling the coasts alone is because the Knights are spread thin, because their kingdom is being attacked from all sides, by Raiders, Ghouls and Orcs. Jarl Iris mentions this when they reach the castle. Also, Freja is a really really good fighter, and the game does not exist in a gritty realistic universe, it exists in the type of universe where a protagonist can kill like 50 people if they're cool enough. That's just the tone of the game. Not everything has to be realistic.

There are two reasons Freja takes MC in. 1. because the Knights, as I've said, are spread thin. They need more men to defend Gothenburg, and as she explains, she'd rather it if a muscular peasant joined the Knights than the Raiders. 2. because of her faith. There is a prophecy that foretells his arrival, which Freja strongly believes in. She mentions it to him at the end of the prologue before he goes to sleep, when he asks "Why me?" She says "People will say I am mad because of my faith..." This will be explained much, much further, in a future update, but the hint is clearly already there. She takes a personal interest in him because she wants him there to protect her family. Because of what she suspects he is...

When she takes him into her hut, she's not afraid of MC killing her, at first because she believes he probably wouldn't be able to, even if he TRIED, she's just that good at fighting. Even if he WAS a legitimate threat, Freja fears nothing, she's stubborn that way. This is another intentional aspect of her personality. People don't always act rationally, especially when they're a stubborn grimdark warrior with a decade of trauma.

She took her armor off because she was about to fuck him, because Freja has low self-esteem and treats men like meat, this is an aspect of her character relating to her trauma (her scars). She doesn't put spare clothes on because the village is burning/detroyed and she has no time to rifle through ruins for her armor, she needs to immediately warn Gothenburg of the attack. Also it's sexy!!! Yes she says "Careful with my armor, it was forged by..." but this is less about her genuinely caring about her armor, and more her trying to establish that she is noble, because she wants MC to respect her. It's also a way of reminding him of his place in relation to her...

Yes, it IS odd that MC couldn't help but stop to face-fuck the random Raider girl when he should have been helping Freja. It's almost like he's a lust demon or ... Incubus ... or something.

Your comment about the tsundere daughter made me laugh. The reason Trella bitchily criticises Freja is because Freja is respected as a "noble" Knight--but Trella knows the REAL reason her sister fights. And it's not for any noble, heroic reasons... it's to satiate her own bloodlust (read: trauma, read also: scars). Trella wanted Freja to overcome her trauma, but Freja instead let it define and consume her.

Other questions I can't answer without spoiling shit.

Thank you for your questions. I hope you liked my answers. And really, thank you for playing the game and engaging with the story, I hope you will like the update. Peace.

Ok, not everything is realistic, I'll take note. In my understanding, the gloomy Middle Ages with dirt and blood should still be closer to realism, otherwise it's fantasy, but your game - your rules. That alone could explain a lot, but I'm still going to be tedious.
1) the guy is dangerous. Nothing is known about him, he does not tell who he is, he has fighting skills and he is not afraid to kill. The first thing anyone would suggest is that he is a spy from the raiders or from someone else. The bald guy from the village would have been better suited for the role of defender. He has something to lose, but why would the first guy she meets risk his life for anyone?
2) I finished playing the prologue and also saw about this prophecy. But if the prophecy "the sea will throw a man with amnesia ashore," then there can be several dozen such "saviors" a year. She doesn't pick everyone up and take them to her house, does she?
3) no one is good in combat when he stands unarmed with his back to the enemy. An awl to the side can kill even the best warrior. And she still doesn't know anything about the main character. With her scars, taking the threat so lightly? "especially when they're a stubborn grimdark warrior with a decade of trauma" speaks for itself. It is a shame to die not in battle, but from a dirty nail in the back of the head.
4) I realized that this is sexy, I realized that for this the whole scene was and I even appreciated it all. But that doesn't change the humor of the situation. And the comment is still weird. I would understand if she said "don't touch with your dirty hands" or "don't get it dirty, this armor is worth more than your life", but "Careful with my armor, it was forged by...". What will he do? Break it?
5) or he had an extra 5 minutes while everyone around was baiting jokes and waiting for him to finish. Then again, he could do this after the fight, while Freya was interrogating one of the raiders around the corner, but definitely not in the middle of a fight.
6) I say what I see. In my opinion, this is still a typical tsundere older sister. lol
Although even she looks more logical than the lustful younger sister, who almost openly declares in front of the whole family that she wants to fuck the guest. The face of the "harsh" father certainly pleases. After the phrases of the younger sister, he is always like this:
- "what the fuck"
- "yeah what the fuck"
- "fuck all this, you can all get laid, and I went fishing"

Not that the plot was uninteresting or stupid, but its presentation is too hasty and superficial. I know that all people are different, but these particular characters do not seem alive to me. They are like students who play the role of extras for coffee and a bun.

Once again, I like renderings. And I will say that in my opinion the plot is not bad, the only question is its presentation. I wish you good luck with the game.

 

[I-Love-Adventure]

nice game thank you

 

[AVA writer]

Ok, not everything is realistic, I'll take note. In my understanding, the gloomy Middle Ages with dirt and blood should still be closer to realism, otherwise it's fantasy, but your game - your rules. That alone could explain a lot, but I'm still going to be tedious.
1) the guy is dangerous. Nothing is known about him, he does not tell who he is, he has fighting skills and he is not afraid to kill. The first thing anyone would suggest is that he is a spy from the raiders or from someone else. The bald guy from the village would have been better suited for the role of defender. He has something to lose, but why would the first guy she meets risk his life for anyone?
2) I finished playing the prologue and also saw about this prophecy. But if the prophecy "the sea will throw a man with amnesia ashore," then there can be several dozen such "saviors" a year. She doesn't pick everyone up and take them to her house, does she?
3) no one is good in combat when he stands unarmed with his back to the enemy. An awl to the side can kill even the best warrior. And she still doesn't know anything about the main character. With her scars, taking the threat so lightly? "especially when they're a stubborn grimdark warrior with a decade of trauma" speaks for itself. It is a shame to die not in battle, but from a dirty nail in the back of the head.
4) I realized that this is sexy, I realized that for this the whole scene was and I even appreciated it all. But that doesn't change the humor of the situation. And the comment is still weird. I would understand if she said "don't touch with your dirty hands" or "don't get it dirty, this armor is worth more than your life", but "Careful with my armor, it was forged by...". What will he do? Break it?
5) or he had an extra 5 minutes while everyone around was baiting jokes and waiting for him to finish. Then again, he could do this after the fight, while Freya was interrogating one of the raiders around the corner, but definitely not in the middle of a fight.
6) I say what I see. In my opinion, this is still a typical tsundere older sister. lol
Although even she looks more logical than the lustful younger sister, who almost openly declares in front of the whole family that she wants to fuck the guest. The face of the "harsh" father certainly pleases. After the phrases of the younger sister, he is always like this:
- "what the fuck"
- "yeah what the fuck"
- "fuck all this, you can all get laid, and I went fishing"

Not that the plot was uninteresting or stupid, but its presentation is too hasty and superficial. I know that all people are different, but these particular characters do not seem alive to me. They are like students who play the role of extras for coffee and a bun.

Once again, I like renderings. And I will say that in my opinion the plot is not bad, the only question is its presentation. I wish you good luck with the game.

HOLY WALL OF TEXT, BATMAN, somehow you have even more questions than last time!

 

[Look-see]

just to be clear...so apparently we get no choice in who MC bangs?

so the succubus banging the orc is gonna be forced on MC as well and we can't choose to ignore her?

and even then the scenes are gonna be skippable at best. not avoidable? but when it comes to MC almost everything is gonna be unavoidable?

Goryah seemed like an interesting character appearance wise. first time i see an elf-orc character in any VN....but apparently she's fucking her dad so she's useless...Oh wait! it doesn't matter cause apparently MC is gonna be forced to bang her if she ends up meeting him cause apparently we get no choice in the matter.

i mean the game seemed interesting but with so little choice on what we can make MC do...seems boring. might as well be a kinetic novel. and at the moment it sort of is. sure you have two choices but they honestly dont change anything and seem mostly like place holders.

 

[| Vee |]

When you both love each other And understand each other's needs:

GOLDLUCK DEV

 

[Silentdeath8]

Don't know if it was bring-up here before but why is the girl looking at us "Players" instead of at the MC ?

 

[anon280]

View attachment 2801821
Don't know if it was bring-up here before but why is the girl looking at us "Players" instead of at the MC ?

she's clearly just looking at nothing which we do often when talking to someone

 

[anon280]

HOLY WALL OF TEXT, BATMAN, somehow you have even more questions than last time!

tb fair those are mostly rhetorical quesitons lol

 

[Soichy]

HOLY WALL OF TEXT, BATMAN, somehow you have even more questions than last time!

Dude, your plot is not so complicated that someone could have questions about it. This is criticism.
If you prefer shorter, then it's interesting to watch, not to play. Live with it.

 

[anon280]

I sorta feel happy for the breeding-fans that they may have a high quality game on their hands after the countless times of seeing threads with people asking "will there be pregnancy" - I believe there's also an overlap with those people and the wincesters. So yeah those would make up a good bit of your audience. I'm neither but I can appreciate the incest and would do my eyes well if i have the option to skip pregnancy stuff.

That being said

AVA writer

Spoiler: review of Prologue

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I like it for the fantasy setting, characters and visuals.

 

[AVA writer]

Dude, your plot is not so complicated that someone could have questions about it. This is criticism.
If you prefer shorter, then it's interesting to watch, not to play. Live with it.

There is a difference between criticism and fractally endless rhetorical questioning. I believe in you, you are my strongest soldier.

 

[AVA writer]

I sorta feel happy for the breeding-fans that they may have a high quality game on their hands after the countless times of seeing threads with people asking "will there be pregnancy" - I believe there's also an overlap with those people and the wincesters. So yeah those would make up a good bit of your audience. I'm neither but I can appreciate the incest and would do my eyes well if i have the option to skip pregnancy stuff.

That being said

AVA writer

Spoiler: review of Prologue

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

I like it for the fantasy setting, characters and visuals.

This is a really well-written and comprehensive review, thank you, it's already been pretty useful to us in making some improvements.

I think the forced bj part could have definitely been done better (pacing), but hopefully by update 1 that scene will make more sense at least from a character perspective, as the MC's eerily easy shifts into violence are a part of his character arc.

Some of the lighting inconsistency (you have a good eye) is because the earlier version of this prologue was even faster paced, if u can believe it, and after getting feedback from me and others pietro added renders everywhere to improve the flow of the story, work that he did in an extraordinarily short amount of time (and didn't neccessarily have to do). While this did effect continuity in SOME shots, it overall improved the flow of the entire game, so i'll take the minor con with the massive pro. (People sometimes forget this, but art always has some sort of solid deadline--even pornographic indie passion projects--while something will never be perfect, it can always be marginally improved in little ways, even very late into the process.)

Thanks again for your comprehensive review. You should post it in the reviews channel thingy too, since i think people who haven't seen the game could find it useful at a glance.

 

[varkatzas666]

very good renders, very sexy girls, hopefully u also address how the relationship between Ulf and his sister began later on. For now, this looks too good

 

[anon280]

Thanks again for your comprehensive review. You should post it in the reviews channel thingy too, since i think people who haven't seen the game could find it useful at a glance.

i would but i reserve those for second releases or really long first releases. i would copy a lot of it into the review once a second comes in

 

[AVA writer]

i would but i reserve those for second releases or really long first releases. i would copy a lot of it into the review once a second comes in

Makes sense... i wish OTHER people would do that (and not leave fucking one star reviews on us after a short prologue, forever messing with our average score).

Pain.