VN Ren'Py King's New Life [v0.6b.1] [KingoftheJungle]

["CJ"]

King's New Life [Beta] [KingoftheJungle] crunched

Original / Compressed Size PC*: 650 MB / 131 MB - King'snewlife-0.1-pc-crunched.zip
Original / Compressed Size Mac: 616 MB / 97 MB - King'snewlife-0.1-mac-crunched.zip

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L O A D 'n' L I K E - If you L O A D it then L I K E it! If not, like it anyway! Thanks!

This compression is unofficial and untested, use at your own risk.
Compressing process reduces quality and can break the game.

*PC = Win+Linux

Tools: YAC v3.1c (hngg@f95zone) -

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[GrizzlyUK]

I totally get you, I've been speaking mainly English since my birth, but growing up in a non-English speaking country and speaking 3 other languages, really doesn't give me the time nor opportunities to further hone my proficiency. Despite being fairly adept, at times I'm still baffled at how difficult it can be to grasp the sheer complexity of English grammar. Not to mention the bizarre adoption and changes in American English. I don't even remember all the grammar terminology, I just go by whatever looks and sounds right in my head. Reading a lot in my younger days and consuming English media has definitely helped.

I'm not trying to argue here, but circling back to the apostrophe, when it comes to proper nouns, "King's Cross" and "Kings Cross" are both correct as they could mean the crossing was named after a King or Kings have crossed here. But when it's a possessive noun, as is the case in this VN's title, "King's New Life" is the only grammatically correct title. I understand where you're coming from and I feel like I'm reiterating, but I commented initially to only make a correction, while you were generally right about proper nouns, you missed the mark on it being a possessive noun, where apostrophes are imperative.

Being in a position to understand how difficult English can be, I am lenient on people who do not speak it primarily. Like I mentioned before, bad Overviews and some shoddy English in-game is forgivable, but a grammatically incorrect title is where I draw the line. Titles are the first thing that people see, and it's what they remember the VN by, if someone can't even get that much right, then it's not looking very hopeful. I think this is the first time I put on my grammar nazi hat and brandished my badge, and god do I feel awful, I bet my English teacher would be proud!

No argument from me, I was simply trying to explain where I made the mistake! I'm a native English speaker, English Language and English Literature were my best subjects way back in school but here we are, years later and I can still make a mistake!

I don't stress about bad English in VN's, so long as I can follow the story it's all good. But you're right about a VN's title being the first thing that grabs attention, followed by the overview. It does look as if this dev is eager to improve and is willing to listen to everyone, whether good or bad, so that's a plus as far as I'm concerned.

 

[UncleFredo]

This comment will be a mix of positives and negatives. First just from a content point of view an excellent start, lots of playing for a first release. Women are more than attractive enough, yes some are well used standards, but those to which that applies happen to be among my favorites, so for me it''s a positive.

The errors in word use and spelling are way way way beyond anything reasonable. Just awful. A little more "action" would have helped, 30-45 minutes of mostly back story, character introductions, and fore shadowing got pretty draining. But I understand you wanted to "set the story".

Now I'll give you a piece of advice, which is worth what you've paid for it. Telling people in a game you've released for free on a pirate site, that you're purposely withhold content in the next release from non-patrons is really going to sit VERY POORLY with the overwhelming majority of folks. It leaves a bitter taste. Plus moves like that virtually ensure that one or more of your patrons will leak the "full" version here. You'll do much better to attract patrons from those who frequent this site by producing an excellent game, than attempting to coerce them by withholding content.

In any event. It's a credible first release and I'll be waiting to see where you take the story.

 

[wildo]

Well at least we actually know why this dad died.

 

[HansDampf788]

I know I'm not a native English speaker myself but the English translation is horrible.

The renders are not the worst I've seen but to be honest they look as if they were made a few years ago. I've seen and played games that were finished 2 years ago that had better renders.

The story seems like it will have lots of stupid drama with all the powerful families or other organizations (e.g. Yakuza).

The models for the girls are a mixed bag for me, I know the bad renders don't do them any favors but still. The ones that I like are Aiko, Cassy, Maria/Jasmine, Mia, and Susan even with me not really being the biggest MILF fan.
What I don't like about the girls, Cassy and Jasmine look too similar, Emma's face looks too old to be 18, Dean Anderson and Agnes are just ugly, and for Queen, Ellena, and Madelyn all of them have too angular facial features for me.

Also, WTF fuck with the trance and forgiving the father shit and putting +4points for 2 characters behind it.

 

[MissFortune]

Capitalization is done on purpose.

Spoiler: Reason

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Therein lies the issue with the title. It doesn't matter if his name is Rex or King, or even Greg. It's his new life, meaning it's personal: King's New Life, as other's have explained. As a rule of thumb, every title should be capitalized. For example, The Lord of the Rings, Dune, The Dark Knight, etc.

The bigger problem is the roughness in word usage/context and other grammar/punctuation throughout the VN. In that sense, you would've likely been better off holding off your initial release until you got a native/fluent English speaker to proofread and/or help you edit the dialogueYou have to remember that a 0.1 is the first impression to your playerbase/users, this is the version that decides whether users stick around for more or not. Rough English is going to turn a lot of people away, and with so many other options out there, it's going to be hard to bring them back. Just my two pennies on that, though. You do you.

 

[KingoftheJungle009]

So we should basically treat this release as an beta? That would actually make sense if you ask me.

Yeah, I think that would be best description of it. I needed to know where I am at with the game, and I thought that this might be a good way to see where I am lacking. Mostly writing (dialogues and between the scenes, including grammatical errors), fixing up some renders would also help. I wanted to know what people think about story. Rerelease should be much better and I hope it will be up to peoples standards.

 

[KingoftheJungle009]

I know I'm not a native English speaker myself but the English translation is horrible.

The renders are not the worst I've seen but to be honest they look as if they were made a few years ago. I've seen and played games that were finished 2 years ago that had better renders.

The story seems like it will have lots of stupid drama with all the powerful families or other organizations (e.g. Yakuza).

The models for the girls are a mixed bag for me, I know the bad renders don't do them any favors but still. The ones that I like are Akio, Cassy, Maria/Jasmine, Mia, and Susan even with me not really being the biggest MILF fan.
What I don't like about the girls, Cassy and Jasmine look too similar, Emma's face looks too old to be 18, Dean Anderson and Agnes are just ugly, and for Queen, Ellena, and Madelyn all of them have too angular facial features for me.

Also, WTF fuck with the trance and forgiving the father shit and putting +4points for 2 characters behind it.

Thanks for your criticism, I hope to see your reaction when I publish rerelease to see how much improvement has been made in the process.
+4points is a little bit too much I agree, but it represents big move in his healing from 10 years of torture.
EDIT: I forgot to say that renders from the beginning of the game are created when I started doing all of this, beside dialogues my goal for rerelease is to fix big number of renders so it looks good.

 

[KingoftheJungle009]

Therein lies the issue with the title. It doesn't matter if his name is Rex or King, or even Greg. It's his new life, meaning it's personal: King's New Life, as other's have explained. As a rule of thumb, every title should be capitalized. For example, The Lord of the Rings, Dune, The Dark Knight, etc.

The bigger problem is the roughness in word usage/context and other grammar/punctuation throughout the VN. In that sense, you would've likely been better off holding off your initial release until you got a native/fluent English speaker to proofread and/or help you edit the dialogueYou have to remember that a 0.1 is the first impression to your playerbase/users, this is the version that decides whether users stick around for more or not. Rough English is going to turn a lot of people away, and with so many other options out there, it's going to be hard to bring them back. Just my two pennies on that, though. You do you.

Thank you. After reading some reactions from people I decided to install grammarly and book a session with a proofreader, that was meant to proofread this release, to go through the game and fix a lot of mistakes. I will fix title as I it bothers you too much. I don't want to spoil too much, but

Spoiler: Why the title

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[memory_of_nobody32]

harem? marvelous
incest? Awesome
now I hope they don't force the girls to be lesbian or bisexual just to make the harem work.
eye I am not against any type of sexual preference. (before the crystal generation comes out to cry)
A harem can also be for heterosexual girls and there is no problem, they can participate in group sex with the MC.
but most games force the girls to be lesbian or bisexual for the harem to work.
The same would happen if the protagonist were a woman and she wanted to have a boys or girls harem, you do not have to force her sexuality so that she enjoys both sexes, separately or in a group, but you do not have to force everyone to interact with everybody.
If you want to see lesbianism there are games that focus on that, if you want to see gays there are games for that.

Personal Opinion:
I personally do not like that the mother is a lesbian forced to interact with her daughters or other girls. the harem can work quietly.
now do not people come to me to try to impose their ideals and want mine to change,
I respect their preferences but respect those of others.

 

[HansDampf788]

Spoiler: Why the title

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And this is what I meant with the stupid drama in my first post, I already see that one group after another will come for the MC and we will constantly have to deal with them and the trouble they will cause for the MC and his girls and I hate it. We already have the problem with General Kahn and his powerful allies and the fact that Rose is left alone in the old city, then I already see problems with the Yakuza because they will probably not like it that Aiko has a crush on the MC.

 

[KingoftheJungle009]

harem? marvelous
incest? Awesome
now I hope they don't force the girls to be lesbian or bisexual just to make the harem work.
eye I am not against any type of sexual preference. (before the crystal generation comes out to cry)
A harem can also be for heterosexual girls and there is no problem, they can participate in group sex with the MC.
but most games force the girls to be lesbian or bisexual for the harem to work.
The same would happen if the protagonist were a woman and she wanted to have a boys or girls harem, you do not have to force her sexuality so that she enjoys both sexes, separately or in a group, but you do not have to force everyone to interact with everybody.
If you want to see lesbianism there are games that focus on that, if you want to see gays there are games for that.

Personal Opinion:
I personally do not like that the mother is a lesbian forced to interact with her daughters or other girls. the harem can work quietly.
now do not people come to me to try to impose their ideals and want mine to change,
I respect their preferences but respect those of others.

There are few characters that are "forced" into being part of the harem. but for a lot of character plan is to give player a choice if they want that character in harem. There will be bisexual characters as part of the harem in future updates, but I plan to include them slowly so it doesn't mean it's just part of harem used as a tool for group sex, but a character themselves.

 

[KingoftheJungle009]

And this is what I meant with the stupid drama in my first post, I already see that one group after another will come for the MC and we will constantly have to deal with them and the trouble they will cause for the MC and his girls and I hate it. We already have the problem with General Kahn and his powerful allies and the fact that Rose is left alone in the old city, then I already see problems with the Yakuza because they will probably not like it that Aiko has a crush on the MC.

I don't want you to be angry with me or my game, so I will have to explain some things that are planned for future updates. For whoever is reading this if you don't want some big spoilers for the game, I recommend not to read SPOILED part of this comment.

Spoiler: BIG SPOILERS

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I just wanted to clarify some things, I just hope that everyone will be able to enjoy my game in the future.

 

[Osamabeenfappin]

Not gonna lie,this VN has it's issues. Yet it was strangely enjoyable,and now I can't wait to meet Ginger.

 

[TheSidewinder]

In this argument about spelling and capitalization, I think some are overlooking that the game needs to run on 3 or 4 platforms, one or more of which may not play well with apostrophes in the filename. So I'd personally call it Kings_New_Life (dot.zip) and use the same convention for folder name, since that works on all of them. Just a thought.

 

[Jonny Skull]

At this point, I am getting the clear picture that this is gonna be a very poorly executed Gary Stu wish fulfillment game.

Heh, indeed. The MC in this takes Gary Stu to the next level. Game kinda reminds me of Almost Dead or A New Beginning.

 

[KingoftheJungle009]

Heh, indeed. The MC in this takes Gary Stu to the next level. Game kinda reminds me of Almost Dead or A New Beginning.

I am sorry, but I didn't play those games before, so I don't have any perspective of similarity. If someone could message me similarities between my game and those two games I would be very grateful.

 

[drifter139]

normally these games open with dad dying on some illness or a car accident but MC killing his own dad is a new one to me. may the gods favor you, dev

 

[Qmil679]

This game reminds me a bit of the "Maou-Sama" game.
In that game, it's the same as it is here that every woman who knows or sees the MC even for the first time is instantly in love with him and wants him.

I'm not saying it's bad, because I enjoy playing this game.
But I don't feel the challenge then.

 

[Allan Trumbull]

KingoftheJungle009
Better to add these additional but very useful settings