2.90 star(s) 25 Votes

KingoftheJungle009

Member
Game Developer
Oct 20, 2021
296
752
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Will the MCs that kill abusive fathers be a new trending? It seems interesting (the overview reminds me a bit of the game A New Home, but in that if I remember the mc did not kill the father in the end haha)

Good Luck Dev.
I don't know if it will become a new trend, but only time will tell. I get it why it reminds you, it just a coincidence. if I remember correctly in A New Home dad died in staged car accident. Haven't play that game in a while. Really great game.
 

desmosome

Conversation Conqueror
Sep 5, 2018
6,053
13,984
Pretty cringy intro... I'm having a hard time getting through this lol.

Edit: Ok, it's not just the intro. Everything is cringe. Good luck I guess...

Edit: Dev asked for details, so here we go. I didn't really elaborate because my opinion of the game was so low by the time I deleted it. I generally leave lengthier critiques when I see some potential in the writing despite the issues. Here... I didn't really see it.

The first issue is that the intro is a huge meandering exposition dump, told through 4th wall breaking narration by the MC to the audience. It's not impossible to make this work, but we usually see it associated with poor writers making an exposition dump of the entire upbringing of the MC (which is the case here). Even then, if the actual backstory was interesting or made any sense, I could get past it. Here, the long winded exposition was basically trying to justify the MC murdering his dad. No, it failed miserably at getting players to empathize because it's the intro and we don't even know the MC. It doesn't even give details on how his father "made him slave." He was abusive to the MC when they were alone and one day, the MC just commits premeditated murder on him. It introduces a bunch of characters we don't care about, and tells us that we should care about them. Queen randomly finds the MC in the hospital and trains him for some reason. The MC somehow becomes the "smartest kid in the world" because he learned Latin, art, business, and so on. I guess he is also the #1 mercenary according to the overview. At this point, I am getting the clear picture that this is gonna be a very poorly executed Gary Stu wish fulfillment game.

Sure enough, the very first line of text after the intro has the lawyer thinking that the MC is cute and how "there was a fire burning in her crotch" as soon as he entered. The MC tells his sob story. The police officer immediately follows with her own thoughts of how "he is someone she can see building her future with." MC says he will take any punishment the court decides, and the women are all flooded with juices of admiration at how amazing the MC is. As if he is some kind of hero for killing his abusive father. It's still premeditated murder if you drug your victim, slit his throat and stab his heart. It wasn't even done in self defense or in the heat of the moment. What's so admirable and heroic about this? The actual good guy thing to do would be to move out and cut ties.

I couldn't take any more of this "I am a good guy MC who is good at everything and the ladies love me because I am good," written at the level of some 5th grader's fanfiction with Engrish to boot.

I unwatched the thread after leaving a one liner because I really had no constructive criticism to give. All I was left with by the time I deleted was a big sense of cringe. After writing this, I notice that it was unnecessarily derisive. Sorry about that, but you asked for my opinion.
 
Last edited:

GrizzlyUK

Active Member
Oct 21, 2019
539
526
I allready got a headache because of the grammar o_O Also too many blonde characters for my taste
So you're complaining about bad grammar while apparently forgetting to use any punctuation in your post? :unsure: :eek: :ROFLMAO: Amazingly ironic isn't it? :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO: But don't worry, I'll not mention anything about the spelling mistake you made though! (y) :cool: :ROFLMAO:

If you're going to complain about grammar, spelling, punctuation etc then you've really got to make sure that your own post complaining about that is actually 100% accurate and completely error free! o_O While it's actually a rather common mistake that's been made by many, many others, I just find it hilarious that some people feel the need to complain about bad grammar, poor spelling, punctuation mistakes and then they forget to make sure that they themselves haven't made any such mistakes in their post! :eek: :ROFLMAO: :cool:

Capitalization is done on purpose.
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Purely as an FYI, as a title for a game, book etc, it's generally accepted that each word in the title should begin with a capital, so this should be Kings New Life. Some may also say that Kings should be spelt as King's, but with it being used as a name the use of the apostrophe is immaterial and either spelling is fine. :unsure:

You may want to consider using as an alternative to Patreon, mainly because Patreon can be somewhat problematic regarding certain adult content.
 

KingoftheJungle009

Member
Game Developer
Oct 20, 2021
296
752
So you're complaining about bad grammar while apparently forgetting to use any punctuation in your post? :unsure: :eek: :ROFLMAO: Amazingly ironic isn't it? :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO: But don't worry, I'll not mention anything about the spelling mistake you made though! (y) :cool: :ROFLMAO:

If you're going to complain about grammar, spelling, punctuation etc then you've really got to make sure that your own post complaining about that is actually 100% accurate and completely error free! o_O While it's actually a rather common mistake that's been made by many, many others, I just find it hilarious that some people feel the need to complain about bad grammar, poor spelling, punctuation mistakes and then they forget to make sure that they themselves haven't made any such mistakes in their post! :eek: :ROFLMAO: :cool:


Purely as an FYI, as a title for a game, book etc, it's generally accepted that each word in the title should begin with a capital, so this should be Kings New Life. Some may also say that Kings should be spelt as King's, but with it being used as a name the use of the apostrophe is immaterial and either spelling is fine. :unsure:

You may want to consider using as an alternative to Patreon, mainly because Patreon can be somewhat problematic regarding certain adult content.
Thank you very much. I am planning to do minor update in a week or too, with around 100 new renders. I will definitely listen to your advices
 

TiffanyMonroe

Forum Fanatic
May 29, 2018
5,767
13,711
The dad is dead, long live the MC! :BootyTime:

o_O Wow, the dead dad is nothing special anymore, but that the MC is the one who killed him, that's a whole new level!
And all for the sake of incest! What kind of times do we actually live in? :unsure:

Dads all over the world beware! The danger lurks in your own four walls and you brought it into this world! :HideThePain::KEK:

But nice renders!(y) Good luck with your game KingoftheJungle009!
He short so the father probably didn't see him coming. :KEK:
 

GrizzlyUK

Active Member
Oct 21, 2019
539
526
Thank you very much. I am planning to do minor update in a week or too, with around 100 new renders. I will definitely listen to your advices
No problem, afraid I forgot to mention another little FYI: there's a sub-forum named Recruitment & Services where you could, if you wanted, try to recruit a proofreader to help you with the English. Not saying you should, just letting you know that such a thing exists in case you might want to make use of it. ;) Totally your choice to make! :cool:
 
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KingoftheJungle009

Member
Game Developer
Oct 20, 2021
296
752
Nice to see 30 to 45 minutes of content for first release . Loved the game story and lots of variety in female characters . Looking forward to next release .
Ohhhh Can't wait for the next update didn't want to stop play but it took an End Too Bad just have to wait to next Release keep it up
Thanks, TBH you guys just made my day. I will try and make next release come as soon as possible.
 

KingoftheJungle009

Member
Game Developer
Oct 20, 2021
296
752
No problem, afraid I forgot to mention another little FYI: there's a sub-forum named Recruitment & Services where you could, if you wanted, try to recruit a proofreader to help you with the English. Not saying you should, just letting you know that such a thing exists in case you might want to make use of it. ;) Totally your choice to make! :cool:
Thanks once again, I actually contacted proofreader 2 day ago, but for personal reasons I had to release it sooner then expected.
 
2.90 star(s) 25 Votes