VN Ren'Py Origin Story [Development Thread]

[Jacquesdor]

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Hi all. I’m going to follow suit with the other development journals I have come across on here in the hopes that it will garner some interest in the AVN I am currently working on.

Just a bit about me: prior to November 2021 I had no experience in any kind of programming or 3D modelling, though I have enjoyed writing throughout the years. I then discovered AVNs and thought it might be something I wanted to try my hand at.

I spent the following year learning Ren’Py and Daz and experimenting with a visual novel. As I became proficient in Daz and Ren'py, I realised that I was no longer pleased with the quality of what I had done so far, nor did I expect a novel with such niche kinks to succeed enough to spend so much time on. Thus a new idea blossomed, and I have now been working on this for six months.

The Story

The story takes place twenty years after the Metagen-92 virus – aka the “Superflu” – swept through the world and rendered many of its adult population superpowered or mutated. Vaccines were developed, but many refused to take them, and now the virus evolved beyond the effectiveness of the original vaccine. Those vaccinated before it evolved, remain without abilities, as do their children. Any child from unvaccinated parents manifests their powers somewhere between the age of 13-21.

Though the world has since adapted, and now a life where many have special abilities is considered the norm, the Metagen Task Force (MTF), a government organization tasked with the control of metagen abilities across the country, is enforcing a strict and harsh authoritarian approach. As a result, full time education is now mandatory until the age of 22 to allow faculty members to keep a watchful eye out for any students manifesting their powers and developing an inclination of malintent. Any misuse of power could land trouble students in a Reformation Camp indefinitely.

You play as MC (name customizable), a seemingly normal and handsome nineteen-year-old struggling with his social status and his virginity, who is shunned by his peers due to his ability not yet manifesting. After the death of his parents when he was just a baby, he was raised by their close friend Parker Samson, an influential and beautiful woman who is now a co-owner of the lead organization behind Metagen research and development of the Metagen Vaccine.

When MC is targeted and violently attacked for reasons unknown to him, The Sisterhood – an MTF-backed team of celebrity superheroines & sex icons he idolizes - comes to his aid. While under their care, his ability manifests, and his life suddenly becomes a series of wild sexual adventures. He soon finds himself on the path to determine whether this is the origin story of a hero, or a villain.

Spoiler: TAGS

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Characters

MC​

A friendly, confident and horny guy who in any normal world would be succeeding in all aspects of life and love, but in this world, he hasn’t manifested his ability – and like most “normies” he is shunned by the majority of his peers and as a result, has so far been completely unlucky in love.

Parker​

Parker is MC’s legal guardian, who has raised him since the death of his parents when he was just a baby. Being a friend of his parents meant that she felt responsible for taking him on and raising him as her own. The trouble is, she isn’t blood-related, so MC can’t help but be obsessed with her and feels no shame about it. She occupies his every fantasy.

Riley​

Riley is Parker’s daughter, and quasi-stepsister to MC. She is sassy and bold, and despite all of his unwanted sexual advances to her, has a strong bond with MC. She takes his pervy nature on the chin, shrugs it off and throws it right back at him in the form of an insult, but she’ll also kick the ass of anyone who dares step up to him.

Evelyn​

Evelyn is MC’s best friend and neighbor. She is witty, sweet, and embodies the girl-next-door appeal like no other. Like MC, she also retains her V-card. Unlike MC, she retains it through her own choices. Besides, she doesn’t need to experience sex like most people do. Every time she sleeps, she occupies the minds of random vessels and feels their senses as if they were her own - she knows exactly what sex feels like.

Fraser​

Fraser is another of MC’s trio of friends. He doesn’t believe in Character Profiles. He feels he is worth more than just a few sentences.

Amber
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Amber is the final member of MC’s trio of friends. She’s invisible, and with invisibility comes a great loneliness and depression. MC wishes he could do something to help her control her power so she can feel seen again.

The Sisterhood

Ghostraven​

The bad-ass and secretive self-proclaimed leader of the Sisterhood. Her enhanced agility means she is fast, strong, and deadly with her blade – and she is hot to boot.

Moonsong​

The sweet and seemingly timid member of the Sisterhood. Her reliance on her ability to conjure a wolf by her side means she is not the best of fighters, but she is still able to hold her own in combat when her wolf is not tearing up her foes for her. Moonsong has grown tired of the sexualization of The Sisterhood by their own marketing team and aspires for them to be something more... something feared by anyone who would dare to cross them.

Emerald​

The sassy and wild member of the team, who harnesses an unknown cosmic energy which she can channel and use to make herself float, and weaponize in the form of powerful blasts of “Emerald Energy”. Emerald has no qualms about being portrayed as some hot sex icon for horny teenagers to fantasize about. In fact, she quite enjoys it.

Lady Steel​

The rough and ready former biker chick who wields superstrength and a chrome-plated sledgehammer to obliterate anyone who crosses her. She has a takes-no-shit attitude and a penchant for violence when called for.

Coldsnap​

Cold in power and cold in personality. Coldsnap is reclusive, distant and shies away from the media spotlight. But maybe there’s someone who can pierce her moody and impenetrable façade and get to know the real girl beneath the badass cryokinetic superhero that the rest of the world sees.

Game Basics

In its current state the game is a very linear story - and a whole lot of it - with a few alternate scenes depending on the choices made by the player. I would be lying if I said I didn’t want more branching paths and alternate scenes, and this is something I intend to work on and fit into the story where it calls for it. But at present I have one main storyline mapped out which will lead to a huge choice roughly two thirds into it. This choice will have a huge impact on the final act of the story (I’m talking two options for final acts completely independent of each other). There'll be a lot of humor, some dark and disturbing moments, and plenty of moments where you wouldn't want your parents to walk in on you while you play.

There are some small free-roaming sections sprinkled throughout the story where the player can explore certain locations with optional conversations and opportunities to learn more about the world in which the game is set. There are no collectibles leading to a bonus gallery or anything like that, but this is something I would like to incorporate in the future.

I am essentially an amateur at Ren’Py, so anyone looking for a game with complex mechanics might want to look elsewhere. There are no complicated GUIs, affection systems and no mini games planned whatsoever (unfortunately I am not Dr. PinkCake). I do, however, have some pride in my renders. While certainly not in the highest echelon of quality, I hope they're getting there. And I get better the more I do.

I tried my hand at animation, but unfortunately it is far too time consuming for something that, for me, comes out as incredibly janky. So for now, any lewd scenes will be comprised of static renders, along with the occasional dynamic image sprinkled in. I'm going for something along the lines of the excellent Chasing Sunsets with this. When I get better at animating I'd like to go back and retroactively insert better animation scenes into it.

There is audio and music in the game.

Planned Release/Update Schedule

As for when I plan to unleash the first release, I don’t know. Hopefully sometime soon. I want the first release to have a significant amount of content, so I don’t want to rush it. At present I have 15 chapters of the story already scripted out. Of those 2 are all coded, rendered (1300+ to be precise) and good to go, and a further 13 have already been coded out in Ren’Py and are just waiting on renders.

I wanted to get as far as I could in writing the story at first to avoid a scenario where I think of an idea further down the line that makes me realize I must go back and re-write something from an already released chapter or retcon it instead. After five months of sitting in my car on my laptop during lunch breaks, and risking getting fired by writing a sex story on company time when I'm alone on a night shift, I'm approaching a point where I will have the whole story soon scripted out from start to finish. I expect by then I will have rendered up until the end of chapter 3.

As for a release schedule on further updates, again I don’t know at this time. Unfortunately, I have the same burdens most people do: a family that also requires my attention, a full-time job, a mortgage to pay. Between working and looking after my four-year-old son, I have very little spare time, and what time I do have I sometimes need to give to my wife (though she is very supportive of this venture and has promised to not get jealous if I spend more time with my PC than her… as long as there is a possibility of earning some cash from it in the future). All of this will certainly hinder my ability to get updates out at a reasonable rate, but I will do my best. When it comes to it, the first release will be the whole of chapter 1. Following that I hope to release half-chapter updates every 6 weeks.

So on that note, if there is any kind souls out there who want to help support a fresh and struggling developer who is pouring a huge amount of his life into this project, please feel free to visit:

You must be registered to see the links

I'm only keeping this on the low cost tier available for now, as it will be unfair for me to do anything else while I don't have a whole lot to show for it. I will reward the first five patrons with an exclusive and personalized render of any Origin Story character of their choice.

A Sneak Peek

Now it's all well and good posting out of context character profile images, but none of these really give the true feel of the AVN I'm creating. So please enjoy a few renders instead:

And finally, The Sisterhood are sex icons as well as superheroes. They are no strangers to stripping down and performing for a camera. Throughout the story you will come across opportunities to read interviews with them and view sexy photoshoots. Here's a sneaky look at one of those:


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Right, that's me for now. More updates as and when they come. I hope you like the look of it.

 

[Jacquesdor]

I've already had a few DMs asking me the same questions so I'm just going to answer these here for the sake of others.

Are you going to have serious love interests?

No, all characters you see in the above post (except Fraser) and some side characters you'll see soon enough, will have sexual content depending on choices made and paths taken by the player. Yep, including the invisible chick (you'll see how that works eventually).

At present, none of these women are super serious romances that will hinder the player's chances with other characters. One would probably call it a "fake harem" game, and I'm perfectly fine with that.

There will be an option to opt out of future sexual interactions with certain girls, either eventually... or before anything even happens in the first place. For story reasons which I can't explain without spoiling the main driving plot, some girls will have forced sex scenes... at least for a time.

Will the story include any NTR/Cuckolding?

No, not anything that actually qualifies as NTR though everyone's definition of NTR is different. There is an entirely optional scene where you witness a potential future LI (depending on a particular choice) in a sexual act, but that is only 3 renders, avoidable (replaced with an alternative if you opt out) and the only instance of this kind of content in the entire game.

Will the story include any Futa characters?

No, there is no futa planned.

Will there be gay/bisexual (male) content?

No, there will not.

---

The short of it is, I want this VN to appeal to as many as possible, and unfortunately even completely optional NTR/Futa/Gay/Bi content tends to send most potential players running. That's part of the reason I abandoned my previous VN (that and it was fairly janky as I was still learning Daz/Renpy... plus I just had a better story idea).

 

[Jacquesdor]

Now time for some Side Characters to be introduced - I'll drip feed these a couple at a time.


Name: Marina
Age: 18
Ability: Can determine people's greatest sexual fantasies just by looking at them.
Bio: As the new girl at school, Marina is struggling to find her place. Being new she is often the subject of abuse at the hands of the more socially established students. But such bullies better take care around her because she uses her secret ability to document everyone's sexual fantasies and isn't afraid to reveal the secrets of anyone who crosses her to rest of the school.


Name: Lake
Age: 23
Ability: Can replicate any objects she can see... within reason.
Bio: Lake is a close friend of Riley and uses her ability to run her own business "The ReplikMart". She is rude, standoffish and tends to rub people up the wrong way. But maybe she's not so bad deep down.

 

[Jacquesdor]

Name: Lucía
Age: 19
Ability: Can pause time.
Bio: Lucía is one of the "popular girls". Some would call her a bitch... actually probably most would. But most would do it behind her back because she'll use her ability to fuck with anyone who crosses her. She'll get away with it too, because she uses her ability without fear of repercussion. Her father is the school's biggest donator after all.


Name: Catherine "Cat"
Age: 19
Ability: Can temporarily multiply herself.
Bio: She's called Cat. She makes copies of herself. Guess where this is going. Prickly and... catty... Cat is a huge pain in everyone's ass. Most avoid her. Except those with cash to spare.

 

[Invisovsky]

Relationships with invisible chick yeesss!

 

[Jacquesdor]

Relationships with invisible chick yeesss!

Not going to lie, I couldn't tell if this was sarcastic so I had to check your post history. I see it was not.

I guess I've got you.

 

[Jacquesdor]

Name: Mrs. Ross
Age: 42
Ability: None
Bio: When she is not distracting her students with glimpses of her cleavage, Mrs. Ross is a teacher at New Riverford State. She is abrupt and occasionally strict, but she has her students best interests at heart. She disagrees with certain methods of discipline adopted by the school and constantly butts heads with the Principal who she has ambitions of replacing. But maybe she has a secret that could make such ambitions fall apart.


Name: Principal Brown
Age: 53
Ability: None
Bio: As the head of New Riverford State, students fear Principal Brown. Equal parts stern and shady, he is no stranger to punishing trouble students and sending them to reformation camps. Some would say he even enjoys it.

 

[Jacquesdor]

A little break in Side Character briefs for something different.

As mentioned in the main summary, the visual novel will have some brief freeroaming sections dotted throughout the story.

Here's a little peek at one very early in Chapter 1:

You start in the MC's bedroom. As you can see... maybe he's a bit too much of a fan of The Sisterhood. The visible arrows are used to navigate through different parts of the bedroom or house. Many things here can be interacted with: the posters, the photos, the TV, the computer.



Each poster will give a little bit of backstory to The Sisterhood.



Photos will trigger flashback sequences surrounding the events they were taken in, which will give backstory to the MC and the characters around him.



The TV may give you a little hint of future plot points.



Maybe you want to use the computer to browse your photo collection, read your emails, read interviews, perv over sexy photo shoots, read the news or just stare at your Ghostraven wallpaper and fap away.




You can have a wander through other parts of the house.



Have a chat with Riley.



Snoop in Parker's room.



Look at Parker's photos.



Or snoop through her drawers.



These freeroam sections will be few and far between. But I hope they will add a little more interactivity to the novel while also fleshing out backstory and lore.

 

[Jacquesdor]

The Lewd Scenes

As I finish the end of rendering Chapter 2 which ends with a sex scene, I thought I'd talk a little about how these work.

They are nothing game changing or anything like that, but I hope to bring a more natural flow to my lewd scenes.

There will be some scenes that just happen; there's no interactive element to them at all, but these will be seldom. Some scenes where the player will take complete control (maybe because the girl is submissive). And finally some scenes that are even a little more involved for both parties.

The scene I am just finishing starts at the end of a date gone well. The girl teases the MC a little, gets him worked up and then tells him he has to work for more. At this point you will come across a static image of said girl lying down on bed in only her thong. The player then has the option to hover over different parts of her body where different options will become visible when you find them (kiss her, kiss her neck, kiss her breasts, eat her pussy, worship her feet - I had to put something in for the feet guys).


Each option then opens a short little foreplay scene. Naturally if you eat her pussy first, you're probably going to want to get that thong off her - in which case all other foreplay actions (and the original static image) will have her thong removed after that point and the renders & dialogue adjusts accordingly. I'm a sucker for the details.


Once you complete three of these actions, you will have the option to skip foreplay and move on. If you complete all five, the scene will naturally progress.

At this point she'll return the favour, but you have two options. Do you have her on her knees or do you 69. Once you've chosen one, you can't choose the other.

Then comes the sex.

Typical menus will appear with different sex positions which lead to a short scene of said position. At the end of the scene the option to cum will occur. If you do choose to cum, the place in which you cum depends on the position you're in. If you're in missionary do you cum inside her, or do you pull out and cum over her stomach. If you're in doggy, do you cum inside her or do you pull out and cum over her ass. Or do you just resist, and go back to the menu to try out the different positions instead. If you went the extra mile in the foreplay, and you've opted in to anal sex earlier in the game, maybe you'll find a new option has appeared that wasn't there previously. Or maybe you'll just decide to cum from the main menu which will give you a few options on where to cum that weren't available during the position's cum menu.

I just want to vary the scenes up a bit, and I hope this is a good way to do it.

Now enjoy my favourite render from this scene.

 

[Jacquesdor]

Back to introducing some more side characters:


Name: Todd
Age: 24
Ability: Can teleport anyone he has "imprinted" to any location of their choosing.
Bio: Todd is a loyal employee behind the scenes of The Sisterhood and is kept isolated in their headquarters. He is at their beck and call and with advanced satellite technology at the Sisterhood's disposal, he is always ready to use his ability to transport them to any situation that requires their intervention in a heartbeat. Some might call him a prisoner, but Todd quite enjoys being surrounded by powerful and beautiful women.


Name: Celeste
Age: 26
Ability: Telepathy
Bio: After The Sisterhood saved her family from imminent and certain death, Celeste devoted herself to The Sisterhood. She lives with Todd in their headquarters, and using her ability, acts as a human alarm system to immediately warn The Sisterhood to any danger within the HQ.


Name: Isabella
Age: 28
Ability: Can summon and control a temporary duplicate of anyone's greatest desire, or any individual that she is at least aware of.
Bio: After using her ability to attempt to get her out of a bad financial spot, Isabella found herself a resident of The Sisterhood's containment facility. Moonsong understands she's not a bad person deep down, and knows that maybe she can use her ability for something greater.

 

[Jacquesdor]

Final load of side characters to introduce for now. Every "superhero" story needs its supervillains:


Name: Chokehold
Age: 31
Ability: Strength and immovability
Bio: Chokehold is a regular wrestler on the popular weekly TV event "Superfight Live". Though she is a wrestler, there is nothing fake about her (except maybe her chest). She is foul-mouthed, antagonistic and, for reasons unknown to anyone but herself, has a huge chip on her shoulder over Lady Steel.


Name: Inferno
Age: 27
Ability: Pyrokinesis
Bio: A known villain across the world, Inferno finds herself captured by The Sisterhood and held in their containment facility early on the story. She is sassy, insolent, hedonistic and sociopathic.


Name: Scarlet Shadow
Age: 20
Ability: Enhanced agility, dexterity and accuracy
Bio: An elusive villain wanted by authorities across the world, Scarlet Shadow has recently upgraded from low level cat burglar to deadly assassin. Though her skills are in demand from villains all over, she is not below returning to her old ways to steal a priceless jewel or piece of art when the opportunity arises.

 

[Jacquesdor]

A little update in terms of development today.

So I have now finished writing the script for the story up until Chapter 14, and now working on Chapter 15a. Everything after Chapter 14 depends on a huge decision made by the player, so from this point I will be basically be writing two completely separate scripts for each path chosen. So far, the script is clocking it at 371 pages of A4 or 131,526 words. It’s a lot. For an idea just how much I mean, imagine 371 pages of this (and that's not even a full page):



I’m still finishing up the final scene of chapter 2 in Daz, but this should be done in the next day or two. I’m in two minds as to whether have the first release be just the first 2 chapters which at present clocks in at around 2 hours of play. I really want to get something out there to get some feedback on, because I’m sure as hell not getting anything at the moment. But the end of chapter 3 feels like a natural place to end the first preview and hopefully have players excited for more. I’ll have to think on it.

I have also been getting all the relevant socials and subscription services ready. Discord, Reddit, Twitter and obviously Patreon.

Naturally, I feel it's very presumptuous and unfair for me to expect people to support me on Patreon already, especially without a playable release to show for it, so I'm only opening this on a low cost tier for now for any kind souls who do feel inclined. I've been working on this for 6 months already, and the increase in my electricity bills since I started rendering every chance I get is insane. I need all the help I can get.

So if you do want to support me in any way, even at this early stage while no-one knows who I am, please feel free to visit

You must be registered to see the links

. You will find a few glimpses of other renders in the bio, and I have already posted a few special renders there for people to peek when they first subscribe. I'll reserve posting anymore until I actually get someone to post them to.

What I would like to do, to show how grateful I am to any supporters, is produce an exclusive and personalized render for the first five patrons, of an Origin Story character of their choice. I then intend to have these visible in the game at some point, even if accessed through the main menu.

Thanks again, if you are reading this. I hope this looks at least interesting to someone out there.

Now please enjoy the full picture you can see in my avatar. This is from another of the Sisterhood sexy photoshoots.

 

[Invisovsky]

Not going to lie, I couldn't tell if this was sarcastic so I had to check your post history. I see it was not.

I guess I've got you.

Not sarcastic. I'm into invisible girls and I could say they really rare thing in the games.

So..hope we'll see some demo builds soon.

 

[Jacquesdor]

Not sarcastic. I'm into invisible girls and I could say they really rare thing in the games.

So..hope we'll see some demo builds soon.

I'm trying my best.

I will warn you in advance that Amber (invisible girl) won't have any significant content for quite a while. She will make an appearance every so often (not literally I guess).

 

[Jacquesdor]

I had not really done any post-work on any of my renders yet, though it was something I had aimed to do. Following some great tips received by friendly devs here, I've started a huge undertaking doing post on almost every render I had.

I'm updating the renders posted on previous entries as I go, but here's a few more that have now had some post done on them already:



Postwork Progress - 379/1118 34%

I'm also working on some additional short "Memory" scenes that will act as flashbacks to flesh out the MC's family, friends and the world itself. These will be unlocked during the sporadic freeroam events... in the case of the ones I'm currently doing these will be visible by selecting the MC's photographs on his wall:




Currently 2 out of 6 (maybe 7) memories complete for the first freeroam.

Here's a few renders from them:




In terms of release of a first release - still a little while off. I've got to finish all this post work first, the remaining memories, replace a few of the janky animations with static renders until I can get better at animating, a few tweaks to menus and GUI, sourcing music & audio and coding that into it.

I can see it on the distant horizon though.

 

[Jacquesdor]

One of the memories I'm working on has one of the characters scanning through a magazine admiring lingerie shots of the Sisterhood. I've been spending the past day putting together the renders that will appear in this magazine. Unless I implement a bonus gallery function, they'll only appear as tiny renders within a render... so they might as well go somewhere else:

 

[Jacquesdor]

Celebratory first patron post!

Yep, I did it. A very kind and generous soul hit up my Patreon. This means a huge deal to me given the lack of anything playable so far, so to say I'm elated that someone is supporting me is an understatement.

As mentioned in a previous post I will be rewarding the first five patrons with a custom render of a character of their choice. Here is their one of their chosen character Emerald:



In terms on an update on what's required before I release Chapters 1 & 2 as the first release:

• Music & Sound sourced and completely coded into both chapters - just need a few tweaks on the sound effects. Nothing huge.
• 3 and a half more "memories" (short 10 min-ish flash back sequences) to pose, render and post.
• 3 or 4 renders missing from opening narration.
• 10-15 static renders to replace janky animations
• Title cards/age restriction and end of release screens.
• Post work on 650 existing renders (probably the biggest task).
• Compression.
• Bug fixing.
• Packaging.
• Uploading.

I'm cautiously optimistic that I'll have something out there in 1-2 months. Fingers crossed.

 

[motseer]

First, let me say I'm impressed by the amount of preparation you have already accomplished; doubly so, since, you say you are 1-2 months out from first release. What you have posted so far about the development process and your future plans has inspired just a few comments/questions that I hope may help in some small way.

1. You say the first two chapters are basically finished and you are considering publishing up to 3 chapters in your first release and this would amount to as much as 2 to 3 hours of content, correct? No, no, no, no. While I understand your desire to inspire a large following quickly, that is the wrong way to do it. Forgive my blunt reaction but, you will only subject yourself to unrealistic expectations that you will quickly repeat with another large dose of content. However long it takes you to produce what you feel to be an adequate amount of content for a second release will be the amount of time that enthusiasm fades and turns to accusations that you are already "milking". I would strongly encourage you to find appropriate break points near the half way point of each chapter and, thus, have your first post and the next 5 updates ready to go. If you space them out at 4-6 week intervals you will hear nothing but praise about the amount of content you are consistently releasing.

2. Would you say each chapter covers a period of time in the story of a few days or a few weeks? If it is the former I would like to suggest you do some minor editing so that something more like a few weeks of time passes in a chapter. Even some of the best authors consistently make this mistake. You will be amazed at how much realism you lend to the story if you give the impression of the passage of time. Do NOT laden your story with tedious and unnecessary events and dialogue. Just allow some time to flow and don't cram too many events into a single day. Maybe you didn't need to hear this; if not, forgive me for preaching to the choir.

3. I think your story has a great premise and shows a lot of originality. Even though it is Sci Fi, make the powers mostly believable. A little comic relief here and there is OK - not the other way round.

4. From reading your descriptions of the development process I can see you are already or will quickly become a prolific writer. The renders you have shown here are obviously very high quality and your posing is impressive as well. Whatever your skill level as an animator I would suggest not being afraid to start off without animations unless you are pretty good already. It's easy and impressive to go back and add them later when you get better or can afford an experienced animator. A good story, beautiful characters, and great renders will carry you quite far starting out.

I'll stop here for now and hope I'm not overstepping. Here's wishing you success!

 

[Jacquesdor]

Hey! Thank you for taking the time to do all this. As a new developer I really appreciate any advice or feedback I can get so the fact that you've dropped in to comment this much means a lot, and has given me a lot to think about.

1. You say the first two chapters are basically finished and you are considering publishing up to 3 chapters in your first release and this would amount to as much as 2 to 3 hours of content, correct? No, no, no, no. While I understand your desire to inspire a large following quickly, that is the wrong way to do it. Forgive my blunt reaction but, you will only subject yourself to unrealistic expectations that you will quickly repeat with another large dose of content. However long it takes you to produce what you feel to be an adequate amount of content for a second release will be the amount of time that enthusiasm fades and turns to accusations that you are already "milking". I would strongly encourage you to find appropriate break points near the half way point of each chapter and, thus, have your first post and the next 5 updates ready to go. If you space them out at 4-6 week intervals you will hear nothing but praise about the amount of content you are consistently releasing.

This is where you've made me think a lot today as I hadn't thought about it before, and I agree that it is certainly something I need to consider. My main concern if I was to do it this way would be where to break the first chapter. The first chapter is very much an introduction to the world, the characters etc... before leading up to an event that sets things into motion at the very end of the chapter. I'd struggle to find anywhere to naturally put a break in while keeping players intrigued and waiting for the next half.

What would make more sense to me is to break at the end of that first chapter, and then start to release further chapters in parts from there on. If I was to wait until I had at least another 5 updates ready, then I will have to push until I have chapter 3 and maybe even chapter 4 done. This could be months away, and I'm really starting to get antsy about people playing this and seeing what they think. I'm going to have to think long and hard about how I want to do it.

2. Would you say each chapter covers a period of time in the story of a few days or a few weeks? If it is the former I would like to suggest you do some minor editing so that something more like a few weeks of time passes in a chapter. Even some of the best authors consistently make this mistake. You will be amazed at how much realism you lend to the story if you give the impression of the passage of time. Do NOT laden your story with tedious and unnecessary events and dialogue. Just allow some time to flow and don't cram too many events into a single day. Maybe you didn't need to hear this; if not, forgive me for preaching to the choir.

Nope, you're not preaching to the choir here because this does apply to me. Each chapter does cover the course of a day, sometimes a few days. It's real hard to explain why it is this way without giving away too much of the plot which I was mostly hoping to keep under wraps until people play through it. Let's just say the story covers a crazy few weeks following the aforementioned event happening at the end of chapter 1.

I'm already trying to be mindful of keeping just how many things happen in a single day realistic. For a basic non-spoiler run down of a typical day in the game:

• go to college and have some conversations with some people
• maybe one story "event" happens during college
• go home, have some conversations with the family
• another story "event" in the evening (maybe a trip to a bar, something like that)
• potentially end the day on a lewd scene

In terms of realistic number of lewd events, there is maybe one day where the MC has four lewd scenes spread over the course of the day - and I've managed that before (maybe not for 10+ years but we won't talk about that) so it's not too unrealistic. That's the most so far.

3. I think your story has a great premise and shows a lot of originality. Even though it is Sci Fi, make the powers mostly believable. A little comic relief here and there is OK - not the other way round.

I'm certainly trying to find that balance of drama, intrigue and comedy. I'm trying to go for the feel of a high-school/college drama/comedy which just happens to be set in a world with superpowers where sometimes things get crazy.

In terms of realistic powers, I'm not sure there is such a thing lol. What I'm hoping for is a slight commentary on social status being based on what powers you have instead of what cliques you fall into etc.. There are references to people who used to be super popular when they were younger, suddenly finding themselves on the lower rung of social status because they manifested really dumb powers.

4. From reading your descriptions of the development process I can see you are already or will quickly become a prolific writer. The renders you have shown here are obviously very high quality and your posing is impressive as well. Whatever your skill level as an animator I would suggest not being afraid to start off without animations unless you are pretty good already. It's easy and impressive to go back and add them later when you get better or can afford an experienced animator. A good story, beautiful characters, and great renders will carry you quite far starting out.

Firstly, thank you. I put a lot of work into these renders so it is nice that someone does appreciate them.

In terms of the animation, yes that is exactly what I'm going to do. I originally came up with I think 7 animations (all in chapter 2). Only one of them looks half-way decent to me. Animating with Daz can be infuriating, but it is still something I will endeavor to learn. As you said, if I do get better then I may well just go back and insert them in later.

I'll stop here for now and hope I'm not overstepping. Here's wishing you success!

Again, not at all. It was really helpful. Thank you very much!

 

[motseer]

What would make more sense to me is to break at the end of that first chapter, and then start to release further chapters in parts from there on.



Nope, you're not preaching to the choir here because this does apply to me. Each chapter does cover the course of a day, sometimes a few days. It's real hard to explain why it is this way without giving away too much of the plot which I was mostly hoping to keep under wraps until people play through it. Let's just say the story covers a crazy few weeks following the aforementioned event happening at the end of chapter 1.

I'm already trying to be mindful of keeping just how many things happen in a single day realistic. For a basic non-spoiler run down of a typical day in the game:

• go to college and have some conversations with some people
• maybe one story "event" happens during college
• go home, have some conversations with the family
• another story "event" in the evening (maybe a trip to a bar, something like that)
• potentially end the day on a lewd scene

In terms of realistic number of lewd events, there is maybe one day where the MC has four lewd scenes spread over the course of the day - and I've managed that before (maybe not for 10+ years but we won't talk about that) so it's not too unrealistic. That's the most so far.



I'm certainly trying to find that balance of drama, intrigue and comedy. I'm trying to go for the feel of a high-school/college drama/comedy which just happens to be set in a world with superpowers where sometimes things get crazy.

In terms of realistic powers, I'm not sure there is such a thing lol. What I'm hoping for is a slight commentary on social status being based on what powers you have instead of what cliques you fall into etc.. There are references to people who used to be super popular when they were younger, suddenly finding themselves on the lower rung of social status because they manifested really dumb powers.



Firstly, thank you. I put a lot of work into these renders so it is nice that someone does appreciate them.

In terms of the animation, yes that is exactly what I'm going to do. I originally came up with I think 7 animations (all in chapter 2). Only one of them looks half-way decent to me. Animating with Daz can be infuriating, but it is still something I will endeavor to learn. As you said, if I do get better then I may well just go back and insert them in later.



Again, not at all. It was really helpful. Thank you very much!

"What would make more sense to me is to break at the end of that first chapter, and then start to release further chapters in parts from there on."

Of course. You are the only one who can decide appropriate break points. But you have gotten the gist of my intent with the suggestion. Use the content you have now and whatever you develop between now and first release like a "war chest". Two minutes after the first release someone will ask how often you plan to release updates; and that is whether you have already made a statement in Developer Notes or not. You already have your answer ready and this will quickly become a non issue. You can escape the first pitfall of new devs - inconsistency. Meanwhile, people will assume you are working on the next release and you are actually miles down the road. This gives you room to breath a bit. Enjoy the excitement and newness of the journey's beginning. Plus, later, if things get a little tight or stressful, you have a built-in cusion.

"In terms of realistic powers, I'm not sure there is such a thing lol."

Hehe. Just remember that, even though this is a fantastical story, people want to identify with the protagonist; whether they admit it or not. It's OK for MC to be a little bit heroic and in some way larger than life. Don't get sucked into the "no Chads allowed" BS. Again, everybody wants to be the hero of their own story. Some need a surrogate because they can't escape their own insecurities any other way. There are many reasons to lead a "vicarious" life through a good tale. Most of them are perfectly good reasons. If our protagonist is charismatic and his internal dialogue is brief but poignant, if your social commentary comes across as "heroic action" both overt and covert, then your reader will begin to identify. I think you have both the depth and eloquence to pull that off. That's how you set the hook and start to reel us in.

"I'm already trying to be mindful of keeping just how many things happen in a single day realistic. For a basic non-spoiler run down of a typical day in the game:

• go to college and have some conversations with some people
• maybe one story "event" happens during college
• go home, have some conversations with the family
• another story "event" in the evening (maybe a trip to a bar, something like that)
• potentially end the day on a lewd scene"

That's a great outline for a day's events. Of course, IRL, some days are less full than others. Just don't get stuck in a pattern. The overall length of time the story takes place over matters less than the sense of a natural flow of time and events. There is nothing more irksome and immersion breaking than a nightly internal dialogue with the MC about what happened today and what should happen tomorrow. Hell, Pippy Longstocking is like War and Peace compared to that writing style. Just keep in mind that you may want to show some passage of time in the course of events. If the entire story takes place in a matter of a few weeks this becomes much less of a necessity. Sometimes there is just a lot of shit goin' on...

"Animating with Daz can be infuriating..."

Yep. There are a lot of good devs who will offer advice and some can be very helpful. Put a disclaimer in your Dev Notes. Just be honest about your skill level. Mention you welcome advice and pointers. Definitely inform us all that you will upgrade your animations and bolster their numbers as you gain experience. As petty as some can be, most will be very forgiving of this. Especially given how good your renders are.

I'll check back from time to time to see how things are going for you. If you have a need or just a desire to bounce ideas or concerns off someone, feel free to DM me.