Bawdy Ink Slinger

Monster Girl Farmer
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Jun 1, 2017
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It doesn't help that I'm responding while sleep deprived, I was worried I wasn't making much sense writing that, I get cryptic when I'm tired. And don't worry, you aren't coming off as defensive.
This is a gentle reminder to let me know your thoughts when you're less sleep deprived :)

I get you don't like that it's disconnected, but I don't get why you dislike that it's disconnected. Little one-off scenes don't seem innately bad to me.
 
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Bawdy Ink Slinger

Monster Girl Farmer
Game Developer
Jun 1, 2017
356
490
For example, when you have the twins interact with each other at night in the sensory deprivation masks, you show the direct corruption of the 3rd girl that is there with them due to her being in proximity, then watching intently, and finally interacting with the twins as the corruption nears completion on her... Yet when you did the foot play scene in the classroom (in plain view of everyone else in the room) and as it turned very erotic and naughty, there was no "corruption" or "effects" from it on anyone else. It felt like an "isolated" incident and comes off as "disjointed" because it didn't feel connected to anything else that happened in that class at that time as no one else "noticed" or was "affected" by it in any way even though they were literally right there.
That makes sense for that story. It's annoyingly unrealistic in that regard and I should really fix it. But I can't think of how the same reasoning applies to the Olivia/Mia scenes. The sexual ones happen when they're by themselves in the dorm. It doesn't seem more realistic for others to be affected by it. Corruption doesn't belong there because Olivia has always had a crush on Mia. She's always wanted to domme her.

I think what would really help me with regards to the Olivia/Mia problem are some examples of what s/he wish would have happened in them compared to what did happen.
 
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DragonWrath

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That makes sense for that story. It's annoyingly unrealistic in that regard and I should really fix it. But I can't think of how the same reasoning applies to the Olivia/Mia scenes. The sexual ones happen when they're by themselves in the dorm. It doesn't seem more realistic for others to be affected by it. Corruption doesn't belong there because Olivia has always had a crush on Mia. She's always wanted to domme her.

I think what would really help me with regards to the Olivia/Mia problem are some examples of what s/he wish would have happened in them compared to what did happen.
Yeah, I agree... That was the part I couldn't figure out what s/he meant exactly. I need to play the new update but as far as I can recall from memory, the only thing that really comes to mind would likely be the cafeteria bit but I don't think that's what s/he was talking about. I'm (currently) at a loss for that.
 

DragonWrath

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I think what would really help me with regards to the Olivia/Mia problem are some examples of what s/he wish would have happened in them compared to what did happen.
On reading it again (twice), I think I figured out what their issue was. It's that there's very little to no interactions with anyone else whatsoever. There are multiple scenes with those 2, yet it always seems to be JUST those 2, and they never interact with anyone else. Like it might be rather difficult to believe that Olivia would abandon her clique that quickly and suddenly have 0 interactions with them anymore what so ever, nor would they completely ignore the cafeteria scene (unless all of them also had the deprivation masks). It feels like it's a different story being forced into the larger story rather than feeling like they are of the same story. In the private areas, it makes perfect sense, but in the more public areas, it feels disconnected from the rest of what's happening... That MIGHT be what they meant by the "Olivia/Mia" issue. Though I'm not positive and I can't speak for them, but that is what I'm taking from what they say.
 

Gomly1980

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Jul 4, 2017
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From what very little I remember about my time at school (it was quite a while ago) all interactions were disconnected.

It's very rare we all gathered up and everyone got involved with things outside of what we were told to. We all had our own friends and we all did our own things

With regards to the foot scene it was a paired exercise, there is absolutely no reason anyone else would have been involved.

From what I can gather Mia and Olivia like each other although Olivia seems to have a reputation to keep up but it would be hard to progress anything with those two if it was infront of other people.

Sometimes things need to be disconnected.
 

Bawdy Ink Slinger

Monster Girl Farmer
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Jun 1, 2017
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On reading it again (twice), I think I figured out what their issue was. It's that there's very little to no interactions with anyone else whatsoever. There are multiple scenes with those 2, yet it always seems to be JUST those 2, and they never interact with anyone else. Like it might be rather difficult to believe that Olivia would abandon her clique that quickly and suddenly have 0 interactions with them anymore what so ever, nor would they completely ignore the cafeteria scene (unless all of them also had the deprivation masks). It feels like it's a different story being forced into the larger story rather than feeling like they are of the same story. In the private areas, it makes perfect sense, but in the more public areas, it feels disconnected from the rest of what's happening... That MIGHT be what they meant by the "Olivia/Mia" issue. Though I'm not positive and I can't speak for them, but that is what I'm taking from what they say.
Gotcha, that makes sense. I can work with this to add some more color to those scenes.
 
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Bawdy Ink Slinger

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Jun 1, 2017
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With regards to the foot scene it was a paired exercise, there is absolutely no reason anyone else would have been involved.
It's great to hear a differing opinion. Since you didn't mention it explicitly, just wanted to check that you've played the scenes in question.

I still think there should be some student interaction in the foot scene. Not like they join in or anything, but that they notice how weird the pair is acting. I wrote it a while ago, but if I recall, there are at least some loud giggling going on. I think some students would turn their head at that.
 
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Gomly1980

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It's great to hear a differing opinion. Since you didn't mention it explicitly, just wanted to check that you've played the scenes in question.

I still think there should be some student interaction in the foot scene. Not like they join in or anything, but that they notice how weird the pair is acting. I wrote it a while ago, but if I recall, there are at least some loud giggling going on. I think some students would turn their head at that.
I have played it, yes.

I took it for granted that they would have had glances their way with the noise they were making but we've all been caught up in a moment and you don't really care if anyone notices what you are doing.

I'm an awful writer so i'm the last person to tell you how you should or shouldn't go about things I just didn't notice anything odd about that scene. Outside of glances and with the teachers stood there I don't think anyone else would get involved in a scenario like that, all the other students know what goes on in that school so things like that aren't really out of the ordinary.

I'd go as far as saying that's pretty tame compared to most things that happen so wouldn't really be a big deal at all.

With regards to Mia and Olivia, there does seem to be an attraction there (correct me if i'm wrong) from both parties, although more from Mia, but Olivia acts one way infront of her group and another when they are alone. I'm struggling to see how you could go anywhere with that story if Olivia was always with her group, it just wouldn't work. Like I said, some things need to be disconnected to make progress.
 
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Ever played Skyrim?
Ever become the friggin Arch Mage, head honcho of that warrior guild thingy, or a war hero? Did it ever bug you that the people still treated you as a homeless fuck in their ambient reaction or just plain ignored your magnificent presence, although they should extol your great personage?

People just like seeing the consequences of their choices. Although having nobody react to public sex in school IS a reaction, too. It shows that everyone has become jaded.
 

Bawdy Ink Slinger

Monster Girl Farmer
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Jun 1, 2017
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Ever played Skyrim?
Ever become the friggin Arch Mage, head honcho of that warrior guild thingy, or a war hero? Did it ever bug you that the people still treated you as a homeless fuck in their ambient reaction or just plain ignored your magnificent presence, although they should extol your great personage?

People just like seeing the consequences of their choices. Although having nobody react to public sex in school IS a reaction, too. It shows that everyone has become jaded.
Yeah that's easy to understand and address. The game is a WIP and the foot fetish scene is a dead end, currently. But somehow I got the sense that the comment was about how there was no ambient action during the scene itself. I'm not hearing, "I wish this made a difference later". I'm hearing, "I wish this had an effect during."

Using your analogy:
A dragon attacks the town and while you're fighting it, some guard tells you to move along.
 
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DragonWrath

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Yeah that's easy to understand and address. The game is a WIP and the foot fetish scene is a dead end, currently. But somehow I got the sense that the comment was about how there was no ambient action during the scene itself. I'm not hearing, "I wish this made a difference later". I'm hearing, "I wish this had an effect during."

Using your analogy:
A dragon attacks the town and while you're fighting it, some guard tells you to move along.
I would actually love to see both, however I don't want to influence (push) you one way or another as I'd rather see you put your ideas and thoughts (so to speak) then once you get the bulk of it down and made, to go back and improve on the others as this way you have a foundation that you could connect to... The drawback is if it creates a large enough influence that may cause you to have to rewrite a few scenes.
 

tarzan999

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Aug 11, 2016
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Ever played Skyrim?
Ever become the friggin Arch Mage, head honcho of that warrior guild thingy, or a war hero? Did it ever bug you that the people still treated you as a homeless fuck in their ambient reaction or just plain ignored your magnificent presence, although they should extol your great personage?

People just like seeing the consequences of their choices. Although having nobody react to public sex in school IS a reaction, too. It shows that everyone has become jaded.
The npc's did that cause Skyrim is a shitty game that has the depth of a puddle, and the worst storyline and characters ever.
 
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Bawdy Ink Slinger

Monster Girl Farmer
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Jun 1, 2017
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The npc's did that cause Skyrim is a shitty game that has the depth of a puddle, and the worst storyline and characters ever.
I enjoyed Skyrim until everything got easy. But when things got easy, I thought the game was shallow. I feel like the previous games had better quests. "I feel like the previous games had better quests," is what I say for every new Bethesda game :(
 

Gomly1980

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Skyrim killed the magic system.

Being able to create your own spells was the best part of Elder Scrolls games until Skyrim went super casual, and this is coming from a guy that hates the term "casual". Skyrim "streamlined" so much it killed what made the previous elder scrolls great. Oblivion had a horrible levelling system but everything else worked, Skyrim just fell short at so many hurdles.

The one advantage Skyrim has over previous games is it's mods. There are some amazing mods that I need to use to make it enjoyable.
 

seden

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Aug 22, 2016
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Something who would be good :
A repertory as to have data as to each characters.
As it is, details are given each at a time, which is not that efficient as to imagination (visualisation).
 
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