VN Ren'Py Ecstasy's Eclipse v.0.0.1 Public Demo by Yazen (Android & PC)

[Yazen_]

First thing, I don't understand why such a heavy blur on the title screen. One of the reasons I even decided to download it (normally I wait until at least a .04 release cause I want a decent amount of content) was because the image on the top of the thread had some neat girl designs and your hiding that behind this blur. I imagine its the help the title splash stand out but there are better ways to do that in my opinion.

Yeah, it was made to highlight the title of the game. I'll be changing the title screen entirely since some of the girls designs have been slightly changed anyway.

Undecided on if this is a good or bad thing but the girl in the tutorial, Yazzy, reminds me of Micheal Jackson...

I've unironically heard about this like 5 times already, I'll probably just change the entire model while keeping the same body type.

I've noticed this in a few other games, but the way the guy looks when hes slightly hunched over looks like hes trying to suck his gut in all the way. Just looks odd. Not sure how easy this would be to fix but probably worth looking into.

Alright I'm taking note of this. It's probably because I was using the studio inefficiently when I made it, I'm still pretty much new to making these scenes. (2 months in)

Obviously, needs a bit of editing. The wording can be quite strange.

Can you point out which dialogue or wording did you find strange? And is there any solution you can offer?

 

[Yazen_]

+ Updated the thread and included thumbnails to showcase my girls with their updated designs!

I might release the third and final demo sometime this year and that should at least include a good chunk of the game!

 

[desmosome]

No time to play it, but it seems like you want to do a corruption of the male MC type of story. It's very very rare, so if done well, it could be a unique twist on the typical harem situation. A good guy MC who initially resisted some corruptive force or situation gradually succumbing to the allure of the power trip and lustful influence as the story progresses. As he becomes more comfortable with morally ambiguous or downright evil actions, he will corrupt the girls around him into depravity.

Anyways, I dunno what your original vision was, but you need to decide if you will stick to it or bend to the whims of anyone who has a word to say. As you can tell, many harem fans actually don't enjoy dark or kinky shit. Some are okay with dark MCs as long as he is hogging all the bitches, but a lot more of them are geared towards romance and are not comfortable half the things you've already written about in this thread.

So you can either do whatever you wanted, or try to water down your ideas to please the potential player base that are averse to darker themes (not even talking about NTR, but like corruption/dub-con/drugs/prostitution/camwhor/etc). Just be aware that you may change a few things to make it more palatable for vanilla players, but you will never satisfy all of them with the plot premise you outlined, so what's the point? Just write a story you want and the people who want to play it will play it. That's all.

 

[Yazen_]

Anyways, I dunno what your original vision was, but you need to decide if you will stick to it or bend to the whims of anyone who has a word to say.

The original vision was pretty much the same although kind of immature. The main character gets corrupted and in turn corrupts everyone else around him. Not much story behind it besides that he's got some big bad drug lord he's gonna be going up against.

Right now the main character has a pretty normal but otherwise good life going on for him. Charismatic and pulls people around him. Unlike before, he's gained a character I'm planning to stick with despite him being "corrupted". He will meet someone that will in turn change his perspective or otherwise just broaden it. He'll become more accepting of doing immoral things because he's been forced into situations necessary to be able to help those people. In which he starts developing his dominant character.

I'm pretty sure many people will get really confused because I haven't stated this in any of the overviews I've provided but this is also a Sci-fantasy story. Meaning that some fantasy-esque stuff may occur in the story.

But I'd also explain it now for the sake of those people who don't like dark stuff. No the MC won't force anyone into his will. Although I do want to use consent sparingly, I've made the main character be able to understand someone's feelings or emotions. He's emotionally intelligent or you can call it his powers however you want.

not even talking about NTR, but like corruption/dub-con/drugs/prostitution/camwhor/etc

About this, corruption is only the main thing applied to pretty much every character in the story. Maybe dub-con depending on your perspective. The drug part isn't gonna play a major role into the MC's story but how it affects him and the people around him. Prostitution will only appear on NPC females. Camwhore will appear on one supporting character.

.

But anyways, It's still pretty unclear right now because I'm sort of writing a complex story and I'm well aware that this may take a while to develop in which I'm willingly dedicating my time and effort to. I'm not gonna throw everything all at once at the wall and see what sticks.

I'll plan carefully on how to pace the story and present it to the audience as an otherwise normal and pretty wholesome story but eventually, they will have to see the dark side of the town as the MC sees it, and they will be the hero of their own story.

Also the corruption thing, it'll most likely boil down to him and his girls having a lot of sex while retaining their personalities. No mind breaking (at least literally).

And oh, the drama. This won't be harem straight off the bat. There will be some sort of competition among the girls then eventually the MC will develop his feelings for one girl. The other will back off for a while but decides to stick around and not give up unknowingly that the main girl doesn't mind sharing at all although she doesn't explicitly says it.

.

Alright sorry for the yap xD I've been planning and writing down things for a very long time it grew like this, I'm getting to work again as soon as my exams finishes.

 

[desmosome]

The original vision was pretty much the same although kind of immature. The main character gets corrupted and in turn corrupts everyone else around him. Not much story behind it besides that he's got some big bad drug lord he's gonna be going up against.

Right now the main character has a pretty normal but otherwise good life going on for him. Charismatic and pulls people around him. Unlike before, he's gained a character I'm planning to stick with despite him being "corrupted". He will meet someone that will in turn change his perspective or otherwise just broaden it. He'll become more accepting of doing immoral things because he's been forced into situations necessary to be able to help those people. In which he starts developing his dominant character.

I'm pretty sure many people will get really confused because I haven't stated this in any of the overviews I've provided but this is also a Sci-fantasy story. Meaning that some fantasy-esque stuff may occur in the story.

But I'd also explain it now for the sake of those people who don't like dark stuff. No the MC won't force anyone into his will. Although I do want to use consent sparingly, I've made the main character be able to understand someone's feelings or emotions. He's emotionally intelligent or you can call it his powers however you want.


About this, corruption is only the main thing applied to pretty much every character in the story. Maybe dub-con depending on your perspective. The drug part isn't gonna play a major role into the MC's story but how it affects him and the people around him. Prostitution will only appear on NPC females. Camwhore will appear on one supporting character.

.

But anyways, It's still pretty unclear right now because I'm sort of writing a complex story and I'm well aware that this may take a while to develop in which I'm willingly dedicating my time and effort to. I'm not gonna throw everything all at once at the wall and see what sticks.

I'll plan carefully on how to pace the story and present it to the audience as an otherwise normal and pretty wholesome story but eventually, they will have to see the dark side of the town as the MC sees it, and they will be the hero of their own story.

Also the corruption thing, it'll most likely boil down to him and his girls having a lot of sex while retaining their personalities. No mind breaking (at least literally).

And oh, the drama. This won't be harem straight off the bat. There will be some sort of competition among the girls then eventually the MC will develop his feelings for one girl. The other will back off for a while but decides to stick around and not give up unknowingly that the main girl doesn't mind sharing at all although she doesn't explicitly says it.

.

Alright sorry for the yap xD I've been planning and writing down things for a very long time it grew like this, I'm getting to work again as soon as my exams finishes.

Cool cool.

Perhaps my read on the situation is wrong, but it just feels like you are frantically explaining why this potentially darker theme is actually not so bad for vanilla guys. But if straddling that line between hardcore and good guy harem is your jam, then by all means. Good luck.

 

[Yazen_]

Cool cool.

Perhaps my read on the situation is wrong, but it just feels like you are frantically explaining why this potentially darker theme is actually not so bad for vanilla guys. But if straddling that line between hardcore and good guy harem is your jam, then by all means. Good luck.

Thanks in the end of the day, this is all said by word, we'll see when the game comes out.

 

[desmosome]

Thanks in the end of the day, this is all said by word, we'll see when the game comes out.

Just a thought. Pale Carnations is one of those games with a relatable and generally good guy MC in a situation that tests his morality. And there are dark themes but they don't just overshadow the girls' characterizations. The writing is one of the highest caliber on this site though, so it's a bit hard to pull off something like that.

 

[Yazen_]

Just a thought. Pale Carnations is one of those games with a relatable and generally good guy MC in a situation that tests his morality. And there are dark themes but they don't just overshadow the girls' characterizations. The writing is one of the highest caliber on this site though, so it's a bit hard to pull off something like that.

Indeed, I've played it before and I loved it. The other game I'm playing rn is Cosy Cafe by Cosy Creator which makes a good reference for the character I'm trying to write. I've played a lot of harem games and corruption games and I guess over the years I've nitpicked way too much about the things I don't like about how certain MCs respond towards the scenarios thrown at them.

But then again, my vision may or may not resonate with other people. I just want to create a game or story where I could feel like I'd be living the dream while still experiencing day to day struggles, mundane things, and finding new adventures no matter how crazy they'd be.

I'm personally passionate about writing and making fun stuff. If it's hard to pull off, there's no stopping me from continuing and making it better until I think it's solid enough.

 

[| Vee |]

I played the demo and liked it quite alot.

Spoiler: Will mention something's on which you can work on.

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That's all I've to say. It was goodand I liked the characters Yazen_

 

[Yazen_]

I played the demo and liked it quite alot.

Spoiler: Will mention something's on which you can work on.

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That's all I've to say. It was goodand I liked the characters Yazen_

Thank you! I appreciate your review and criticisms! Yeah I'll pay extra attention on my poses next time along with the dialogue

 

[Yazen_]

Thread updated: Android port available. You may now be able to play the game in mobile.

 

[Jaike]

Lmk what you think

Okay, I knew it wasn't really my genre, but since you requested feedback. I gave it a try.

It looked like a competent attempt for a first VN. Nice HS2 work. I didn't see any issues with the English that needed to be mentioned. And I thought the menu looked really good. The intro for it was very nice too. That's a keeper.

Yazzy reminded me of Michael Jackson too. The prologue with her worked well, it was a bit like the old Rainy Day. The other scene was an incest scene without context, I can't say the writing impressed me, but incest isn't a kink I care about and I didn't see anything that was bad for the genre. So I think you're good there. I don't know how much you plan to add for the first release, but I think you need 15 min of content more at the minimum.

I'll prolly check in again once there's bdsm. See if I like how that's done. Good luck.

I've just looked at his history and... what the fuck? Broken keyboard maybe

xmilteach actually has around 300 posts that aren't "thx"... and most of those still say "Thanks.." Probably a KISS approach to communication.

 

[Yazen_]

Okay, I knew it wasn't really my genre, but since you requested feedback. I gave it a try.

It looked like a competent attempt for a first VN. Nice HS2 work. I didn't see any issues with the English that needed to be mentioned. And I thought the menu looked really good. The intro for it was very nice too. That's a keeper.

Yazzy reminded me of Michael Jackson too. The prologue with her worked well, it was a bit like the old Rainy Day. The other scene was an incest scene without context, I can't say the writing impressed me, but incest isn't a kink I care about and I didn't see anything that was bad for the genre. So I think you're good there. I don't know how much you plan to add for the first release, but I think you need 15 min of content more at the minimum.

I'll prolly check in again once there's bdsm. See if I like how that's done. Good luck.


xmilteach actually has around 300 posts that aren't "thx"... and most of those still say "Thanks.." Probably a KISS approach to communication.

Thanks for the feedback! I appreciate it

The first release v0.1 would probably contain with a goal of at least 2 hours of content. Since I plan on releasing updates quarterly with the same content consistency.

I think it should be up to at least the start of the MC's corruption. Some side stuff for NPC girls, as well as a side-story for one of the main girls.

But yeah, it'll be a while for me to release the game because I want to have a 3 update headstart before I publish the game and then we'll see from there.

 

[Yazen_]

Hey Yazen! First of all congratulations in advance you're creating a master piece and I believe it will gonna be a blast!!! ✔
Even though content is so little I really love every second, graphics is amazing, lis looks great, AND the most important thing MC!!! MC really looks so cool and I hope there will be some action scenes, 'cause it'll be a shame if all those muscles will not on action, well I can't write an essay about your game and I usually suck at explaining, but all I can say is that your is really amazing, well I don't want this to happen to you but there will always be haters so don't pay much attention for those who criticise your game but sometimes haters can make you learn something new, that's all I have to say good luck with your journey man love you.❤❤❤ #no homo.

Yes, rest assured, there will be action scenes coming up in the story like hand to hand combat scenes, maybe some gun fighting, raid & rescue, and a bunch of other stuff depending on how I believe things would play out.

Though that's still far off the story but it will come. And if time allows it, and I'm able to develop my game into its full potential, there's no doubt that the cast will grow and change overtime. I want to make it as organic as I could and be a rollercoaster of a story.

The story and game will mature ovetime.

 

[Yazen_]

54 downloads? INSANE

Rn still pretty busy but I'm playing around with my studio renders here and there~ Can't wait to get back to work

 

[mario01]

share it let me translate it into Spanish and pass it on to the social networks

 

[Mountain Guy]

am following u brother. One request all I need is thicc thighs and big booty (just not too overly big) ☠ btw am loving the character portraits'

 

[Mountain Guy]

ok played this Yazen_, There are some errors in the action scenes but I believe an uncle (vee) mentioned that (am jk dude).
To what extent the characters were displayed they look incredible I especially enjoyed that coomer scene with yazzy she looks good. 1st request, do include some girls or a girl with short hair and a slutty outfit or a non slutty outfit (I would probably prefer a leopard print slingshot slutty outfit or u can add some other), 2nd request do increase the butt size (I did mention that I love big booty and thicc thighs) cause it makes the character look weird like they have these huge bonkers in front but as soon as the scene changes to showing off their side profile bro the girls were as flat as a wall even the mc was thiccer than them (even my behind bonkers are thiccer bro jk But they really be like a bakery ) so please do improve on that cause it removes or extinguishes all the fun as soon as the side view becomes clear am crying over that. And I would like to complement that even tho u are just 2 months in that hs2 software thing u have done a good job. I would like to state some elements that would make the story which is to come by in future really good (first I expect a reply LOL) till then I will think of some more, Btw can u do something abt the blur or the unruled or should I say abt those unfinished like character texture around the edges/ their borders is it possible or that hs2 software gives the output like that idk very much abt these things yet but if possible can u please refine them I request u humbly my liege. Other than that in those lil 1 min of gameplay the game is looking good. (WHEN IS MORE CONTENT COMING TELL ME TELL ME!!!!!)

 

[Yazen_]

share it let me translate it into Spanish and pass it on to the social networks

Wow, thanks! I appreciate your willingness to help out translate my game. I think it'd be great eventually to have

 

[Yazen_]

ok played this Yazen_, There are some errors in the action scenes but I believe an uncle (vee) mentioned that (am jk dude).
To what extent the characters were displayed they look incredible I especially enjoyed that coomer scene with yazzy she looks good. 1st request, do include some girls or a girl with short hair and a slutty outfit or a non slutty outfit (I would probably prefer a leopard print slingshot slutty outfit or u can add some other), 2nd request do increase the butt size (I did mention that I love big booty and thicc thighs) cause it makes the character look weird like they have these huge bonkers in front but as soon as the scene changes to showing off their side profile bro the girls were as flat as a wall even the mc was thiccer than them (even my behind bonkers are thiccer bro jk But they really be like a bakery ) so please do improve on that cause it removes or extinguishes all the fun as soon as the side view becomes clear am crying over that. And I would like to complement that even tho u are just 2 months in that hs2 software thing u have done a good job. I would like to state some elements that would make the story which is to come by in future really good (first I expect a reply LOL) till then I will think of some more, Btw can u do something abt the blur or the unruled or should I say abt those unfinished like character texture around the edges/ their borders is it possible or that hs2 software gives the output like that idk very much abt these things yet but if possible can u please refine them I request u humbly my liege. Other than that in those lil 1 min of gameplay the game is looking good. (WHEN IS MORE CONTENT COMING TELL ME TELL ME!!!!!)

Nice! I'm actually glad you pointed out the butt thing. I haven't noticed till now but they did look flat despite how I much I tried to give them wide hips and thicc butts. Don't worry, I'll be fixing them accordingly for the next few days.

(This one I just fixed)​

About the character designs though, I did try to make a variety of body types for the girls that I'll be showing in the story.

There's some chub ones like the one I just showed you, a boob girl, a butt girl, sometimes both, a sporty chick, a thick thigh girl, a slender one, a slim one with huge boobs, a shortstack with massive front and back, an hourglass figure, a small chest girl with big butt etcetera..

So yeah, I'll rework their body shapes a bit more to give them the right size for their bodies.

About the outfits, I'll also be working on my own clothes library that I can use for my characters so there's no worrying about plain clothes and underwear.

I would like to state some elements that would make the story which is to come by in future really good (first I expect a reply LOL) till then I will think of some more

Oh? well do shoot your ideas, I may be able to pick up a few things I like.

Btw can u do something abt the blur or the unruled or should I say abt those unfinished like character texture around the edges/ their borders is it possible or that hs2 software gives the output like

About the edges that seem unfinished, it's entirely on the HS2 software, it's not like Daz where the meshes are at high poly with refined textures, maybe I just haven't explored enough to know but right now this is the best quality I can provide, I render my images in 3k but I do have to compress them to 1080p and in WEBP so that they can fit the renpy game engine.