It's easy to criticize major aspects of the game. Obviously the story telling could be better, much better.
The female protagonist belongs to the category "fugly" as soon as her face is involved.
But as far as I know the dev is a newbie. And taking this into account: we've seen much worse (I have a list of more than 60 titles I've tried and rated them bad enough to never ever try them again).
And I see quite some potential. The graphics are not that bad in the beginning (even then: good poses) and improves later.
The sex material is above average! Nice surprise
And it seems the straight forward plot is created intentionally. Not what I prefer, but can be good sometimes. And some players even prefer it that way.
So, for me the most important thing for improvement are the dialogues.
Obviously the plot is a similar one to Dreams of Desire, but as an extremely lightweight version.
So, since the story arc isn't suitable to surprise/impress players (no chance to even come close to DoD), the dialogues have to become more entertaining.
I saw a good line every now and then, but also skipped a lot of generic texts.
What always works wonders: funny scenes (I mean, clever humor). Maybe devs takes a look into Dreaming of Dana for some examples of situation comedy.
The harder way: upgrade the story plot to something more epic.
But that would be a drastically change to the existing game ... I don't recommend doing this, at least not with this game, maybe for the next one.
All in all: an so-so average game, but I think it's likely dev will become more experienced and improves his writing (of arc and dialogues).