- Nov 18, 2016
- 4,156
- 9,369
You're missing the NTR tag. (Where MC's body is stolen from him by lust and well used while he watches helpless).
This is from visiting the Psych classroom on the 2nd day you have free roam at college. You should say Psych students not Psycho students unless you are deliberately referring them as crazy, off the rails etc.
- Apr 21, 2022
- 71
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- Apr 21, 2022
- 71
- 189
Okay, I understand ! First things first, thanks for the constructive criticisms. I worked on Seven Sins for a year and a half now, with zero to none feedbacks. I really appreciate them.
I'll think about something to ease the pathing during those moments. Not gonna lie, I'm learning code on my own, and sandbox gameplay is complicated.
- Aug 30, 2020
- 29
- 18
there's a lot more in this release than i expected, pleasantly surprised! 2 things tho:
I did all the side content, so a later event made sense, but if I didn't, would things change?
what country is this intended to take place in? I originally thought the US, but Molly threw me off a bit. not necessary, just interesting to know
I did all the side content, so a later event made sense, but if I didn't, would things change?
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Some suggestions/feedback:
1-Change the images where the MC suddenly turns black. We're all used in real porn games to have different male MCs. We understand that male porn actors are hard to find in a consistent way, so as long as your female images are consistent we usually don't mind the male MC. But having him switch races sometimes breaks immersion too much. Stick with one race (whichever you prefer to use, tbh).
2-Some walls of text are too big. This is not a suggestion for you to cut down on word count. Some devs prefer a fuller story with more words and that's fine. But you should break the text into more pages. Also keep the text consistent. Most of the time you have the dialog boxes for each character but sometimes you switch to a pic on the left and a wall of text on the right. That makes it harder to follow. It's easier to read when you keep to the dialog box format.
3-The whole linkreplace thing is something I personally don't appreciate. If you make a choice, just bring us to a new page, rather than continue increasing the wall of text. This is especially more annoying when you want to rollback and choose something else (or even just save/load later) because you have to scroll to the bottom, sometimes a lot.
4-In the characters panel, make the link open when we click the image as well. At first I didn't even realize that anything opened.
5-As I suggested before, when in free-roam mode (part of the story, not the free-roam where you click on the left menu), add some marker/note to show which places will advance the story or change the character positions so we can visit all the places that don't first.
6- Don't keep hidden variables that aren't mentioned anywhere and have impact on the game. I'm mostly talking about the chaos variable.
Other than that, I actually think you have a great foundation for the game. The story is interesting and if you fix some of the issues you can have a really good game in your hands. Keep up the good work.
1-Change the images where the MC suddenly turns black. We're all used in real porn games to have different male MCs. We understand that male porn actors are hard to find in a consistent way, so as long as your female images are consistent we usually don't mind the male MC. But having him switch races sometimes breaks immersion too much. Stick with one race (whichever you prefer to use, tbh).
2-Some walls of text are too big. This is not a suggestion for you to cut down on word count. Some devs prefer a fuller story with more words and that's fine. But you should break the text into more pages. Also keep the text consistent. Most of the time you have the dialog boxes for each character but sometimes you switch to a pic on the left and a wall of text on the right. That makes it harder to follow. It's easier to read when you keep to the dialog box format.
3-The whole linkreplace thing is something I personally don't appreciate. If you make a choice, just bring us to a new page, rather than continue increasing the wall of text. This is especially more annoying when you want to rollback and choose something else (or even just save/load later) because you have to scroll to the bottom, sometimes a lot.
4-In the characters panel, make the link open when we click the image as well. At first I didn't even realize that anything opened.
5-As I suggested before, when in free-roam mode (part of the story, not the free-roam where you click on the left menu), add some marker/note to show which places will advance the story or change the character positions so we can visit all the places that don't first.
6- Don't keep hidden variables that aren't mentioned anywhere and have impact on the game. I'm mostly talking about the chaos variable.
Other than that, I actually think you have a great foundation for the game. The story is interesting and if you fix some of the issues you can have a really good game in your hands. Keep up the good work.
The game would benefit greatly from cleaning up the grammatical errors (predominantly the very consistent issues with tenses of verbs, which are wrong in nearly half of the sentences).
I am also perplexed by the use of a dozen still images, rather than a video clip or two, for scenes. Especially when the stills are clearly taken from a video clip in the first place. It feels clunky, and ineffective.
Aside from those two issues, this would be a very compelling project - There is a lot to like about the package. Unfortunately, for me at least, those are two pretty significant deductions.
I am also perplexed by the use of a dozen still images, rather than a video clip or two, for scenes. Especially when the stills are clearly taken from a video clip in the first place. It feels clunky, and ineffective.
Aside from those two issues, this would be a very compelling project - There is a lot to like about the package. Unfortunately, for me at least, those are two pretty significant deductions.
This was nice. yeah some proofreading is needed but i've seen a lot worse from other html games. keep it up
- Mar 13, 2018
- 303
- 170
The description of the game was interesting & intrigued me, so I had to give it a try. When I started the game (in the Prologue), the constant errors I was seeing from misspelled words, missing words that should be in a sentence (to allow it to make sense), & the repeated words like in the intro description of Sloth where ye used the word 'this' instead of using the correct word 'his' & ended up with a double 'this this' when speaking of him.
These errors (which could easily be fixed with someone proof-reading your work) are what constantly broke the immersion for me as I constantly had to stop to adjust the sentence I had read to allow me to continue with the story. Sadly it got to the point where I was too irritated to continue playing & couldn't even finish the Prologue due to this. Yes I tend to not use correct grammar when I write but I do spell correctly (unless it is intentional that I don't, like the way I use the word 'ye' in place of 'you'), so it annoys me greatly when I try to get into a story with so much misspelled words that even a simple spell-checker (which is standard in most document writing programs) could easily fix.
Ye have what looks like a great game but it lacks the proof-reading of what most of the other HTML Games available already have during their demo or 0.1 version. I'd very much like to play it again when these problems are fixed that the immersion can go smoothly.
As for the pics that I had witnessed, they were done nicely. The size was also a plus for me considering this is already into the second chapter.
Overall Point: Ye have what looks to be a great HTML Game in the making, but ye seriously need to look into getting a person to proof-read your work BEFORE ye upload it.
These errors (which could easily be fixed with someone proof-reading your work) are what constantly broke the immersion for me as I constantly had to stop to adjust the sentence I had read to allow me to continue with the story. Sadly it got to the point where I was too irritated to continue playing & couldn't even finish the Prologue due to this. Yes I tend to not use correct grammar when I write but I do spell correctly (unless it is intentional that I don't, like the way I use the word 'ye' in place of 'you'), so it annoys me greatly when I try to get into a story with so much misspelled words that even a simple spell-checker (which is standard in most document writing programs) could easily fix.
Ye have what looks like a great game but it lacks the proof-reading of what most of the other HTML Games available already have during their demo or 0.1 version. I'd very much like to play it again when these problems are fixed that the immersion can go smoothly.
As for the pics that I had witnessed, they were done nicely. The size was also a plus for me considering this is already into the second chapter.
Overall Point: Ye have what looks to be a great HTML Game in the making, but ye seriously need to look into getting a person to proof-read your work BEFORE ye upload it.
Really needs a native English speaker to go over the text.
A better UI would be nice.
The save size being dependent on size of text seems weird.
Controllable text size would be good.
Add ability to rename saves so you can tell which path you have selected on which one.
Have text sit on a background it can stand out on, or different color/shadows/outlines. Blue text on gray as you have is almost unreadable.
The increases of stats are nice and all, but them put weird large spacing on the page. Why not have it as a pop over or something that goes away?
Decreasing numbers should not be the same color as increasing. Sure you can keep trust as Green, but there are dark and light shades of green which can separate them. Also it isn't great for color blind people.
That text between the characters isn't separated and is just one large color coded blob is hard to read.
As mentioned before having the MC change skin colors is not great.
When talking to lust in the park if you are on corrupt path and ask about the death, you skip anything previous.
You want to limit scrolling as much as possible so this fits well on pc and mobile.
A better UI would be nice.
The save size being dependent on size of text seems weird.
Controllable text size would be good.
Add ability to rename saves so you can tell which path you have selected on which one.
Have text sit on a background it can stand out on, or different color/shadows/outlines. Blue text on gray as you have is almost unreadable.
The increases of stats are nice and all, but them put weird large spacing on the page. Why not have it as a pop over or something that goes away?
Decreasing numbers should not be the same color as increasing. Sure you can keep trust as Green, but there are dark and light shades of green which can separate them. Also it isn't great for color blind people.
That text between the characters isn't separated and is just one large color coded blob is hard to read.
As mentioned before having the MC change skin colors is not great.
When talking to lust in the park if you are on corrupt path and ask about the death, you skip anything previous.
You want to limit scrolling as much as possible so this fits well on pc and mobile.
- Apr 21, 2022
- 71
- 189
Can't blame you, there are indeed lots of errors and mistakes. I'm already working on all prologue and chapter 1 content to fix everything. Someone kindly proposed help for proof-reading, which is good because I suck at that part. Just wait for next update, it won't add new content but revamp the previous ones, to match what I'm doing now : apart the grammar, my writing got way better after a year and a half.
- Apr 21, 2022
- 71
- 189
1 - Never realised that could be an immersion-break thing. When you mention the male images, I assume you're talking about the cinema teacher ? Can change that easily. But if it's about the video clips, it might be an issue to find equally good content for specific scene.
2 - 100% agreed, I abandonned the split screen walls of text around 0.5 and went dialog-box instead. Took me some time to find my real writing habits, but I think it's mostly good now.
3- Again, I agree. Main problem is my code knowledge : sometimes there re setups where linkreplace are the only way I know to implement variables. But as time goes, I use it less and less.
4- Same, when I created the character panel I didn't know how to do clickable images displaying passages. But that was originally an idea of mine, should work on it again.
5- I agree with that, working on it
6 - eeeerff, I understand what you mean, but I don't think I'll do that. It's done in conscience : main idea is make this variable visible for some sort of "ng+".
Again, thanks a lot for your feedbacks ! Can't say I'll change everything, but there definitely are greats ideas and critics here