HTML Abandoned Not Bedtime Stories [v0.18] [Erudosan]

4.00 star(s) 3 Votes
Discussion Reviews (3)
F

FlewFlow69

Newbie
Oct 24, 2017
63
145
I'm assuming the creator is relatively young, inexperienced, and probably not native to an English-speaking country. But it's a great start for sure.

I'd advise cutting down a bit some of the phrases used, as they're not very realistic or genuine. Like "entering her", asking someone if they "can take your virginity? Yes", and so on. Just try to make it a bit more casual, down-to-earth and realistic, and you've got something great going on.

Wish the creator/developer luck in future endeavors.
 
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sparton297

sparton297

Member
Oct 24, 2017
132
174
Definitely very promising. A few humble suggestions:
Consistency in performers.
Maybe instead of uploading webp files use gifs instead?
Might be good to take a little bit of time to iron out the spelling errors and grammar.

Think it might also be good to take an extra bit of time to plan out the storylines to make them a little more plausible. I get sucked out (hehe) pretty fast when it goes from 0-100.

Good luck with this project, I'm looking forward to more!
 
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Erudosan

Erudosan

Newbie
Game Developer
Apr 4, 2019
36
299
BWQX said:
The label on the outside has gay.There's no label inside.
Click to expand...
xxx_chris2018 said:
So for those looking for gay content (m/m), the tag is incorrect, there is 0 m/m content. There is trap and trans content, but there is no content of a cis man interacting sexually with a cis man, so if that's what you're looking for, you might want to skip this one.
Click to expand...
I removed the tag sorry for that
 
Erudosan

Erudosan

Newbie
Game Developer
Apr 4, 2019
36
299
sparton297 said:
Definitely very promising. A few humble suggestions:
Consistency in performers.
Maybe instead of uploading webp files use gifs instead?
Might be good to take a little bit of time to iron out the spelling errors and grammar.

Think it might also be good to take an extra bit of time to plan out the storylines to make them a little more plausible. I get sucked out (hehe) pretty fast when it goes from 0-100.

Good luck with this project, I'm looking forward to more!
Click to expand...
Yes, v0.1 stories are a bit mess for consistency but I tried to stay consistent in other updates thank you!
 
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Xrough

Xrough

Newbie
Oct 27, 2018
59
25
This's a HTML game, it should've separate update only, it's not Ren'py for ffkk sake..
 
FookU2

FookU2

Engaged Member
Jan 23, 2018
2,967
2,137
A Kinetic Novel in HTML, and using real porn, doesn't seem to me like it'd work that well. May be just my opinion, but that's just because all 3 of these things are things I try to avoid, usually. Sometimes, one of them can work out, but all 3 at once? lol
Don't look too much into my words, cause I'm sure there are people who may enjoy it.
 
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X

xxx_chris2018

Member
Oct 29, 2018
282
458
Erudosan said:
I removed the tag sorry for that
Click to expand...
That's okay, I appreciate it. Love the way you have it done though (although I agree with another user's comment that I might break it up into multiple screens). If you do ever add any m/m content, please slap the gay tag back on so that I can try it, I'd love to see what you come up with. Good luck either way!
 
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he_found_you

he_found_you

Member
Jun 11, 2017
280
386
The stories so far are good, not excellent but good enough that when coupled with nicely selected, albeit short media, gets hot very fast/ for all categories.
If I were you, I would arrange all stories not in versions *(keep the version next to each story rather than category version which makes little sense), but arrange them according to their category - trans/cuckold/etc. Maybe consider some shemale topping male stories for variety, but the package is very good.

In fact I had a similar idea many years ago but due to lazyness I never did it :) Congrats on the effort mate, well done! All paths are consistent with the selected fetish.
 
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Erudosan

Erudosan

Newbie
Game Developer
Apr 4, 2019
36
299
he_found_you said:
The stories so far are good, not excellent but good enough that when coupled with nicely selected, albeit short media, gets hot very fast/ for all categories.
If I were you, I would arrange all stories not in versions *(keep the version next to each story rather than category version which makes little sense), but arrange them according to their category - trans/cuckold/etc. Maybe consider some shemale topping male stories for variety, but the package is very good.

In fact I had a similar idea many years ago but due to lazyness I never did it :) Congrats on the effort mate, well done! All paths are consistent with the selected fetish.
Click to expand...
Thank you but from now on I'll update the game seperately so if someone wants to play just the newest stories they don't need to dowload the old ones.
 
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Space_Cow99

Space_Cow99

Member
Jul 26, 2019
362
205
Is there an online version when I downloaded it, html files video files failed.
I use firefox -> few files worked and not many many opened.
I kind wonder would you have doomsday prepper story?
Or something where escaping abroad with family? Without family. Options it makes me think...could you make this into rpg maker game?
 
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4.00 star(s) 3 Votes