Give you a five-star review for the models alone, great job with their design, and the main character looks handsome but not over the top bulky, I think I would prefer him to be a little skinnier but that's just personal preference.
One thing that I believe would elevate and suck more people into the story is a customizable first name. Not having this isn't enough to knock the game down a star but I would love to have that feature, to add some personalization to everyone's story.
You also have several points that look like they will lead to choices. such as the scene in the office and at your home before your trip, where you decide for the players what will happen. Either change this or mark this as a kinetic novel.
One thing that I believe would elevate and suck more people into the story is a customizable first name. Not having this isn't enough to knock the game down a star but I would love to have that feature, to add some personalization to everyone's story.
You also have several points that look like they will lead to choices. such as the scene in the office and at your home before your trip, where you decide for the players what will happen. Either change this or mark this as a kinetic novel.