CocoonStill

Formerly 'theJOman'
Dec 19, 2017
7
2
Was the AI module trained on Afrobull's art?
You can really see his art style on this.

edit: Also did they make the Azazel character have six fingers on purpose? I wouldn't go out of my way to ask AI to make hands look weird.
 
  • Wow
Reactions: XzerocokeX
Apr 3, 2020
31
32
In the images I notice a few where while the hands don't have 6 fingers, the one that should be a thumb is the longest finger of the hand
 

LGM

Active Member
Nov 22, 2018
550
628
This is pretty good so far. Though not without problems.

The voicing of the characters is quite good. I actually kept them on for this game, which I almost never do. Some lines in the early parts of the game get very quiet near the end though, especially for Azazel. Even a couple of her later ones seem to just stop short, turning 'teach' into 'tea', for example.

Some of the CG's are comically wrong in detail. I'm not talking about weird hands or anything like that. What I mean is MC cooking pasta and chicken for Josa and the CG showing her eating a sandwich. Another example is MC and Azazel running around the block and the CG showing a racetrack in the background.

The narration is mostly in present tense, but sometimes switches to past tense for no discernible reason.

After the choice during Phanta's first tutoring session, the MC's answer is not labeled as spoken by the MC (whichever answer you picked). The same thing happens later during the phonecall with Phanta.

At the end of Josa's second session, it seems like you walk her to the door, then after that you both agree to end the session. That's just weird.

Maybe I'm not hearing it right, but Josa's line, "C'mon, one more song!" is voiced as "C'mon, one per song!" (or something similar).

Finally, here's my rather thorough list of errors in the script. A large amount of these are missing punctuation, many of which are vocative commas. I actually went through everything this time, but no guarantees that I found everything.

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to seeing the rest.
 

Nuteku

Newbie
Game Developer
Jan 23, 2019
20
47
This is pretty good so far. Though not without problems.

The voicing of the characters is quite good. I actually kept them on for this game, which I almost never do. Some lines in the early parts of the game get very quiet near the end though, especially for Azazel. Even a couple of her later ones seem to just stop short, turning 'teach' into 'tea', for example.

Some of the CG's are comically wrong in detail. I'm not talking about weird hands or anything like that. What I mean is MC cooking pasta and chicken for Josa and the CG showing her eating a sandwich. Another example is MC and Azazel running around the block and the CG showing a racetrack in the background.

The narration is mostly in present tense, but sometimes switches to past tense for no discernible reason.

After the choice during Phanta's first tutoring session, the MC's answer is not labeled as spoken by the MC (whichever answer you picked). The same thing happens later during the phonecall with Phanta.

At the end of Josa's second session, it seems like you walk her to the door, then after that you both agree to end the session. That's just weird.

Maybe I'm not hearing it right, but Josa's line, "C'mon, one more song!" is voiced as "C'mon, one per song!" (or something similar).

Finally, here's my rather thorough list of errors in the script. A large amount of these are missing punctuation, many of which are vocative commas. I actually went through everything this time, but no guarantees that I found everything.

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to seeing the rest.
Thank you for the very, very, detailed feedback! I am just a one-person team so it's hard to catch dialogue errors since I wrote the dialogue and tend to gloss over my own errors. Definitely will improve upon and try to fix many of these in the next update, I appreciate you taking the time to be critical but constructive at the same time <3
 

BingoDingo123

Member
Jan 24, 2022
114
120
Oh, I see you have voice dialogue so early in production.. That's always a bad sign. Focusing on voice acting over gameplay or actually making art for the game is something that shouldn't be done.
 

BlasKyau

Conversation Conqueror
Jun 26, 2018
7,688
10,030
I hope the game doesn't have femdom, or that if it does we can avoid the LIs that have it.
 

Nuteku

Newbie
Game Developer
Jan 23, 2019
20
47
Art looks awesome! How much content is there on v0.1.1?
There's about an hour worth of content if you go through everything at a normal pace. In total, there's 10 events in total for each girl and one school event. Will definitely be a lot more content in future updates!
 
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Reactions: Slayerz

Slayerz

Active Member
Aug 2, 2017
597
2,225
There's about an hour worth of content if you go through everything at a normal pace. In total, there's 10 events in total for each girl and one school event. Will definitely be a lot more content in future updates!
10 events each! Woah normally there's 2-3 total event at that version :LOL:

I'll give it a shot thanks!
 

Nuteku

Newbie
Game Developer
Jan 23, 2019
20
47
10 events each! Woah normally there's 2-3 total event at that version :LOL:

I'll give it a shot thanks!
Oh, my wording was off! 10 events total between all girls, so each girl has like 4 events each. Sorry >_<

Hope you enjoy!!
 
  • Red Heart
Reactions: Slayerz

Slayerz

Active Member
Aug 2, 2017
597
2,225
There's about an hour worth of content if you go through everything at a normal pace. In total, there's 10 events in total for each girl and one school event. Will definitely be a lot more content in future updates!
Took a good hour indeed! Awesome work! I've let a review, this game will surely pop off once more people know more about it. The quality is higher than more visual novel / dating games in here.

I love the red theme, but I've suggest adding more contrast on the text when the love is +1 and during the intro scene.

Good luck on the game, will surely come back for further updates. Really curious how you'll craft the world with this setting. Lots of opportunities!
 
  • Yay, new update!
Reactions: rKnight

Nuteku

Newbie
Game Developer
Jan 23, 2019
20
47
Took a good hour indeed! Awesome work! I've let a review, this game will surely pop off once more people know more about it. The quality is higher than more visual novel / dating games in here.

I love the red theme, but I've suggest adding more contrast on the text when the love is +1 and during the intro scene.

Good luck on the game, will surely come back for further updates. Really curious how you'll craft the world with this setting. Lots of opportunities!
Thank you so much, I just read your review and it made me very happy!! Will definitely take your feedback and implement it into the next update. Hope you return for future updates <3
 
  • Red Heart
Reactions: Slayerz

BlasKyau

Conversation Conqueror
Jun 26, 2018
7,688
10,030
Nuteku

s the game going to be femdom? I have entered the thread because of the harem and romance tags, but the impression I have had is rather something else. I don't really feel like I can start a romance with the LIs when they start the game by threatening the MC with death and forcing him to do what they want. At that point I have left the game and come here to ask. Maybe the attitude of the LIs towards the MC changes a lot and quickly, but with the one I've seen I certainly don't feel like I want the MC to have a romance with any of them.
 
5.00 star(s) 2 Votes