VN - Unity - Completed - Horny Spy: Secret Mission [Final] [Philip Efimov]

THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE QUIRKY

Horny Spy: Secret Mission is a short VN about the young but determined Jessie Smith. She investigates a local mafia organization but finds she's constantly stripping and getting sexual in pursuit of her primary target. If you don't take this game very seriously and just follow the often flawed logic of characters to their obvious, lewd conclusions, this could prove briefly to be a good time.

THE GOOD THE BAD THE QUIRKY Since half-star ratings aren't possible and Jessie and Vivian are both cuties, I'll round this from 1.5 stars to 2. If you want a silly game about total commitment always amounting to sexual situations and exploiting the MC at practically every opportunity, this game is a bit of fun. If you're looking for an easy way to get several lewd renders without too much effort, this game could be something to consider. If you're looking for a serious, hard-hitting VN about the pitfalls of the spy world, tragedy that can befall those involved in crime, or anything of the sort, Horny Spy: Secret Mission is not the game you want. But then again, with a name like this VN bears, why would you expect anything more?

Okay, so, I don't really like giving a low score, and this game is really unintentionally funny but it's just not very good.

Jessie is maybe the worst spy ever and her methodology when it comes to espionage mostly involves hoppin' on dicks. She's not capable of hiding around corners. She uses no technology to her advantage; no gadgets or spy cams or anything you'd expect a spy to use. She's a bumbling nymphomaniac with all the subtlety of a dildo shaped sledgehammer.

The dialogue is hilariously bad. Guys comment at one point that Jessie's tits are amazing because they are elastic and bouncy. The dialogue comes across as very awkward and robotic. It's not good. The general descriptions are about the same quality.

The plot is nonsensical. Jessie goes on a sequence of 'undercover' missions where she changes her hair and ends up hopping on or sucking on a dick at the end. She's doing all of this to get closer to some mafia kingpin but it actually makes no sense if you stop and think for more than two seconds.

As an example, she poses as a housekeeper for the targets son, sneaks into his confidential 'off-limits' room, gets caught, tells the son she fell in love with him at first sight as a distraction, fucks the son and then she is doing something completely different in the next scene. Wouldn't he be suspicious after he caught her? Especially given the context?

Some of the blocking in scenes again makes no sense where characters are at street level in one shot and then on top of a building the next with no transition.

The game is very short. There's about an hour in here. Well, actually maybe more as I only got 1 of 2 endings but I can't imagine there's really that much different.

There's no animations and a lot of the posing in the sex scenes is bad. The porn aspect is not very well done. It's not hot but it is corny and funny in a campy kind of way imo. Basically everything in the game is below average except the rendered character designs which are actually pretty good save for some of the clothing.

Overall, it's probably not worth your time unless you wanna have a chuckle. Despite the harsh review, the dev does have potential for sure, as the renders are pretty nice. Just needs to work on writing, dialogue, and the porn aspect.