VN Ren'Py Corrupted Hearts [v0.5 Part A] [Sinful Studios]

[Codm noob]

I plan it to be monthly.

That's great... Although I can't support you.... I wish you best of luck for your game and look forward to playing the new updates.... The renders are good, the characters look great and have unique and interesting personalities, and the plot is interesting..... Also, Will there be animations in your game? Probably a breath of fresh air in the NTR genre as i think there aren't many good games coming to NTR genre nowadays....

 

[Sinful Dev]

That's great... Although I can't support you.... I wish you best of luck for your game and look forward to playing the new updates.... The renders are good, the characters look great and have unique and interesting personalities, and the plot is interesting..... Also, Will there be animations in your game? Probably a breath of fresh air in the NTR genre as i think there aren't many good games coming to NTR genre nowadays....

Animations aren't really a priority because good animations need expert level animation skills and time, though I will try to include some. But I believe great still renders can be more satisfying than janky animations just like how comics with good visuals do not need animations.

 

[BlackKlein]

Animations aren't really a priority because good animations need expert level animation skills and time, though I will try to include some. But I believe great still renders can be more satisfying than janky animations just like how comics with good visuals do not need animations.

Hello author, just curious, when playing only from the mc perspective will there be many occurences where the wife looks like she has done something with the netori guy?
(Something like: a strand of hair on her mouth, the wife talking showing only her face on the door, very sweaty clothes, messy clothes, white thingy on her body, etc) . Coz that would be hot instead of the mc totally unaware or the wife looks totally fine.

 

[Sinful Dev]

Hello author, just curious, when playing only from the mc perspective will there be many occurences where the wife looks like she has done something with the netori guy?
(Something like: a strand of hair on her mouth, the wife talking showing only her face on the door, very sweaty clothes, messy clothes, white thingy on her body, etc) . Coz that would be hot instead of the mc totally unaware or the wife looks totally fine.

Yeah of course instances like that would be there.

 

[Codm noob]

Animations aren't really a priority because good animations need expert level animation skills and time, though I will try to include some. But I believe great still renders can be more satisfying than janky animations just like how comics with good visuals do not need animations.

Absolutely agree.... I'll be here to witness this game progress... Just one more suggestion with the slow burn.... I think it should be at a pace where everyone is satisfied because I've seen some games where the slow corruption goes on for ages and people tend to become uninterested and leave...

 

[Saiboxer]

To clear up some confusion people might have, NTR is technically avoidable for main female lead(but game will end early) and completely avoidable for second female lead. But it depends on your choice. Your choice also not only affects the NTR thing but also a lot more which you will find out as the story progresses. The first update was to introduce the settings and characters.

I didn't focus on making a complete NTR free route because this game is NTR focused and so there will be no point otherwise.

is netorase(swinging or sharing)possible in the future update?

 

[Sinful Dev]

is netorase(swinging or sharing)possible in the future update?

The MC will never "happily" be a cuck.

 

[desmosome]

This seems really promising. Nice set up and good English. I'll leave a critique about the full POV version, and you can decide if it's worth taking into consideration.

This could perhaps be a personal preference kinda thing, but I think having too much redundancy in different POVs messes with the pacing. I can see that you made efforts to cut down on showing the same stuff in its entirety, but it's still doing too much "tell, don't show."

We can pretty much already tell what the girls are thinking, more or less. You are already doing this to an extent, but you can use visual cues and the male MC's thought process to give clues on what's going on in the girls' heads. Obviously, since there is a mystery NTR version, you took steps to make these things apparent even without the female POV.

I think the female POV should be mostly for things that are happening outside of the male MC's POV and when it pertains to any lewd stuff. Going over the same scene 3 times when all of them are just talking to each other has pros and cons. On one hand, it can be nice to see exactly what they are thinking. On the other hand, it can lead to pacing issues when the information being expanded upon is not part of a corruption progression or set up AND it's not really giving us new insights on the characters.

There are other games that do basically what you are doing, but with a more measured execution. Watching My Wife, A Promise Best Left Unkept, Swing and Miss, A Perfect Marriage, and various other NTR titles. What they do is to not dwell on the same scenes that we saw in the male MC's side and opt to show new scenes where the female protag goes about their business away from the male MC. They can still do their introspection and monologing about what transpired with the male MC in their respective novel scenes. You don't have to do a play by play all the time showing what they are thinking in that exact moment while talking to the male MC.

Let me just make an example about what I think would happen in the coming update based on what we saw so far in the first release. MC is gonna talk to the black dude in the presence of his two girls. Black dude is probably a bully during his school days or whatever, and there will be some ominous shenanigans. Switch to wife's POV. Same room. Black guy and male MC is talking. She has some internal monologues about why he seems shaken, etc etc. Switch to intern POV. Same thing.

Now let me offer a different way this could be executed. You just see this scene from the male MC's POV. Give some visual cues on the wife being confused or picking up that something isn't right. The intern can do her MC simping thing and try to make him feel better if she witnesses MC being flustered. That can all be done on the male MC side. Then they part ways and when we switch the to wife's POV, it's not showing that same scene. It's showing what happened before or after that scene. She can reflect on what happened during this time.

I'm not saying you didn't playtest or go over your own script, but try to really get into a player's perspective when checking over your work. It gets pretty annoying if we constantly just see the same scenes, even if you shortened it. You can still do scenes like this where we get a shortened version of whatever happened on the male MC side, but it should be used sparingly and only when it's really important.

 

[Sinful Dev]

This seems really promising. Nice set up and good English. I'll leave a critique about the full POV version, and you can decide if it's worth taking into consideration.

This could perhaps be a personal preference kinda thing, but I think having too much redundancy in different POVs messes with the pacing. I can see that you made efforts to cut down on showing the same stuff in its entirety, but it's still doing too much "tell, don't show."

We can pretty much already tell what the girls are thinking, more or less. You are already doing this to an extent, but you can use visual cues and the male MC's thought process to give clues on what's going on in the girls' heads. Obviously, since there is a mystery NTR version, you took steps to make these things apparent even without the female POV.

I think the female POV should be mostly for things that are happening outside of the male MC's POV and when it pertains to any lewd stuff. Going over the same scene 3 times when all of them are just talking to each other has pros and cons. On one hand, it can be nice to see exactly what they are thinking. On the other hand, it can lead to pacing issues when the information being expanded upon is not part of a corruption progression or set up AND it's not really giving us new insights on the characters.

There are other games that do basically what you are doing, but with a more measured execution. Watching My Wife, A Promise Best Left Unkept, Swing and Miss, A Perfect Marriage, and various other NTR titles. What they do is to not dwell on the same scenes that we saw in the male MC's side and opt to show new scenes where the female protag goes about their business away from the male MC. They can still do their introspection and monologing about what transpired with the male MC in their respective novel scenes. You don't have to do a play by play all the time showing what they are thinking in that exact moment while talking to the male MC.

Let me just make an example about what I think would happen in the coming update based on what we saw so far in the first release. MC is gonna talk to the black dude in the presence of his two girls. Black dude is probably a bully during his school days or whatever, and there will be some ominous shenanigans. Switch to wife's POV. Same room. Black guy and male MC is talking. She has some internal monologues about why he seems shaken, etc etc. Switch to intern POV. Same thing.

Now let me offer a different way this could be executed. You just see this scene from the male MC's POV. Give some visual cues on the wife being confused or picking up that something isn't right. The intern can do her MC simping thing and try to make him feel better if she witnesses MC being flustered. That can all be done on the male MC side. Then they part ways and when we switch the to wife's POV, it's not showing that same scene. It's showing what happened before or after that scene. She can reflect on what happened during this time.

I'm not saying you didn't playtest or go over your own script, but try to really get into a player's perspective when checking over your work. It gets pretty annoying if we constantly just see the same scenes, even if you shortened it. You can still do scenes like this where we get a shortened version of whatever happened on the male MC side, but it should be used sparingly and only when it's really important.

Yeah this is something I had some dilemma about while writing the povs. I was worried if I might repeat too much or that the female povs might lack information, making the players unable to learn more about their thought process and character. Next time, I will try to not repeat the scenes as much as possible while conveying their thoughts in a more interesting way.

I also plan to use sprites so that I can include more content since I believe using unique renders for conversation or anything that is not lewd doesn't really matter. So all this combined should work together well.

Thanks for your feedback

 

[desmosome]

Yeah this is something I had some dilemma about while writing the povs. I was worried if I might repeat too much or that the female povs might lack information, making the players unable to learn more about their thought process and character. Next time, I will try to not repeat the scenes as much as possible while conveying their thoughts in a more interesting way.

I also plan to use sprites so that I can include more content since I believe using unique renders for conversation or anything that is not lewd doesn't really matter. So all this combined should work together well.

Thanks for your feedback

If you want my advice, it would be to try and limit those "same conversation" scenes for situations that advance the lewd stuff. For example, later on, if there is some secret groping while MC is talking to them or something, you can show the female POV side to give the details. Or it can even be hushed conversations with the baddie. That kinda thing where she is having an actual lewd/corruption interaction in plain sight (but oblivious to the male MC) makes sense to expand on in detail by showing the situation again on the female side. But "boring" internal monologues would be better placed in a new scene where she is thinking about it while doing something else.

And frankly, internal monologues are abused to all hell in most VNs. It's not like I hate internal monologues, but it becomes sort of a crutch in writing when devs lean on it so much. In a way, these monologues replace narration in this style of writing, so you can't just get rid of it, but it goes a long way if you can stay conscious of this proclivity to over explain every little thought process of the characters. You can show what they are thinking by including those information naturally in a conversation, or using visual cues, or just by the characters actions. The readers are not idiots (probably).

As for using sprites, that is definitely a concession in favor of faster development. You do lose out on a lot of visual storytelling possibilities, but I play a lot of 2D VNs, so I'm personally cool with it. That said, switching mid development, even if it's this early, can disappoint some people who enjoyed the first iteration. And one of the advantage of a 3DCG VN compared to 2DCG is the possibility of full render visuals, but if you anticipate the dev cycle to be overly long with full renders, switching to sprites for non-lewd conversations is probably pragmatic.

 

[Sinful Dev]

If you want my advice, it would be to try and limit those "same conversation" scenes for situations that advance the lewd stuff. For example, later on, if there is some secret groping while MC is talking to them or something, you can show the female POV side to give the details. Or it can even be hushed conversations with the baddie. That kinda thing where she is having an actual lewd/corruption interaction in plain sight (but oblivious to the male MC) makes sense to expand on in detail by showing the situation again on the female side. But "boring" internal monologues would be better placed in a new scene where she is thinking about it while doing something else.

And frankly, internal monologues are abused to all hell in most VNs. It's not like I hate internal monologues, but it becomes sort of a crutch in writing when devs lean on it so much. In a way, these monologues replace narration in this style of writing, so you can't just get rid of it, but it goes a long way if you can stay conscious of this proclivity to over explain every little thought process of the characters. You can show what they are thinking by including those information naturally in a conversation, or using visual cues, or just by the characters actions. The readers are not idiots (probably).

As for using sprites, that is definitely a concession in favor of faster development. You do lose out on a lot of visual storytelling possibilities, but I play a lot of 2D VNs, so I'm personally cool with it. That said, switching mid development, even if it's this early, can disappoint some people who enjoyed the first iteration. And one of the advantage of a 3DCG VN compared to 2DCG is the possibility of full render visuals, but if you anticipate the dev cycle to be overly long with full renders, switching to sprites for non-lewd conversations is probably pragmatic.

Yeah agree with those points. As for sprites, I guess I will find out from next update how people react to it. One thing I am sure is that since I tend to focus on the quality of renders, the dev cycle will definitely be long if I stick to unique renders for everything that happens in the story. Since this is a AVN, I am hoping things won't be bad by making some compromise on the non-lewd parts.

 

[AnimeHentaiGamer]

love the game so far. hope next update has ntr with Clara and Anna. or sharing/cuck

 

[M3lly]

If you want my advice, it would be to try and limit those "same conversation" scenes for situations that advance the lewd stuff. For example, later on, if there is some secret groping while MC is talking to them or something, you can show the female POV side to give the details. Or it can even be hushed conversations with the baddie. That kinda thing where she is having an actual lewd/corruption interaction in plain sight (but oblivious to the male MC) makes sense to expand on in detail by showing the situation again on the female side. But "boring" internal monologues would be better placed in a new scene where she is thinking about it while doing something else.

And frankly, internal monologues are abused to all hell in most VNs. It's not like I hate internal monologues, but it becomes sort of a crutch in writing when devs lean on it so much. In a way, these monologues replace narration in this style of writing, so you can't just get rid of it, but it goes a long way if you can stay conscious of this proclivity to over explain every little thought process of the characters. You can show what they are thinking by including those information naturally in a conversation, or using visual cues, or just by the characters actions. The readers are not idiots (probably).

As for using sprites, that is definitely a concession in favor of faster development. You do lose out on a lot of visual storytelling possibilities, but I play a lot of 2D VNs, so I'm personally cool with it. That said, switching mid development, even if it's this early, can disappoint some people who enjoyed the first iteration. And one of the advantage of a 3DCG VN compared to 2DCG is the possibility of full render visuals, but if you anticipate the dev cycle to be overly long with full renders, switching to sprites for non-lewd conversations is probably pragmatic.

Solid advice. I agree with everything you said!

 

[Haha9999]

is avoiding NTR unavoidable, because i want to avoid avoidable NTR so that i can enjoy Unavoidable NTR.

 

[Haha9999]

well done @sinfuldev.
this game directly made it into my top 3.
.
I'd just say don't listen to anyone.
no feedback no nothing just give it your own direction.
.
just try to complete the overall story first and don't make many changes.
.
and most importantly try to keep the story raw and short.
.
and you have immense potential.
just work hard buddy, fame and money will automatically be yours.

 

[Sinful Dev]

is avoiding NTR unavoidable, because i want to avoid avoidable NTR so that i can enjoy Unavoidable NTR.

I would say its up to you but practically first female lead NTR is unavoidable but then you get to choose how her and MC's life can end up.

 

[Haha9999]

I would say its up to you but practically first female lead NTR is unavoidable but then you get to choose how her and MC's life can end up.

hi, sinful_dev I've really important question for you.
how many update will it take to complete the movie?
approx estimation.

 

[Sinful Dev]

hi, sinful_dev I've really important question for you.
how many update will it take to complete the movie?
approx estimation.

I am afraid its a question I can't answer for sure since unless you have written everything down, you can never guess how long it can be.

 

[Haha9999]

I am afraid its a question I can't answer for sure since unless you have written everything down, you can never guess how long it can be.

you haven't completed the story yet?

 

[Sinful Dev]

you haven't completed the story yet?

I only have the plot outlined but I haven't written it down completely. Otherwise, I would have released updates quite faster. Its also better that way since it makes things flexible and help me be more creative.