- Thread starter The Anax
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- May 26, 2017
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Ok, I'm mixed on this one. The writing isn't bad but I am having problems with the security character. The story is written as first person, implying it is me playing the character yet I have no input at all so I'm not. And also he's a moron. How this idiot luddite achieved such a position in a high tech company is too much of a stretch. A chick who he barely has any contact with throws herself at him, and on top of that a dude actually tries to tell him something is wrong (which is super obvious even without him stating it) and he just dismisses it? He claims the job is important to him yet is going to fuck a chick DURING working hours on company grounds with a WITNESS he just bullied and dismissed having just left? This guy's stupidity is legendary.
Yeah, if it doesn't work for you, then don't worry, I won't mind if you do not play the game. My projects have a massive arch (I think with the 4 finished ones I am currently at over 500,000 words of content). Not all characters or content will align with everyone's tastes, so I totally understand.
He's great at what he does, and though you find him an idiot, he's anything but.
The chick throws herself at him, if you recall, because of Cerebrum's hypno brain washing. (If you've read all my other stories, you know it's because of the tech Marv's ancestor developed that Cerebrum stole).
As far as Ruben trying to stop Howard, I've thought with my dick on more than one occasion in life, even though, I should have been smarter.
Anyway, like I said, if it's not for you, it's not for you- and that's ok.
- May 26, 2017
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Thinking with your dick is one thing... but pushing around a guy who can get you fired and expecting him not to is quite another. I didn't question her because she's under mind control... I just find it tough to swallow a guy who is supposed to be good at security not seeing such obvious red flag behavior. Overall, like I said, I thought the writing was good. It was just the behavior of that one character that seemed out of place. I think if it were written more in standard narrative format where it's not implied it's me and rather I'm just reading about him I wouldn't have cared.
Thanks for the feedback! All my projects are also being made into e-books, which will not read from first person as the games do. (I want to cover as many demographics as I can). I will even have adult and non-adult versions of each, so when you start hearing about my ebooks releasing, that might fit your style better than the games.
- Apr 19, 2018
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@The Anax got to say nice game for a demo and I know its odd but i want that shower it's pretty sick tbh lol and btw idk if you know but your work appeared on their------->
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Thank you! There is more to come. Starting in Chapter 2 there will be variables for willpower and health and random enemy fights! As far as that site goes, usually if I upload things on e-hentai, it appears all over the place. I forgot to put a cover sheet on it telling folks where to download my game though! Hopefully new people will see it and invest in my Patreon. Thanks again!
lets see, my thoughts after finishing the Demo. Out of the characters available the security guy was probably my least favourite, due to his somewhat stilted dialogue and general behaviour. I do get that he is supposed to be suspicious of the rapid onset of tech replacing the human factor and talk a bit more like acountry boy. But he seems far too trusting for a security expert, especially with the extremely suspicious behaviour of the 'ice queen'.
While the thinking with your lower region might be a factor he was explicitly warned by a superior and on top his suspicion of technology should have made him more keen on an eye witness rather than footage that might be tampered with.
Now as a writer I know things should go in a certain direction so things could pan out in a similar way, but with him not dropping his guard as easily and perhaps figuring things out on his own before its revealed to him. In a more 'dang it, I was so stupid' kind of moment.
I have no real criticism of the others, any odd behaviour is more easily explained due to outside influence. On the whole the writing seems to be a slight improvement on your previous work, although its hard to tell with just the Demo to go on, Especially for plot points that might not have come into play yet. And I do feel the need to point out this is still leagues above most other adult game writing, which usually ranges from poor to abysmal.
Overall I would rate it at 7/10 (Good to very good) from what ive seen so far. It has an intruiging plot hook and the multiple protagonists each give a different view of things.
While the thinking with your lower region might be a factor he was explicitly warned by a superior and on top his suspicion of technology should have made him more keen on an eye witness rather than footage that might be tampered with.
Now as a writer I know things should go in a certain direction so things could pan out in a similar way, but with him not dropping his guard as easily and perhaps figuring things out on his own before its revealed to him. In a more 'dang it, I was so stupid' kind of moment.
I have no real criticism of the others, any odd behaviour is more easily explained due to outside influence. On the whole the writing seems to be a slight improvement on your previous work, although its hard to tell with just the Demo to go on, Especially for plot points that might not have come into play yet. And I do feel the need to point out this is still leagues above most other adult game writing, which usually ranges from poor to abysmal.
Overall I would rate it at 7/10 (Good to very good) from what ive seen so far. It has an intruiging plot hook and the multiple protagonists each give a different view of things.
Thanks! And, just so the folks here are aware: I am officially putting in my two weeks notice at my ‘real world’ job- so I can devote all my time to my projects. I would be lying were I to say that I feel no fear taking this risk- because I do. However, as an artist and writer, I am bursting at the seams with passion and ideas, and I must follow my heart and create and produce! If I have to tighten my belt and budget for now- so be it.
However- if you have ever considered investing me, or if you like to support and donate to community creators- now is the time because Patreon will henceforth be my only income. Rest assured, you will have a return on your investments! You will be rewarded with professional entertainment projects in a timely manner. Thank you to those that have helped me get this far- for the rest of my life, I shall create for your enjoyment!
However- if you have ever considered investing me, or if you like to support and donate to community creators- now is the time because Patreon will henceforth be my only income. Rest assured, you will have a return on your investments! You will be rewarded with professional entertainment projects in a timely manner. Thank you to those that have helped me get this far- for the rest of my life, I shall create for your enjoyment!
- Jun 23, 2017
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Slugs and bugs was good, but not great, the last chapter was the best gave you free range to play how you wanted. if the game was like that all through it would of been great.
My first interactive novel was fun and exciting to make, for sure. I had never even created anything yet besides uploading picture manips on Hypnopics for several years. I appreciate the kind words and like you liked it! Eventually, I'll overhaul it. However, keep in mind that once I finish my 8 interactive novels, I will be moving on to making bigger games that are not HTML. (In fact, Factions is already under development and the alpha should be out sometime in August).
My favorite part of Anax's stories are when the mc decides to get corrupted but on his or her own terms. They use the power to their own advantage. I was so impressed by this in Cult of Corruption that a did a one time donation to Anax because I enjoyed it so much. If I had a more stable income I would be his patron.
Thank you! I pour my passion into everything I do! And, you will be happy to hear that I just released all three Chapter 2's of C:I to my highest Patrons, and it shall trickle down over the next month! I'll update it here as soon as I go public with it!
I will let a mod know, but just so everyone is aware, I have updated this to Chapter 2 (well all three chapter 2's!) You can download it here, and I will try and have the mods update all the Mega stuff and such. Which, this is now considered a game and not a demo anymore, I would think!
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I played the new chapter 2 demo and really enjoyed it. I mean the sexy slimy silver gynoids were the best. Wouldn't mind playing around with them at all! Cheiko's story is interesting but I kinda want to see how the cereborg story plays out. She seems to have retained her personality at least somewhat. And she may use that to get what she wants. I wonder how Howard will progress through this. Will he retain his rejection of the cereborgs. Or will he indulge in the newest technology and attempt to use it for his own ends? Thank you Anax for making a really enjoyable experience.