I briefly threw it into Twine to proof read and fix, but then I noticed I use a newer version of SugarCube than you do, so it would probably not re-import on your side. I was a bit gobsmacked that you put the entire first half of the story in just one passage, and the second part for Ella in another. With the functionality of the passage editor sucking donkey balls big time it must have been a royal pain in the ass to edit this thing.
"Currant Avatar." -> "Current Avatar."
"Lastly theirs you, you're the skinny but smart one of the group- and in this bunch that's saying something. At first when you all met there was a lot of intellectual one upmanship- it's kind of like the nerd version of dick measuring, but the others quickly gave up on that."
->
"Lastly there's you. You're the skinny but smart one of the group, and in this bunch that's saying something. At first when you all met there was a lot of intellectual one upmanship. It's kind of like the nerd version of dick measuring, but the others quickly gave up on that."
"to get in their panties- turns out we were wrong." -> "to get in their panties. It turns out we were wrong."
"You all agreed that if you had the chance to lose your virginity- even if it was to a tranny, you'd take it." -> "You all agreed that if you had the chance to lose your virginity, even if it was to a tranny, you'd take it."
"red bull and twizzlers" -> "Red Bull and Twizzlers"
"you plan on having a carrier " -> "you plan on having a career"
"I don't really like sweet stuff, get me a few bags of pretzels instead." -> "I don't really like sweet stuff. Get me a few bags of pretzels instead."
"work to our desktop's." -> "work to our desktops."
"explain that to doctor glass." -> "explain that to Doctor Glass."
"Dr. Glass didn't suspect a thing when he read the report and from then on you all got a lot better about making sure that you had local backups of everything- so all in all a good learning experience for everyone."
->
"Dr. Glass didn't suspect a thing when he read the report. From then on you all got a lot better about making sure that you had local backups of everything. So all in all it was a good learning experience for everyone."
"You sure. It looks like you were giving Mark a handjob?" -> "You sure? It looks like you were giving Mark a handjob."
"You can't say anything to the others man, seriously, Elton's parents are crazy religious, if they find out they'll disown him."
->
"You can't say anything to the others man. Seriously, Elton's parents are crazy religious. If they find out they'll disown him."
"Hay guys" -> "Hey guys"
"Yeah, defiantly." -> "Yeah, definitely."
"Elton didn't seem comfortable with any of what was going on and while that could just be Elton being Elton something felt off to you."
->
"Elton didn't seem comfortable with any of what was going on. While that could just be Elton being Elton, something felt off to you."
"I know right! If I'd known that Elton was into guys I would have gone for it myself!" -> "I know right? If I'd known that Elton was into guys I would have gone for it myself!"
"The three of you finish your drinks and try your best to ignore that right at that second upstairs, one of your friends was getting his dick sucked by another one of your friends."
->
"The three of you finish your drinks and try your best to ignore the fact that, right at that second upstairs, one of your friends was getting his dick sucked by another one of your friends."
"Hay guys I ordered" -> "Hey guys, I ordered"
"Smart kid- no lateral thinking power but he'll make a great researcher some day. " -> Smart kid... no lateral thinking power, but he'll make a great researcher some day. "
"I notices that one of you" -> "I noticed that one of you"
"Oh, yeah one of the guys- well not a guy anymore I guess-" -> "Oh yeah, one of the guys... well not a guy anymore I guess..."
"The Trans experience is still a relatively new subject of study, a subject with psychological training that can articulate the experience would be very valuable. "
->
"The Trans experience is still a relatively new subject of study. A subject with psychological training that can articulate the experience would be very valuable. "
"It's fine, she's just going to help Glass with something." -> "It's fine. She's just going to help Glass with something."
"YES! Haha! I told you I would win if we played a proper game- what are you guys looking- oh wow." -> "YES! Haha! I told you I would win if we played a proper game. What are you guys looking... oh wow."
"No Ella, you look great. Right guys, doesn’t she look great." -> "No Ella, you look great. Right guys? Doesn’t she look great?"
"She gives you a little twirl to show off her whole outfit, she's smiling and giggling the whole time." -> "She gives you a little twirl to show off her whole outfit. She's smiling and giggling the whole time."
"For the first time since you caught her and Mark together in the living room you feel the tension in your shoulders lift. "
->
"For the first time since you caught her and Mark together in the living room, you feel the tension in your shoulders lift. "
"Surely this must be who she really wants to be., if it wasn’t Dr. Glass would have found out." -> "Surely this must be who she really wants to be. If it wasn’t, Dr. Glass would have found out."
"You walk into the waiting room in front of Dr. Glass's office and take a seat, its already 4:45 and you settle in for what's probably going to be another long shift. You like Dr. Glass but he doesn’t really seem to care they you're supposed to finish at 5. If he gets stuck on a subject he finds interesting he has been known to keep people trapped in his office until well after 6."
->
"You walk into the waiting room in front of Dr. Glass's office and take a seat. Its already 4:45, and you settle in for what's probably going to be another long shift. You like Dr. Glass, but he doesn’t really seem to care they you're supposed to finish at 5. If he gets stuck on a subject he finds interesting, he has been known to keep people trapped in his office until well after 6."
"that lets see" -> "that lets you see"
"Look, she didn't want me to tell any of you guys this but, Ella, is a slut." -> "Look, she didn't want me to tell any of you guys this, but Ella is a slut."
"That- that's bullshit. He's her boss- not to mention that he's a psychologist and she's effectively his patient." -> "That... that's bullshit. He's her boss... not to mention that he's a psychologist and she's effectively his patient. "
"she likes to suck dick- I can prove it." -> "she likes to suck dick. I can prove it."
"once your done" -> "once you're done"
"I told you I like it!" -> "I TOLD YOU! I LIKE IT!"
"for you cock mouth first." -> "for your cock mouth first."
"Now that he has her so under his thumb that he can force her to suck him off in front of everyone he's only going to get more bold." -> "Now that he has her so far under his thumb that he can force her to suck him off in front of everyone, he's only going to get more bold."
"sitting together at lunch except for $M" -> "sitting together at lunch except for $m"
"One day after work you come in the door and crash onto the couch" -> There's an image macro for LivingRoom.jpg right after this line that has a misplaced quote so it appears as "<img src="Images/Misc/LivingRoom".jpg"" style="max-width: 45vw; min-height: 25vw;"/>" directly in the browser. It probably looks like addMiscPic LivingRoom'.jpg' when it should be
addMiscPic 'LivingRoom.jpg' in the Twine passage editor.
"all of you this summer has thought me" -> "all of you this summer has taught me"
"We are going to do you on our schedule not your slut- Justin!" -> "We are going to do you on our schedule, not yours slut... Justin!"
"You're not just meant to do what she asks, were supposed to be forcing her remember?" -> "You're not just meant to do what she asks. We're supposed to be forcing her.... Remember?"
"I know right. I thought I jerked off a lot before but after living with Ella my sex drive has gone through the roof!" -> "I know right? I thought I jerked off a lot before, but after living with Ella, my sex drive has gone through the roof!"
"The town I live in dude, everyone knows me and let's just say that" -> Not sure what you are trying to script here. Maybe something like "The town I live in dude, everyone knows me. Let's just leave it at that."
"Ha! I don't know about your school but at mine science nerds don't get invited to a lot of parties." -> "Ha! I don't know about your school, but at mine, science nerds don't get invited to a lot of parties."
"She didn't tell you? She transferred schools, we talked to Glass about her situation and he called up someone he knew at a college here in town. " -> "She didn't tell you? She transferred schools. We talked to Glass about her situation, and he called up someone he knew at a college here in town. "
"Nah, your right and all, she and I have something special but I don't think the amount of sex she needs is going to see her settling down anytime soon." -> "Nah, your right and all. She and I have something special, but I don't think the amount of sex she needs is going to see her settling down anytime soon."
"Nah, I want my own kids- not that there's anything wrong with adoption- you're not adopted are you?" -> "Nah... I want my own kids; not that there's anything wrong with adoption. You're not adopted are you?"
"On your bus ride home you feel I sudden itch in your mind, if feels like you forgot something but you can't quite get your finger on what." -> "On your bus ride home you feel I sudden nagging in your mind. If feels like you forgot something, but you can't quite put your finger on what."
"You don't know why, you've had a bunch of conversations with people that want kids they always end up expressing a similar sentiment." -> "You don't know why,. You've had a bunch of conversations with people that want kids. They always end up expressing a similar sentiment."
"For the first time you find yourself thinking how silly a thought it is. Having kids doesn’t really mean that part of your lives forever. Sure it may keep you memory alive but even at that, how many people could name their great grandfather, 2 percent, less?"
->
"For the first time you find yourself thinking how silly a thought it is. Having kids doesn’t really mean that a part of you lives forever. Sure it may keep you memory alive, but even at that, how many people could name their great grandfather? 2 percent? Maybe even less?"
I ran out of gas proof reading for Ella's section but blew through it again to catch the broken images:
addMiscPic 'Lippy.Jpg' -> addMiscPic 'Lippy.jpg'
addMiscPic 'M.Jpg' -> addMiscPic 'M.jpg'
Also you seem to have forgotten a whole section of Ella's POV during the MC's first anal sex. It basically goes from "hey there.." straight to her hands free orgasm with nothing in between.
And finally the following MP4 files need to be converted away from the greedy clutches of the rent seekers:
How To Train Your Tranny/Images $ find . -name "*.mp4"
./Scenes/Gang6.mp4
./Scenes/Gang3.mp4
./Scenes/DP3.mp4
./Scenes/Glass2.mp4
./Scenes/Maid16.mp4
./Scenes/Gang1.mp4
./Scenes/After2.mp4
./Scenes/Maid21.mp4
./Scenes/Maid2.mp4
./Scenes/Gang10.mp4
./Scenes/M3.mp4
./Scenes/M2.mp4
./Scenes/After4.mp4
./Scenes/After3.mp4
./Scenes/M1.mp4
./Scenes/M4.mp4
./Scenes/Maid13.mp4
./Scenes/Glass3.mp4
./Scenes/Maid15.mp4
./Scenes/Gang20.mp4
./Scenes/CO2.mp4
./Scenes/CO1.mp4
./Scenes/Gang2.mp4
./Scenes/Glass5.mp4
./Scenes/After1.mp4
./Scenes/Maid5.mp4
./Scenes/BBJ1.mp4
./Scenes/Gang5.mp4
./Scenes/Maid1.mp4
./Scenes/EJerk.mp4
./Scenes/Maid11.mp4
./Scenes/Gang7.mp4
./Scenes/C1.mp4
./Scenes/Gang11.mp4
./Scenes/DP2.mp4
./Scenes/Maid10.mp4
./Scenes/Glass4.mp4
./Scenes/Maid18.mp4
./Scenes/M8.mp4
./Scenes/DP1.mp4
./Scenes/Maid17.mp4
./Scenes/Gang14.mp4
./Scenes/Glass1.mp4
./Scenes/Win.mp4
./Scenes/M5.mp4
./Scenes/Gang21.mp4
./Scenes/Gang15.mp4
./Scenes/C2.mp4
./Scenes/Ejerk1.mp4
./Scenes/CIM.mp4
./Scenes/Facial.mp4
./Scenes/Gang13.mp4
./Misc/EJerk.mp4
./Misc/Win.mp4
./Misc/Ejerk1.mp4
./Misc/Facial.mp4
Thanks for catching these for me bud. The .Jpeg .jpg thing was just a typo i missed. The carrier/career thing is just cause I'm an idiot lol. I'm dyslexic and if MS Word doesn't give me the squiggle i assume everything is OK.
Other than that did it all run fine on Linux?