VN Ren'Py Abandoned The Hotel Manager [v0.3a] [FTB Software]

4.40 star(s) 8 Votes

xןʞ

I trolled so N7 could soar.
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Someone gotta learn not to set it to automatically focus on camera when doing those shots.
 

shadowman27

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Aug 27, 2017
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I loved the game so far, it looks very promising and i cant wait for more. Sophie and Christine are hot.
 

botc76

The Crawling Chaos, Bringer of Strange Joy
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Oct 23, 2016
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I like the humour and the girls aren't bad looking, but... the eyes are horrible. Lifeless and creepy.
The same goes for the expressions. The characters look either like dead fish or like maniacs.

It's a bit of a pity that the game has these problems, because otherwise it has a lot of potential.
 
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voyeurkind

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Jan 26, 2018
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Some thoughts:
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Overall, I'm on the fence. There's a lot of promise here, but I'm not a fan of the writing style, and the MC really annoys me.
 

Lednacek

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May 26, 2017
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I like the humour and the girls aren't bad looking, but... the eyes are horrible. Lifeless and creepy.
The same goes for the expressions. The characters look either like dead fish or like maniacs.

It's a bit of a pity that the game has these problems, because otherwise it has a lot of potential.
I was thinking exactly the same thing. The eyes and facial expressions are unnatural. the constant movement during conversation is nauseating. And when you talk to someone you usually try to maintain eye contact. Especially if you dont want to sound and look like a liar.
 

anschwww

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May 10, 2017
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The game is good, but the animations in the office are a bit too much.
- Sophie: It's a bit annoying, when she writes on the paper and shakes the whole upper body. Maybe move only the hand and she looks sometimes to the MC and smile at him.
- Christine: Lower the fps? Could be less distraction, if she moves her eyes/head only every 5 Seconds...
 
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botc76

The Crawling Chaos, Bringer of Strange Joy
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Oct 23, 2016
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The game is good, but the animations in the office are a bit too much.
- Sophie: It's a bit annoying, when she writes on the paper and shakes the whole upper body. Maybe move only the hand and she looks sometimes to the MC and smile at him.
- Christine: Lower the fps? Could be less distraction, if she moves her eyes/head only every 5 Seconds...

Actually it reminded me a bit of Jacob's Ladder. :)
 

FlipTopBin

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Game Developer
Dec 5, 2017
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Thanks for the great feedback everybody.

This is (obviously) my first game and its first release was bound to have some teething problems. When I started I had never written anything longer than a postcard, never used renpy or heard of Daz and will freely admit to having the artistic ability of a wombat. I am trying to get better though! Hopefully when you look at the renders you will be able to guess which are my earliest attempts and which came later.

I accept that the story can be improved with tighter editing. Will try harder to curb my excesses.
I have been wondering about the animated backgrounds since I did them and they are obviously not a hit so I will remove those.
I do tend to overuse stock expressions. I am probably experienced enough with Daz now to try and create my own from scratch. Wish me luck.
Not a lot I can do about the writing style I am afraid. Some people seem to like it, others do not. If you don't, then I thank you for reading this far and wish you luck finding a writer more to your taste.
All the stuff which seems superfluous at the moment (Tube, Sophie's mum) will become more important as the game progresses. Lunchtime is just there to mark out that time is progressing. I could just put a big clock in the corner I suppose.
Agree that it should be made explicit that Sophie comes to work the next day. I was going to give her the day off but it didn't really do anything to progress the story. I forgot to replace the day off with some other form of closure though. Point taken.

The one comment I am having trouble with is the "Dead Fish" eyes. I quite like their eyes myself!
The story book pictures are pretty much like passport photos and I can see how the comment might apply there but could somebody post some examples of eyes they don't like from normal scenes (just the filename is fine) and maybe some renders of eyes they do like to help me understand this one?
 

kymico

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Nov 29, 2016
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Overall, I liked it. Looking forward to the next few updates to flesh out the storyline, direction and content.

I do want to cover a few of the negative items :

- MC's Dick. While getting a blowie from the goth housemaid was initially a really sexy scene with solid incentives... the uber dick was just ridiculous and KILLED the whole scene. Let's umm... get that under control. A big dick should be 8-12 inches and shouldn't be mistaken as a neck tie.

- Housemaid, I hope the outfits can be changed in later updates as the story progresses... I understand she's a goth but her face is reallly pale white... she looks like a mime.

- The eyes. In a number of renders the females are staring at me like I'm the one ring and whispering "My precious". Creepy. :) Can we ummm... reduce the eye size?
 
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Aug 16, 2017
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this reminded me of my past occupation as a hotel manager.....more so when the MC talks about all the women :D
that scene in the hospital made me giggle esp with the cross eyes

not a bad start...some design niggles but a whole lot better than some of the stuff we grab on this site.
the hint of cockney in the dialect was a nice touch :)
 

thecardinal

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Jul 28, 2017
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@FlipTopBin you could always reduce the size of the eyes in the shaping tab in Daz Studio. There is also a great asset by TwiztedMetal called 'Reflections' that you could use on the eyes too to give them some life. And some artists have really good eye and reflection shaders, Raiya and VirtualWorld come to mind. Good game so far!
 
Mar 24, 2018
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Overall, I liked it. Looking forward to the next few updates to flesh out the storyline, direction and content.

I do want to cover a few of the negative items :

- MC's Dick. While getting a blowie from the goth housemaid was initially a really sexy scene with solid incentives... the uber dick was just ridiculous and KILLED the whole scene. Let's umm... get that under control. A big dick should be 8-12 inches and shouldn't be mistaken as a neck tie.

- Housemaid, I hope the outfits can be changed in later updates as the story progresses... I understand she's a goth but her face is reallly pale white... she looks like a mime.

- The eyes. In a number of renders the females are staring at me like I'm the one ring and whispering "My precious". Creepy. :) Can we ummm... reduce the eye size?
I was going to post about the three problems in the game that actually bothered me, but I guess I just can't be arsed anymore since jayjay here emptied the bank on my exact thoughts.

So... Ditto.
 
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FlipTopBin

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Dec 5, 2017
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I may be being oversensitive here but I am beginiing to get the impression there is something about the eyes in my game that you guys may not like :)

I will try and tone it down a bit in the next update but personally I like them so they are not going away completely.

I *may* have gone slightly overboard with disk size but if I had made it much smaller I am sure I would be receiving complaints along the line of "The story says its big but thats just anatomically correct." So, I think I may be on to a looser here either way. You may just have to go for the "suspension of disbelief" here.

I will make sure the management have a word with Lucy about wearing too much makeup during working hours.

PS Thanks again for being my beta testers guys. I will try and incorperate some of your feedback into a 1.0a before moving on
 

Cornfield

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Donor
Oct 30, 2017
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I like the premise of this story and the characters.
I didn't have a problem with the eyes, but after all the comments I went back and took another look, I don't think they are that bad.
I do have a problem after the first week, I had the Monday bollocking from Christine about not keeping up meetings on finance and on the next day (and the day after), it became Groundhog Day.
 

FlipTopBin

Member
Game Developer
Dec 5, 2017
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0.1.1 released, changelog in the game directory

Yeah, if you don't keep up with the Admin they can get a bit relentless :)

The admin work, although a bit grindy, is one of the main drivers for the story lines though so I need to force people to do them. Soz

I think the two "you have been naughty" scenes are a bit of fun as well. At least the first time :)
 
4.40 star(s) 8 Votes