Ren'Py Reincarnotica [v0.05] [Polyrotix]

[Pagdor]

Speaking to the Dev of the game, I can see you have put in a lot of effort to create the story and artwork for this game. Ten out of ten for that. But you need an editor, and you need one really badly. Not because of errors in your text, but because I didn't read the bulk of it.
I love big complex stories with epic tales. If a book has less the 500 pages it had better be one of a series or I generally don't bother. I like slowly developing characters with lots of subtle shades to them.
Yet I skimmed the bulk of your game.
I realize this is a visual novel more than a game as such but there are a few things which really killed the mood for me.

Don't tell me something irrelevant several times. If its a plot point sure them me and tell me again just before I'll need it. But if it's just flavor text, keep it short and to the point and move on.
For example in the opening scene in the MMO when they are talking about talking in character. Its a nice bit of character interaction, but it slows the story down. it could just as easily be the King says to Crow. "You could try talking in character a bit more." and that's it end it there. Maybe show the Crow shrugging in the next frame.
Go over each and every statement and ask the critical question, does this need to be said? Can I drop it, or show it instead?

The next item is more of a game mechanic aspect. Please don't give us 1 option to click. Like "get up". If there isn't a second option, just move the story along. If we as players are given non-choices it reminds us that we are not playing, we are being railroaded.

I spent nearly 30 minutes just hitting enter to skip through the story, not reading it, just trying to get to a point where I was actually being asked to make a choice of some sort, or to see one of the characters that had caused me to download it in the first place. Heck it was 15 minutes before I even saw a female character. By the time I got to the Doctor and the two red headed ladies, I just saved and quit because I was bored.

I don't tell you this to discourage you, quite the reverse. I think this story has got some legs to it, but it'll only happen if you can balance that with interactivity. Otherwise don't do a "game" do a web comic.
I hope this helps and I look forward to the next version.

 

[Summer Love]

Ok, so I tried to get through this shit but that Intro is absolutely disgusting.

And no skip button? Wtf was that developer thinking? Who gives a fuck about this Sword Art:Online tier garbage? Give us those sexy milfs in the picture and cut the bullshit.

My fingers literally hurt from skipping through all of this garbage pointless dialogue.

EDIT - Oh, and here's the kicker. The only "semi" fappable content in the game, lasts 2 minutes.

So far, this game gets a hard pass from me. Pretty renders or not

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[kakhauf]

Ok, so I tried to get through this shit but that Intro is absolutely disgusting.

And no skip button? Wtf was that developer thinking? Who gives a fuck about this Sword Art:Online tier garbage? Give us those sexy milfs in the picture and cut the bullshit.

My fingers literally hurt from skipping through all of this garbage pointless dialogue.

EDIT - Oh, and here's the kicker. The only "semi" fappable content in the game, lasts 2 minutes.

So far, this game gets a hard pass from me. Pretty renders or not

Dude, use unren and activate the skipping of unseen content.
So is this fantasy shit or what? i'm not gonna waste my time with this then.

 

[Deleted member 308859]

Please put some NTR in it.

No

 

[Tarakis]

@Polyrotix Excellent 1st effort, I FOOKIN' LUVZ REDHEADS!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3 Dialogue is good (9 of 10), Renders and Models are Great (10 of 10), I even like the Doctor (Aanya). Intro to choices ((that matter) 8 of 10), just a bit to long on the MMO part (imho). Overall I givez itz 9 of 10. Keep it up and I pledged, so CCCCCHHHEEEIIIIIFFF be thou true to us!!!!

CHEERS (c)

 

[Darth Bane]

I know a hell of a lot of work must have gone into making this first chapter, but the backstory could have been condensed somewhat. I understand why the author took this route, but I feel a lot of people don't have the patience to go through all of that. Hopefully it doesn't throw too many people off because this has the potential to be an amazing game.

Eagerly looking forward to the next installment

 

[BeepsAndBoopsGodofRoboots]

As they say more is less, and you should try to express as much information in as few words as possible. This seems to be the literal opposite of that.

I'd like to say the writing is good, in that grammatically and spelling wise it works. But due to how over written it is and with how boring it gets it's hard to say that it's actually good. You lost not just me but a ton of people really fast in the intro alone.

Please for the love of god maybe this would have been a good intro if you kept to as few words as possible instead of cramming in an ungodly amount of text.

The renders are great, the character art is great, the MMO setting is boring and looks bland as hell. Hard to imagine something like this being popular or even being made really. But it's expected since its just an intro to a better game.

 

[Polyrotix]

Hey! Dev here back again!

Well, a Postmortem review for my Reincarnotica 0.01. Suffice to say, as the others put it, a "self-indulgent wannabe Ultime/SAO boring piece of shit game". I understand the sentiment and I quite agree on the criticisms posted on parts of the game that needs improving. I separate myself with my game and view it as what it is objectively. If others find it shit, there's no magic words for them to feel the other way. You just need to give a better product next time.

Overall, it's a nice motivation to do better for the 0.02 release and God forbid I do worse on that than 0.01. So what's next? Episode 2 will take place on the Fitzgerald's house so the writing's focus is much more into the "fun stuff" with them compared to the 0.01.

Also, a little bit of insight into the development of this game.

• What's with VR MMO world and stuff?

When I started developing the story of this game last year, two things came into my mind, I wanted there to be a modern slice-of-life action and I want players to fuck elves, demoness, and shit. This is was what came out of that and from that came the "reincarnation" aspect, the villain, the general plot line I conceived is mostly "done" even the way it ends.

The VR/MMO world will play a role much later in the story whereas the next 0.02+ updates takes place in real life.

• Yo! Your intro is boring as fuck!

People, I've been reading that same intro for the last few months. I goddamn know how it feels and with all that reading, I've somehow developed an immunity on it and thought "It isn't that bad...". IT WAS. You might've also noticed the [Way] some [Words] are "Written". It was a way for me to not get bored rereading whole paragraphs of text over and over again as it can catch my attention.

On the "It's just an Ultima Online/SAO-fanfic that the dev really wanted and just added erotic pics", it's quite opposite honestly. The idea started on "This guy reincarnated into this guy". How did that happen? Why did it happen? And it spiraled out of control as I wanted to have "logical steps" that got him into that point. I wrote it to be as "campy as fuck" to establish that this world is there and thriving and other stupid bullshit that came from my head. It also didn't help that I'm a massive fan of Korean VRMMO novels like "Legendary Moonlight Sculptor" or "Overgeared".

• The Postal/Mail influenced GUI

Ah, as cheesy as this sounds, my idea was "A love letter to the Adult Visual Novel games I love playing".

• What's next, homeboy?

First and foremost, I'll be adding three options in the beginning. Play the long intro version, skip to the hospital, and a summary of the events like 10 slides of the important plot points. What I really wanted next time is a ALPHA Tester. When I released this game, I didn't have any. It just went straight to MEGA. It's due to people reporting that they're unable to Rollback or can't "Space Bar Skip" new dialogues and I'm here confused because I can do that on the distributed version even with my friend's laptop. Also, revamp the preferences section to provide players much control.

So for now, I'll be reclusing myself developing the next version, trimming the intro and other stuff that the others have pointed out. I hope those who found the game shitty and boring now would check the next couple of versions when it comes out.

Cheers,
Polyrotix

 

[Memorin]

Hey! Dev here back again!...

The intro isn't bad, seriously. Maybe I'm just desensitized because I'm a avid Visual Novel fan who read over hundreds of VN in the past, but compared to epics like Clannad, Baldr Sky Dive, Fate/Stay Night and the like the length of your intro is like, JP level of standard. Also before you decide whether or not to accept these 'criticisms', remember what you want to develop: a story-porn or a porn-story? From what I can see from your intro you're probably going for the story first, porn second route, and if that's what you want then by all means go for it. I for one prefer good stories, and if it proves itself to an epic then all the better. Whatever you may decide, keep up the good work and hope to see another quality update from you soon!

Also you probably should post this in Reddit/Visual Novel (and other visual novel websites, also VNDB maybe?). There's no such thing as too much marketing and I suspect you'll find your REAL target audience there.

 

[Deleted member 308859]

That's why I believe you're a good developer, you listen to feedbacks and recognise the flaws in your product (the overrall quality is outstanding btw and I love your music choice).
The Isekai/VRMMO genre are a guilty pleasure of mine, but you went a bit overboard with the details (which is also a flaw of some of those novels) for the intro as most of us said.
I'm sure the next update will be amazing

 

[kinq06]

Oh wow. Dude, so much conversation.

 

[tblong123]

love the art <3

 

[Hyped]

Hey! Dev here back again!

Well, a Postmortem review for my Reincarnotica 0.01. Suffice to say, as the others put it, a "self-indulgent wannabe Ultime/SAO boring piece of shit game". I understand the sentiment and I quite agree on the criticisms posted on parts of the game that needs improving. I separate myself with my game and view it as what it is objectively. If others find it shit, there's no magic words for them to feel the other way. You just need to give a better product next time.

Overall, it's a nice motivation to do better for the 0.02 release and God forbid I do worse on that than 0.01. So what's next? Episode 2 will take place on the Fitzgerald's house so the writing's focus is much more into the "fun stuff" with them compared to the 0.01.

Also, a little bit of insight into the development of this game.

• What's with VR MMO world and stuff?

When I started developing the story of this game last year, two things came into my mind, I wanted there to be a modern slice-of-life action and I want players to fuck elves, demoness, and shit. This is was what came out of that and from that came the "reincarnation" aspect, the villain, the general plot line I conceived is mostly "done" even the way it ends.

The VR/MMO world will play a role much later in the story whereas the next 0.02+ updates takes place in real life.

• Yo! Your intro is boring as fuck!

People, I've been reading that same intro for the last few months. I goddamn know how it feels and with all that reading, I've somehow developed an immunity on it and thought "It isn't that bad...". IT WAS. You might've also noticed the [Way] some [Words] are "Written". It was a way for me to not get bored rereading whole paragraphs of text over and over again as it can catch my attention.

On the "It's just an Ultima Online/SAO-fanfic that the dev really wanted and just added erotic pics", it's quite opposite honestly. The idea started on "This guy reincarnated into this guy". How did that happen? Why did it happen? And it spiraled out of control as I wanted to have "logical steps" that got him into that point. I wrote it to be as "campy as fuck" to establish that this world is there and thriving and other stupid bullshit that came from my head. It also didn't help that I'm a massive fan of Korean VRMMO novels like "Legendary Moonlight Sculptor" or "Overgeared".

• The Postal/Mail influenced GUI

Ah, as cheesy as this sounds, my idea was "A love letter to the Adult Visual Novel games I love playing".

• What's next, homeboy?

First and foremost, I'll be adding three options in the beginning. Play the long intro version, skip to the hospital, and a summary of the events like 10 slides of the important plot points. What I really wanted next time is a ALPHA Tester. When I released this game, I didn't have any. It just went straight to MEGA. It's due to people reporting that they're unable to Rollback or can't "Space Bar Skip" new dialogues and I'm here confused because I can do that on the distributed version even with my friend's laptop. Also, revamp the preferences section to provide players much control.

So for now, I'll be reclusing myself developing the next version, trimming the intro and other stuff that the others have pointed out. I hope those who found the game shitty and boring now would check the next couple of versions when it comes out.

Cheers,
Polyrotix

Elf fucking? Dev just claimed that he knew the intro was boring as fuck and released it anyway? That doesn't sound like a reliable creator. This feels just like the 'Family Secret' intro, where the dev was overly enthusiastic but biting more than he could chew, except this one had no sex or teasing.

Dev's dilemma, the MMO visuals are the one thing that truly differentiates this from the average VN here. If the next episode turns out to be generic mother sister family incest sim, which it sounds like, he risks losing his current patrons. The reincarnated incest plot point sounds fancy, but is pointless - not quite doing it for incest fans and might get the Patreon ban hammer anyway.

He's got great artistic talent, which is why its a shame he hasn't thought the writing and concept through. Damn shame. I'd consider redoing the intro, since it certainly sounds like he doesn't like what he's created.

 

[Deleted member 59977]

Hey! Dev here back again!

Well, a Postmortem review for my Reincarnotica 0.01. Suffice to say, as the others put it, a "self-indulgent wannabe Ultime/SAO boring piece of shit game". I understand the sentiment and I quite agree on the criticisms posted on parts of the game that needs improving. I separate myself with my game and view it as what it is objectively. If others find it shit, there's no magic words for them to feel the other way. You just need to give a better product next time.

Overall, it's a nice motivation to do better for the 0.02 release and God forbid I do worse on that than 0.01. So what's next? Episode 2 will take place on the Fitzgerald's house so the writing's focus is much more into the "fun stuff" with them compared to the 0.01.

Also, a little bit of insight into the development of this game.

• What's with VR MMO world and stuff?

When I started developing the story of this game last year, two things came into my mind, I wanted there to be a modern slice-of-life action and I want players to fuck elves, demoness, and shit. This is was what came out of that and from that came the "reincarnation" aspect, the villain, the general plot line I conceived is mostly "done" even the way it ends.

The VR/MMO world will play a role much later in the story whereas the next 0.02+ updates takes place in real life.

• Yo! Your intro is boring as fuck!

People, I've been reading that same intro for the last few months. I goddamn know how it feels and with all that reading, I've somehow developed an immunity on it and thought "It isn't that bad...". IT WAS. You might've also noticed the [Way] some [Words] are "Written". It was a way for me to not get bored rereading whole paragraphs of text over and over again as it can catch my attention.

On the "It's just an Ultima Online/SAO-fanfic that the dev really wanted and just added erotic pics", it's quite opposite honestly. The idea started on "This guy reincarnated into this guy". How did that happen? Why did it happen? And it spiraled out of control as I wanted to have "logical steps" that got him into that point. I wrote it to be as "campy as fuck" to establish that this world is there and thriving and other stupid bullshit that came from my head. It also didn't help that I'm a massive fan of Korean VRMMO novels like "Legendary Moonlight Sculptor" or "Overgeared".

• The Postal/Mail influenced GUI

Ah, as cheesy as this sounds, my idea was "A love letter to the Adult Visual Novel games I love playing".

• What's next, homeboy?

First and foremost, I'll be adding three options in the beginning. Play the long intro version, skip to the hospital, and a summary of the events like 10 slides of the important plot points. What I really wanted next time is a ALPHA Tester. When I released this game, I didn't have any. It just went straight to MEGA. It's due to people reporting that they're unable to Rollback or can't "Space Bar Skip" new dialogues and I'm here confused because I can do that on the distributed version even with my friend's laptop. Also, revamp the preferences section to provide players much control.

So for now, I'll be reclusing myself developing the next version, trimming the intro and other stuff that the others have pointed out. I hope those who found the game shitty and boring now would check the next couple of versions when it comes out.

Cheers,
Polyrotix

Add the summary and the skip button and this will be an good 0.1 release. You should also look into a mac release. If its not too difficult to implement then it would be nice to have one I think.

The problem here was that the mmo stuff felt really unnecessary and the details were far too much. As a player we are immediately thrust into this mmo world and everything just looks like a meaningless bunch of nonsense. There was no buildup, worldbuilding etc. Usually in other medium that deals with these topics, we are gradually introduced to the world as a new player looking through the MCs eyes. Everytime the MC discovers something, we discover them with him and over time the world becomes more familiar. Here it is different. We are suddenly playing as a very experienced player. Maybe whats going on in the world makes sense to him because he is experienced but it makes 0 sense to us and what makes no sense is not interesting.

All this being said, I like the real life aspect of the story a lot more personally - I like the mystery and the unanswered questions - what was that 2d stuff with the chosen one, why did we end up in this guy's body, the guy whose body we now possess seemed like an ass so how will we turn their life around (since this guy was a high ranking engineer so he probably knows his shit), how will we deal with the corruption in the company, what is the role of the AI programs that you introduced etc. The reason I did not like the mmo aspect is because it has been overdone to death in anime/light novels I understand this is not your fault but thats just how it is. If you are bringing the game into the story I hope it is just as a medium to investigate the corruption or interact with the AI and not try to simply get powerful in the MMO to increase the size of your e-penis in a virtual world. I guess what Im trying to say is I am personally a lot more interested in the real world than the virtual world but I understand its your story to tell - I just hope that if you introduce the MMO stuff in the future it will be done in a better way.

Good Luck with your project.

 

[Polyrotix]

Elf fucking? Dev just claimed that he knew the intro was boring as fuck and released it anyway? That doesn't sound like a reliable creator. This feels just like the 'Family Secret' intro, where the dev was overly enthusiastic but biting more than he could chew, except this one had no sex or teasing.

Dev's dilemma, the MMO visuals are the one thing that truly differentiates this from the average VN here. If the next episode turns out to be generic mother sister family incest sim, which it sounds like, he risks losing his current patrons. The reincarnated incest plot point sounds fancy, but is pointless - not quite doing it for incest fans and might get the Patreon ban hammer anyway.

He's got great artistic talent, which is why its a shame he hasn't thought the writing and concept through. Damn shame. I'd consider redoing the intro, since it certainly sounds like he doesn't really like what he's created.

*sigh*

I don't even know where to begin. This post assumes too much about me and some thing's are just plainly wrong.

First, the MC here isn't related by blood to the redheads and I know Patreon's stance on Incest nowadays.

Second, when I said boring, I mean reading continuous lines of text boring that people who download erotic games for the purpose of fapping aren't fond of, some do but most don't.

Third, I can layout the plot, what events would possibly transpire, the villain and how it relates to the MMO to anyone BUT that defeats the purpose of telling a story, doesn't it? That's why I don't say much of that.

Fourth, Milfy City is generic as it gets but it doesn't stop people from liking it. The next episodes that takes place explores the past of who the MC is now and also, it's an erotic game. There needs to be sexual content.

Finally, what kind of dev wouldn't like his own creation even if it's bad? This is a labor of love personally and is still a 0.01, it will be lacking in many areas but as I go developing this game, I will tweak and polish some aspects of it at every iteration and ultimately create a good game.

Have a great day.

 

[Memorin]

Add the summary and the skip button and this will be an good 0.1 release. You should also look into a mac release. If its not too difficult to implement then it would be nice to have one I think.

The problem here was that the mmo stuff felt really unnecessary and the details were far too much. As a player we are immediately thrust into this mmo world and everything just looks like a meaningless bunch of nonsense. There was no buildup, worldbuilding etc. Usually in other medium that deals with these topics, we are gradually introduced to the world as a new player looking through the MCs eyes. Everytime the MC discovers something, we discover them with him and over time the world becomes more familiar. Here it is different. We are suddenly playing as a very experienced player. Maybe whats going on in the world makes sense to him because he is experienced but it makes 0 sense to us and what makes no sense is not interesting.

All this being said, I like the real life aspect of the story a lot more personally - I like the mystery and the unanswered questions - what was that 2d stuff with the chosen one, why did we end up in this guy's body, the guy whose body we now possess seemed like an ass so how will we turn their life around (since this guy was a high ranking engineer so he probably knows his shit), how will we deal with the corruption in the company, what is the role of the AI programs that you introduced etc. The reason I did not like the mmo aspect is because it has been overdone to death in anime/light novels I understand this is not your fault but thats just how it is. If you are bringing the game into the story I hope it is just as a medium to investigate the corruption or interact with the AI and not try to simply get powerful in the MMO to increase the size of your e-penis in a virtual world. I guess what Im trying to say is I am personally a lot more interested in the real world than the virtual world but I understand its your story to tell - I just hope that if you introduce the MMO stuff in the future it will be done in a better way.

Good Luck with your project.

Yes, it's like how you know exactly how the world of Game of Thrones work when you're first introduced to it, right?

 

[Hyped]

*sigh*

I don't even know where to begin. This post assumes too much about me and some thing's are just plainly wrong.

First, the MC here isn't related by blood to the redheads and I know Patreon's stance on Incest nowadays.

Second, when I said boring, I mean reading continuous lines of text boring that people who download erotic games for the purpose of fapping aren't fond of, some do but most don't.

Third, I can layout the plot, what events would possibly transpire, the villain and how it relates to the MMO to anyone BUT that defeats the purpose of telling a story, doesn't it? That's why I don't say much of that.

Fourth, Milfy City is generic as it gets but it doesn't stop people from liking it. The next episodes that takes place explores the past of who the MC is now and also, it's an erotic game. There needs to be sexual content.

Finally, what kind of dev wouldn't like his own creation even if it's bad? This is a labor of love personally and is still a 0.01, it will be lacking in many areas but as I go developing this game, I will tweak and polish some aspects of it at every iteration and ultimately create a good game.

Have a great day.

"even if it's bad" - if you think it's bad, wouldn't you want it fixed? The intro is the most vital part of your vn. Let's say you somehow end up with a stellar chapter 2, a bad intro though would reduce your chances of success quite a bit. If you think its bad and yet want to move hastily onto the next release, honestly, that doesn't reflect well on you as a dev.

Milfy city knows its genre well, and isn't trying hard to differentiate. It feels polished. The dev was trustworthy and had an existing fan base that he'd built over a year.

I'm not saying people won't like it if you go generic, just that you'll lose the one thing that's got you some attention right now - the juxtaposition of your visuals, and the uniqueness of the mmo fantasy daz assets.

You'll need to clear with yourself about the game you want to do, and whether you want it to be successful on patreon. If you don't care about funding, you're free to do whatever you like, but I have a feeling that's not the case. It'll be much harder to fix down the road, hence the advice. You've got great design skills, so I'll be following what you're doing regardless, and consider becoming a patron after your next update.

 

[Vertigob]

mac?

 

[fsap1]

It's hard to see people talking shit about something you put so much effort on, but the dev took it pretty well and showed he listens and is willing to make changes. I don't see a reason to keep bashing the game, let's wait and see what he does next.

 

[PixelRepublic]

Hey! Dev here back again!

Well, a Postmortem review for my Reincarnotica 0.01. Suffice to say, as the others put it, a "self-indulgent wannabe Ultime/SAO boring piece of shit game". I understand the sentiment and I quite agree on the criticisms posted on parts of the game that needs improving. I separate myself with my game and view it as what it is objectively. If others find it shit, there's no magic words for them to feel the other way. You just need to give a better product next time.

Overall, it's a nice motivation to do better for the 0.02 release and God forbid I do worse on that than 0.01. So what's next? Episode 2 will take place on the Fitzgerald's house so the writing's focus is much more into the "fun stuff" with them compared to the 0.01.

Also, a little bit of insight into the development of this game.

• What's with VR MMO world and stuff?

When I started developing the story of this game last year, two things came into my mind, I wanted there to be a modern slice-of-life action and I want players to fuck elves, demoness, and shit. This is was what came out of that and from that came the "reincarnation" aspect, the villain, the general plot line I conceived is mostly "done" even the way it ends.

The VR/MMO world will play a role much later in the story whereas the next 0.02+ updates takes place in real life.

• Yo! Your intro is boring as fuck!

People, I've been reading that same intro for the last few months. I goddamn know how it feels and with all that reading, I've somehow developed an immunity on it and thought "It isn't that bad...". IT WAS. You might've also noticed the [Way] some [Words] are "Written". It was a way for me to not get bored rereading whole paragraphs of text over and over again as it can catch my attention.

On the "It's just an Ultima Online/SAO-fanfic that the dev really wanted and just added erotic pics", it's quite opposite honestly. The idea started on "This guy reincarnated into this guy". How did that happen? Why did it happen? And it spiraled out of control as I wanted to have "logical steps" that got him into that point. I wrote it to be as "campy as fuck" to establish that this world is there and thriving and other stupid bullshit that came from my head. It also didn't help that I'm a massive fan of Korean VRMMO novels like "Legendary Moonlight Sculptor" or "Overgeared".

• The Postal/Mail influenced GUI

Ah, as cheesy as this sounds, my idea was "A love letter to the Adult Visual Novel games I love playing".

• What's next, homeboy?

First and foremost, I'll be adding three options in the beginning. Play the long intro version, skip to the hospital, and a summary of the events like 10 slides of the important plot points. What I really wanted next time is a ALPHA Tester. When I released this game, I didn't have any. It just went straight to MEGA. It's due to people reporting that they're unable to Rollback or can't "Space Bar Skip" new dialogues and I'm here confused because I can do that on the distributed version even with my friend's laptop. Also, revamp the preferences section to provide players much control.

So for now, I'll be reclusing myself developing the next version, trimming the intro and other stuff that the others have pointed out. I hope those who found the game shitty and boring now would check the next couple of versions when it comes out.

Cheers,
Polyrotix

As much as I myself was harsh with my criticism, I'm glad you've tried to see it and that from others, as a positive (even though some was nastier than needed) and are not giving up.

The actual story with the mother and daughter seemed promising and something I'd love to see more of. I look forward to seeing what you produce.