5.00 star(s) 7 Votes

JigglySquish

Newbie
Game Developer
Oct 1, 2023
74
119
I have some honest open feedback from a brain injured, heterosexual man who has never fantasized about becoming a woman.
First this is not a type of game I normally find arousing however sometimes the writing just works and a little excitement ensues. Firefly by Piers Anthony is a clear example which I read 33 odd years ago would be a prime example of the train wreck that you can't look away from as you get excited by the words even though they are not actual sex.
Second the user interface needs a way to go back (several html games use an arrow button) even if you limit the going back to after the last choice (such as I chose spice and blah blah oops missed the end of that gotta go back and review what happened after I made the choice but the choice itself is locked)
Third again on the user interface you need to allow clicking more than just the "golden text" because any excitement I might have built up goes away as I'm trying to locate the right spot to click.
Fourth brain injury makes it hard for me to read (I used to finish a 300-1000 page book everyday now I can read very slowly if the writing is good) and pictures of the people taking part in the text and actions happening would really help (everyone not just me). PS your writing is incredibly enticing making me want to keep reading even if I should be sleeping.
I hope you carry on this work and bring it to the completed ending and on into your future games. I suspect I know the eventual outcome when the week ends and I will not ruin it with my guess.
Hey circularity! Thank you very much! I am glad you enjoyed the writing, even if the content isn't in your normal wheelhouse!

You bring up a bunch of excellent points, so I'm going to address them in sequence!

Point 2: A Back Button
This is in the works and should be implemented in the next release, along with a scrollbar to control where you are in the current chapter. I'm using Ink, the text engine, in an odd way, so I have to rewrite the front-end to support that kind of thing.​
It is in the works!​

Points 3: Clicking on Other Things

This one is interesting, because there are keyboard controls! Hitting the number button that corresponds to one of the choices will choose that choice, and if there is only one choice (as is most of the time), hitting space will advance the story.​
I used to have a message for that in the introductory text, but I took it out!​
I will put that back in, but for people who can only use a mouse, or are on their phone I need another solution. If you (or anyone else) have any ideas, let me know.​

Point 4: Pictures for the characters in the current scene!
This is also in the works, but is going much slower. My plan is to create a version of this game in Unreal or Godot (probably Unreal - the lighting is better), and have live 3D characters of the protagonist and the NPCs.​
This was originally to solve the combinatoric explosion problem in terms of art. Candy and Riley have, by the end of the story, 256 possible combinations of transformations each, and that's ignoring changes in hairstyle and clothing, which I would also like to depict. Even just having a single static image of them would be an enormous undertaking, but I would also really like to show certain key scenes and reactions - and doing that and accounting for all the variations was not viable.​
So having 3D models solves a lot of those problems.​
That's in the works, it's just slow because... well... I'm writing all the time, so I haven't been able to dedicate much time to it.​

Thanks so much for your feedback, I really appreciate it.

hmm good feedback for the go back ui, can be implemented at the upper ui areas beside save, for the "golden text", it might be a good idea to add a hotkey like enter to just go to the next page without clicking on the text
Both good points! Like I mentioned, spacebar already does advance the text, but I really need to tell people about that!

Thanks to you as well!
 
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cryptic12345

Member
Mar 19, 2022
136
48
Hey circularity! Thank you very much! I am glad you enjoyed the writing, even if the content isn't in your normal wheelhouse!

You bring up a bunch of excellent points, so I'm going to address them in sequence!

Point 2: A Back Button
This is in the works and should be implemented in the next release, along with a scrollbar to control where you are in the current chapter. I'm using Ink, the text engine, in an odd way, so I have to rewrite the front-end to support that kind of thing.​
It is in the works!​

Points 3: Clicking on Other Things

This one is interesting, because there are keyboard controls! Hitting the number button that corresponds to one of the choices will choose that choice, and if there is only one choice (as is most of the time), hitting space will advance the story.​
I used to have a message for that in the introductory text, but I took it out!​
I will put that back in, but for people who can only use a mouse, or are on their phone I need another solution. If you (or anyone else) have any ideas, let me know.​

Point 4: Pictures for the characters in the current scene!
This is also in the works, but is going much slower. My plan is to create a version of this game in Unreal or Godot (probably Unreal - the lighting is better), and have live 3D characters of the protagonist and the NPCs.​
This was originally to solve the combinatoric explosion problem in terms of art. Candy and Riley have, by the end of the story, 256 possible combinations of transformations each, and that's ignoring changes in hairstyle and clothing, which I would also like to depict. Even just having a single static image of them would be an enormous undertaking, but I would also really like to show certain key scenes and reactions - and doing that and accounting for all the variations was not viable.​
So having 3D models solves a lot of those problems.​
That's in the works, it's just slow because... well... I'm writing all the time, so I haven't been able to dedicate much time to it.​

Thanks so much for your feedback, I really appreciate it.



Both good points! Like I mentioned, spacebar already does advance the text, but I really need to tell people about that!

Thanks to you as well!
since its a html, should be easy to add a small icon at the bottom right that wont obstruct text that will turn to next page by clicking/tapping, and cuz it is always in the same place despite scrolling down, people can just position their cursor/finger on it without moving
 

circuitarity

Active Member
Jul 3, 2019
580
509
Both good points! Like I mentioned, spacebar already does advance the text, but I really need to tell people about that!

Thanks to you as well!
I had tried previously with no effect (almost all computer novels have that as a primary feature) if it had worked previously I wouldn't have mentioned it so... call this solved.
Other thing I wanted to ask/confirm: I hope you aren't recycling writing from one person to the other. If Riley has the mind control thing and Kitten says "X" (trying to avoid actual spoilers so I'm not going into details of what happened) in the 1 route of the story then if Kitten has the mind control thing Riley should not suggest "X" again but should instead come up with her own version to respond with even if it comes to the same answer. Two people should each think entirely different ways and therefore in the opposite scene of any event they should have different responses (just my 2 cents having only tried the game one play through).
 

JigglySquish

Newbie
Game Developer
Oct 1, 2023
74
119
I had tried previously with no effect (almost all computer novels have that as a primary feature) if it had worked previously I wouldn't have mentioned it so... call this solved.
Other thing I wanted to ask/confirm: I hope you aren't recycling writing from one person to the other. If Riley has the mind control thing and Kitten says "X" (trying to avoid actual spoilers so I'm not going into details of what happened) in the 1 route of the story then if Kitten has the mind control thing Riley should not suggest "X" again but should instead come up with her own version to respond with even if it comes to the same answer. Two people should each think entirely different ways and therefore in the opposite scene of any event they should have different responses (just my 2 cents having only tried the game one play through).

Riley and the MC react to events very differently!

That said, not every choice creates entirely unique events. Choices 3, 4, and 7 are 'branching' choices, in that they create entirely unique branches. Choices 1, 2, 5 and 6 are 'decorative' choices, in that they alter events within scenes, but don't completely alter all subsequent events.

This means there are four primary 'routes' through the game:

  • Cow / Tattoo
  • Cow / Lips
  • Ditzy / Tattoo
  • Ditzy Lips
Each one of those are fully unique, and will have two endings.

I'd have liked to fully branch with every choice... but doing that would have resulted in 256 endings, and it would take ten years to finish the game.

I should make an infographic for this and include it in the game...
 

circuitarity

Active Member
Jul 3, 2019
580
509
Riley and the MC react to events very differently!

That said, not every choice creates entirely unique events. Choices 3, 4, and 7 are 'branching' choices, in that they create entirely unique branches. Choices 1, 2, 5 and 6 are 'decorative' choices, in that they alter events within scenes, but don't completely alter all subsequent events.

This means there are four primary 'routes' through the game:

  • Cow / Tattoo
  • Cow / Lips
  • Ditzy / Tattoo
  • Ditzy Lips
Each one of those are fully unique, and will have two endings.

I'd have liked to fully branch with every choice... but doing that would have resulted in 256 endings, and it would take ten years to finish the game.

I should make an infographic for this and include it in the game...
4 eventual endings is already awesome and it's great that you realized different people should react differently to a reversed situation. I am quite interested in further developments in this game even though it falls outside my normal kinks (I do love playing females being corrupted but have never really liked the whole sex change man to woman thing). As soon as he gets female genitals it changes from a male protagonist to a female at least in my mind.
 

Briheas

Newbie
Nov 21, 2021
71
86
This is an amazingly well written story. I especially like how self-aware the main characters are of how abnormal everything is, and the fact that this is constantly reinforced by the characters really highlights how horrific this is. It really makes me want to root for the main characters and hope they come out of this ordeal fine, or at least as fine as one can be after surviving a creepypasta. I cannot wait to see how this ends.

I'd recommend this anyone, even those not interested in these kinks. Arguably, I'd recommend it even more to those who aren't interested - The disconnect between a reader who is not turned on by this and the characters who are (at least momentarily) enjoying it may help to highlight the creepiness and horror of the story even more.
 

cryptic12345

Member
Mar 19, 2022
136
48
Just realised u can just skip text on pc with space button, did the game mention it at the main menu, if no then it should at least mention that hotkey
 
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JigglySquish

Newbie
Game Developer
Oct 1, 2023
74
119
Just realised u can just skip text on pc with space button, did the game mention it at the main menu, if no then it should at least mention that hotkey
I'm going to make an infographic for the keyboard controls and include it in the technical update that should be out the end of next week. There used to be a note about the controls in the main menu, but I must have removed it at some point, and not replaced it with info elsewhere.

My bad, and thanks for the heads up!
 

JigglySquish

Newbie
Game Developer
Oct 1, 2023
74
119
The content poll for March is up on Patreon! You do not need to be a patron to vote!



Also, I spent this afternoon adding a chapter progress bar, and the keyboard commands for moving forward and backward. It's not quite done yet, but it will look something like this:

image.png
 

cryptic12345

Member
Mar 19, 2022
136
48
The "progress bar" concept is interesting....l reckon u can swipe it from left to right and one day just able to skip to the page needed by scrolling the sidebar
 

JigglySquish

Newbie
Game Developer
Oct 1, 2023
74
119
Yep! That's the idea! It does make navigating the story a lot easier, even when I'm just testing things. : )
 

profsji

Newbie
Feb 25, 2023
16
12
This was really fucking hot! But I'm not that good of a reviewer and sleep-deprived from staying up too late playing it yesterday, so I'll leave it at that.

Currently doing some Replace Alls on the names because of IRL similarities. Words and phrases tend to get stuck in my head and I don't want to accidentally make a habit of remembering porn every time I talk to someone. Maybe it would be a good idea for this sort of game to publish a list of all names up front (in docs if not in-game) so players can ctrl+H them right from the get-go. I'm hoping I didn't introduce bugs by doing it this way; obviously I'll have missed any mumbled or garbled versions of names..
 
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JigglySquish

Newbie
Game Developer
Oct 1, 2023
74
119
Heylo everyone!

It is TECHNICAL UPDATE DAY!

Hurrah!

This technical update contains upgrades to the keyboard shortcuts, the addition of a 'back' button, the addition of a progression bar, and rewrite basically all the front-end javascript!

The keyboard shortcuts work like this now:

infographic_keyboard_controls.jpg

The file is .
 

Bingus Bongus

Newbie
Jun 12, 2023
26
69
Found this just the other day. A lot of the kinks aren't my thing, but I'm truly impressed how well integrated all the branches are. The tone is also much less dark than I expected going in. Riley and "Candy" doing their best to take care of each other through the madness is heartwarming.

Well done, I'm hooked and looking forward to updates.
 
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JigglySquish

Newbie
Game Developer
Oct 1, 2023
74
119
Hurray! Hurray! It's update day!

This month we have the public release of Chapter 5 for Ditzy / Tattoo.

There's some fun fallout from the previous chapter in this one. Riley claiming you as her own is not without consequences!

This chapter clocks in at about 25k words, so there's lots of delicious fun to dig into.

Found this just the other day. A lot of the kinks aren't my thing, but I'm truly impressed how well integrated all the branches are. The tone is also much less dark than I expected going in. Riley and "Candy" doing their best to take care of each other through the madness is heartwarming.

Well done, I'm hooked and looking forward to updates.
Thanks so much Bingus! I hope you like the new update!
 
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JigglySquish

Newbie
Game Developer
Oct 1, 2023
74
119
Any reason this has the "Others" engine prefix and not "HTML"?
I initially put it down as 'Ink', which the name of the scripting language that I'm using. Ink can run in a variety of places - it runs in Javascript (which is what the HTML version of the game uses), but it also has C#, and C++ implementations that you can use in Godot, Unreal, or Unity.

So, while currently there is only an HTML version, I am planning on (hopefully this month) creating an Unreal version of this game - so technically there will be multiple versions of it, and I don't think there's a 'Multiple' category.
 
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trashacc123

New Member
Nov 21, 2019
13
19
Great game and fantastic writing!

Here are a couple minor things I noticed during my play-through. Perhaps you want to take a look at them.

Typos & misc:
"It is, perhaps, a little shorter then before, slightly thinner too."
"Lucas, who's cock you're allowed to suck."
"You are a lot smaller then she is, but way bigger then you were a few minutes ago "
"Just made a bit more of a mess then usual"
"nothing is more sexy then someone"
"Riley's a lot better at playing with boobs then Kasha was"
"You drape it around your and totter out after her into the living room."
"I talked to Riley, and Before she went"
"After you're entirely normal and not weird at all masturbation interlude"
"Inspect the tatoo"
"I'm cheap," (, instead of .)
"he bends you the toilet"
"Explain agin"
"Who's are you?"
"You between your coffee, where the milk has made it a nice warm brown, and Riley's enormous, beautiful boobs."
"Of god please!?!"
"sighs Rileym, wincing."
"flushed pussybeneath your hard"
""I have too?"
"the side.It's a little awkward"
"looking at porn of two of the two of you."
"Riley told you not too."
"The sex you were looking forward too. "
"Your second client is quite a bit different then Penny. "
"You are even more beautiful then your profile image. "
"You wonder if the shoes have done anything too her other then make her taller"
"He deserves more of an explanation then that. "
"As much of any of this"
"Delicous"


Missing commas:
"Into the tub Candy"
"Get into the tub Candy"
"That's all dear."
"A blowjob, if that's cool Candy."
"Thanks Candy"
"Have a good one Candy"
"What do you think Candy?"
"Dammit Em, see?"
"Good night Candy"
"Oh f-fuck Kitten!"
[...]
The 'missing comma in a direct address' appears often. It's easy to remember if you think about the good old 'let's eat grandma!' vs. 'let's eat, grandma!'.

Pronoun inconsistencies (maybe):
"i dont' trust dr. shine, but these are their toys, and they seem to know about how they work"
"Say what you will about DOCTOR SHINE, but he makes quality products."
"if Doctor Shine keeps up his end of the bargain"
"Whoever 'Doctor Shine' is, they can't be monitoring it, right"


Links sometimes have punctuation marks at the end, often they don't:
"Look at the vending machine."
"This is all going to be fine"
"Wait, what?"

COCKSOCKET:
"folds of your cock socket"
"you lay back down on your futon, holding the cock socket"
"Your cocksocket tingles"
"revealing your glistening cocksocket"
"your cocksocket is still there, right where it was"

Inconsistent capitalization of Owner/owner (after a certain point in the story)
"you want to be good for your Owner"
"Riley, your Owner"
"Your owner lets out a low groan from beside you"
"Milk your owner"
[...]

Edit: added some more
 
Last edited:

JigglySquish

Newbie
Game Developer
Oct 1, 2023
74
119
Great game and fantastic writing!

Here are a couple minor things I noticed during my play-through. Perhaps you want to take a look at them.

Typos:
"It is, perhaps, a little shorter then before, slightly thinner too."
"Lucas, who's cock you're allowed to suck."

Missing commas:
"Into the tub Candy"
"Get into the tub Candy"
"That's all dear."
"A blowjob, if that's cool Candy."
"Thanks Candy"
"Have a good one Candy"
"What do you think Candy?"
"Dammit Em, see?"
"Good night Candy"
[...]
The 'missing comma in a direct address' appears often. It's easy to remember if you think about the good old 'let's eat grandma!' vs. 'let's eat, grandma!'.

Pronoun inconsistencies (maybe):
"i dont' trust dr. shine, but these are their toys, and they seem to know about how they work"
"Say what you will about DOCTOR SHINE, but he makes quality products."
"if Doctor Shine keeps up his end of the bargain"
"Whoever 'Doctor Shine' is, they can't be monitoring it, right"


Links sometimes have punctuation marks at the end, often they don't:
"Look at the vending machine."
"This is all going to be fine"
"Wait, what?"
Thanks trashacc! I'll be sure to fix those in the next technical update, which should be out in two weeks or so.
 
5.00 star(s) 7 Votes