[VN] [Ren'Py] Locked Away [Ep. 1a] [Bitter Strawman]

4.00 star(s) 1 Vote
Sep 18, 2018
36
63
#42
Good first release!
Some constructive critisism:

Some strange dialog here and there.
The MC is kinda a big DICK in the first 5min, and is just really rude, and it does not really fit in to the rest of the dialog.
Also this part could use a slight tweak imho:
When MC get asked if he wants to have sex with the redhead, he just goes something like "Do it". There is no "chock" or questioning, or even a slight apprehension, to this question from no where. Some more dialog, one or two more sentances, would make that feel more natural than it is atm.
Animations are ok, a bit "doll like" on some of them.
Especially the BJ in the café. It kinda looks like hes getting a BJ from a corpse

But all in all, good supsense/story. Good amount of content for a first release, and it makes me want to come back and check out the next episode!
Good work!


*EDIT* Spoilers got removed for some reason, their back now tho
 
Feb 7, 2019
27
103
#45
Some strange dialog here and there.
The MC is kinda a big DICK in the first 5min, and is just really rude, and it does not really fit in to the rest of the dialog.
Noted. I'll do my best in the next episode.
Animations are ok, a bit "doll like" on some of them.
Especially the BJ in the café. It kinda looks like hes getting a BJ from a corpse
Uncanny valley is a bitch, but with software and hardware like that I have I cannot guarantee my animation skills will progress so rapidly. Still, I'll do my best as well.
 
May 24, 2017
37
31
#48
For some reason on the kazumi olga route, olga executes you after talking to monika even if you don't take the choice to bring up her daughter. Is she supposed to do that if you even remotely mention her daughter or is it a bug?
 

rodneyeatme

Well-Known Member
Jul 19, 2017
547
1,301
#49
I really liked that even though there weren't many choices, the ones you got seemed to really matter and the person you are interacting with doesn't give away the "right" answer via facial expression or dialog most or all of the time. After peeking at the script, I'm not sure cataloging all choices in a numerical list is brazen confidence or a recipe for insanity, if this goes past, like, five updates.

Some of the renders were really good. A couple that weren't stood out and makes me ask if you are on the Daz public beta release and using the denoiser? If not, things like the noise in low light scenes, especially around (if I remember correctly) a florescent light would get smoothed right out after 600-800 iterations.

The MC being a cipher works in this story. MC and Elsa getting amnesia about Sebastian doesn't. I was also puzzled why MC didn't bat an eyelash over "superpowers". Might be part of the plot, or might be something to consider.

Anyway, I appreciated the very long 0.1. Good luck going forward.
 

L7Bear

Active Member
May 29, 2017
143
111
#50
Not sure how far I am into the game, but it just took a bizarre turn for no apparent reason:
The MC just showed up at Kazumi's studio, and I was given a choice between telling her directly or rephrasing it somehow.
I told her directly, because I wanted to know what I was telling her. I didn't know of anything the MC had to say to her.
The MC told her that part of the deal to save Elsa's coffee shop was that Kazumi took on an apprentice.
That totally wasn't part of any deal.
I'm not even sure who the apprentice could be.
The deal with Olga was that the coffee shop would remain open just to piss off the mayor, and no deal was cut with the mayor.
I'm guessing this is a bug/glitch/something.

note: I see in the comments above that there are some bugs in loading/reloading.
I haven't loaded or reloaded, just started playing the game and that's as far as I have gotten.
 
Feb 7, 2019
27
103
#52
For some reason on the kazumi olga route, olga executes you after talking to monika even if you don't take the choice to bring up her daughter. Is she supposed to do that if you even remotely mention her daughter or is it a bug?
If you chose to go to Diana first, and then used option "Mention her daughter" talking with Olga - you're dead no matter what. Otherwise it could be a bug. It that so - PM me your savefile I'll recheck if something wrong. Thank you.

Not sure how far I am into the game, but it just took a bizarre turn for no apparent reason:
The MC just showed up at Kazumi's studio, and I was given a choice between telling her directly or rephrasing it somehow.
I told her directly, because I wanted to know what I was telling her. I didn't know of anything the MC had to say to her.
The MC told her that part of the deal to save Elsa's coffee shop was that Kazumi took on an apprentice.
That totally wasn't part of any deal.
I'm not even sure who the apprentice could be.
The deal with Olga was that the coffee shop would remain open just to piss off the mayor, and no deal was cut with the mayor.
I'm guessing this is a bug/glitch/something.

note: I see in the comments above that there are some bugs in loading/reloading.
I haven't loaded or reloaded, just started playing the game and that's as far as I have gotten.
There were a bug with showing that scene without reason. Patch 1a actually fixes it. If you haven't downloaded patch archive or prepatched 1a edition (links are replaced for last 8 hours I guess) - you can download it here.
you have to extract this to "game" folder and replace "script.rpyc" file. If fixes Kazumi scene and savegame bugs.
If you used patched edition and still got a problem - PM me your savegame, I will try to check the problem.
I'm sorry for the inconvenience.
 
Likes: L7Bear
Feb 7, 2019
27
103
#54
I really liked that even though there weren't many choices, the ones you got seemed to really matter and the person you are interacting with doesn't give away the "right" answer via facial expression or dialog most or all of the time. After peeking at the script, I'm not sure cataloging all choices in a numerical list is brazen confidence or a recipe for insanity, if this goes past, like, five updates.
I simply think that a choice with an obvious answer isn't really choice. However I do worry about some choices may seem not so logical to players (at least because they don't have all character's personal traits in head), but I put those that are logical to characters themselves, considering their traits, traumas and neurosis.
What's with the list actually? I don't get your point, sorry, maybe that's because of my poor language skills.


Some of the renders were really good. A couple that weren't stood out and makes me ask if you are on the Daz public beta release and using the denoiser? If not, things like the noise in low light scenes, especially around (if I remember correctly) a florescent light would get smoothed right out after 600-800 iterations.
It's been a long time rendering from GT755M through 1060-3 through 1070 without denoised and then with it. All types of renders are in the game. Biggest part is rendered in 500-700 iterations in 3000x1688, put through Median Filter and then downsampled to 1080p. However all future updates will use denoiser, cause it's a huge help.
The MC being a cipher works in this story. MC and Elsa getting amnesia about Sebastian doesn't. I was also puzzled why MC didn't bat an eyelash over "superpowers". Might be part of the plot, or might be something to consider.
Noted for future updates. Thank you. Appreciate your help.
 
Likes: L7Bear
May 24, 2017
37
31
#56
Sorry for wasting your time a little there, here's hoping that was just me being sleep deprived. Now that that's out of the way I'd just like to say that I really enjoyed this first episode, the story is a great hook and the choices were all from my perspective logical if you pay attention to the characters.
 

rodneyeatme

Well-Known Member
Jul 19, 2017
547
1,301
#57
What's with the list actually? I don't get your point, sorry, maybe that's because of my poor language skills.
Just talking about how you've got every decision assigned as an element of an array (python calls them lists), like "choice[5]". After you've got 50 choices, I can see it becoming difficult to keep track, though I'm sure you've got a cheat sheet somewhere.
 

QV

New Member
Nov 7, 2017
1
0
#58
Don't really care (use a dedicated system outside my network for playing/checking stuff) ;)

Claiming it's a fake positive doesn't solve the 'fact', only solutions are a rebuild avoiding the problem or contacting avira (sew the bastards or force them to start a dedicated whitelist!)
Quarantined by Malwarebytes as well:
MachineLearning/Anomalous.96%
This detection is Malwarebytes’ generic detection name for files that are flagged by Malwarebytes’ Machine Learning module as 100% anomalous. You may also see lower percentages in your scan results. The percentage is used to show how big the deviation from the examined file is from the legitimate files in the training set. Where a percentage of 100% means they look completely dissimilar from our training set of legitimate files.
 
Feb 7, 2019
27
103
#59
Quarantined by Malwarebytes as well:
MachineLearning/Anomalous.96%
This detection is Malwarebytes’ generic detection name for files that are flagged by Malwarebytes’ Machine Learning module as 100% anomalous. You may also see lower percentages in your scan results. The percentage is used to show how big the deviation from the examined file is from the legitimate files in the training set. Where a percentage of 100% means they look completely dissimilar from our training set of legitimate files.
Damn, that would be difficult to solve as far as I'm not aware what seems to be the problem.
 

L7Bear

Active Member
May 29, 2017
143
111
#60
There were a bug with showing that scene without reason. Patch 1a actually fixes it. If you haven't downloaded patch archive or prepatched 1a edition (links are replaced for last 8 hours I guess) - you can download it here.
you have to extract this to "game" folder and replace "script.rpyc" file. If fixes Kazumi scene and savegame bugs.
If you used patched edition and still got a problem - PM me your savegame, I will try to check the problem.
I'm sorry for the inconvenience.
Successfully patched and fixed the glitch. Thank you!
 

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4.00 star(s) 1 Vote