Ren'Py Abandoned Jack Hall Revenge [v0.4.0] [Praline]

[7767]

Overview:
You are Jack Hall, a young cop from Sun City fresh out of the academy. You've been through hard time. Your parents have been killed and your aunt and uncle too. You have choose to go overseas in an army unit. After 5 years you're back in town seeking revenge.

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Thread Updated: 2019-03-11
Release Date: 2019-03-11
Developer: Praline
Censored: No
Version: 0.4.0
OS: Windows, Mac
Language: English/French
Genre:

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Installation:

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[Ennoch]

Will there be policewomen in this? Whom we can ..ehrm.. youknow.. poke at? Out of duty of course! Can anyone tell? Or this will be just a cop guy prancing around anything with tits except copchicks? I soo wanna know.

 

[Nikira]

Male protagonist with big gun.

 

[Forgeshield]

This is pretty rough at the moment. The options menu is in French, so the rough writing may be a translation thing, but the text is still not great. Not Russian-to-English bad that we get around these parts, but still.

So far, we kind of get a prologue that ends with our MC needing to see a therapist. We then get not much gameplay, but a good deal of repeating screens before the therapist needs our cock for a very quick scene.

Not too much to see. It's fine for a 0.1, but the writing is weak so far, and it looks like it may be grindy considering how many days you have to skip through before anything changes. We'll see.

 

[Ennoch]

The grindy part is non-encouraging but i'm gonna stick around to see where this will goes. I'm a sucker for policewomen so i hope our.. pillar-of-the-law will check out some.. Halls-of-Justices And thank for the quick summery Forgeshield.

 

[Forgeshield]

Yeah. It is possible the grind feel is just because there is nothing to do during the week. They may plan to add content during the week that will make it not seem like a grind as it currently does.

 

[PoisonJames]

Agreed. Why would we be grinding out a whole week without any choices? I struggled to see what "progression" was taking place, so it made the grind all the more boring.

I worked out 2 bad endings and reached the end of content, which I suppose is the good path.

 

[Ennoch]

Well, this sure feels like supergrindy. You actually have to pass six weeks day by day. The good news that it can be done faster than in other games, the bad news.. you actually have to do it. The UI is, to put it simply, minimalistic. You see a few numbers associated with things but you don't really have a clue about rates.

Language is plausible, you need to constantly ignore bad translation but its not so bad as those russan/japanese google translations can be. Its noticable that effort was taken to iron out its rough edges. Its still work-in-progress. I must say when i saw that "On the way to places!", i couldn't help but think how funny it could be if this would stay like this, like.. "Here is the police! Come out with your hands up or we gonna do things!"

The renders are, lets face it, poor. I'm not tech savvy but its seems to me too low resolution which keeps the whole thing at low size but kinda outdated as well. It has a sex scene but the camera is too far away, not what we are used to at any rate.

Story need some serious make-up, realism-fans should stay away. Six weeks passes by after father-in-law's death and mother-in-law doesn't visit once? Or the other way around? C'mon.. So this six-weeks skipping really feels like rushed, like he released the demo earlier he wanted to, should have done so. We spend like 2 whole weeks in bars but no scenes just seeing the skipping background and watching our alcoholic rate rising. I feel like this six weeks were planned to have more content just were left out in the end or simply wasn't finished and/or in a presentable state. The saving grace here is that actually the story makes sense, the thoughts/words/conversations of the mc makes sense. So thats promising.

 

[Eye-switcher]

So its a en erotic thriller ( a genre i thought was dead ) with the dad from that other game

 

[Ennoch]

Hopefull its gonna be a porn one But seems so, though i wouldn't get my hopes up about a gripping story. Me, i'd like to see this game to be developed further first and only, for now. With more content, less grindy, to see if the Dev is of the reliable sort and stuff.

 

[vonali]

Thanks...

 

[Zippity]

Well, this sure feels like supergrindy. You actually have to pass six weeks day by day. The good news that it can be done faster than in other games, the bad news.. you actually have to do it. The UI is, to put it simply, minimalistic. You see a few numbers associated with things but you don't really have a clue about rates.

Language is plausible, you need to constantly ignore bad translation but its not so bad as those russan/japanese google translations can be. Its noticable that effort was taken to iron out its rough edges. Its still work-in-progress. I must say when i saw that "On the way to places!", i couldn't help but think how funny it could be if this would stay like this, like.. "Here is the police! Come out with your hands up or we gonna do things!"

The renders are, lets face it, poor. I'm not tech savvy but its seems to me too low resolution which keeps the whole thing at low size but kinda outdated as well. It has a sex scene but the camera is too far away, not what we are used to at any rate.

Story need some serious make-up, realism-fans should stay away. Six weeks passes by after father-in-law's death and mother-in-law doesn't visit once? Or the other way around? C'mon.. So this six-weeks skipping really feels like rushed, like he released the demo earlier he wanted to, should have done so. We spend like 2 whole weeks in bars but no scenes just seeing the skipping background and watching our alcoholic rate rising. I feel like this six weeks were planned to have more content just were left out in the end or simply wasn't finished and/or in a presentable state. The saving grace here is that actually the story makes sense, the thoughts/words/conversations of the mc makes sense. So thats promising.

There is some short erotic content, if you keep doing the SUPER AMOUNTS OF MEANINGLESS GRIND, to get to it... I almost didn't even run into it, if it had not been for my curiosity of going through that, way too long grind mess, just to see if it ever went anywhere... Only when I noticed some clothing changes during yoga, did I even realize there was indeed perhaps more content beyond the introduction story...

There are a lot of flaws in this visual novel/game... Which I already went over some of them in my review... The story concept is unique and creative, but the execution of this VN/Game needs a lot of rework... Same with all the broken English... Now, this is a early in development game, so just realize that up front...

 

[Woolfie]

Thanks for all your feedback and especially the Zippity's review.

Some explanation about the game so far.
This version is only the introduction, in the next version, the true story will begin, I wanted to have a long introduction (which can be skipped) to introduced the main character.

I'm working on the version 0.2 and some mistakes I've made will be corrected :

• shorter introduction (4-5 weeks instead of 12)
• indication of mood level to guide the player in the choice he had to make
• the yoga session will occure after the therapist's session allow to skip the rest of the week and had some extra content (mom visit, drink scene ...)
• correction of grammar and spelling
• rework of some images to avoid grain texture.
• adding the first days of the story

 

[Zippity]

Thanks for all your feedback and especially the Zippity's review.

Some explanation about the game so far.
This version is only the introduction, in the next version, the true story will begin, I wanted to have a long introduction (which can be skipped) to introduced the main character.

I'm working on the version 0.2 and some mistakes I've made will be corrected :

• shorter introduction (4-5 weeks instead of 12)
• indication of mood level to guide the player in the choice he had to make
• the yoga session will occure after the therapist's session allow to skip the rest of the week and had some extra content (mom visit, drink scene ...)
• correction of grammar and spelling
• rework of some images to avoid grain texture.
• adding the first days of the story

If that grind mess is part of the introduction, then you may want to completely re-strategize on that... There is far too much meaningless, as in lacking story and/or something going on, grind just to see a few clothing changes and a quick jaunt in the whirlpool... It's just too full of wasted time... If there had been some other things going on, then it might of been less boring... To reduce it by only half, doesn't really help alieve the tedious nature of making choices that are just repeating nothingness to increase a stat... That whole string of repeated grind needs either more stuff occurring during it, or it needs to just go away in favor of some meaningful and fulfilling story... Even the minority of pure masturbators, who hate story entirely, would find the tedium of that grind, even if reduced 55%, boring and pointless...

As to the proofreading of the spelling/grammar, you also need someone to re-translate and/or re-interpret the English... The broken English makes it hard to read as well, not just the spelling and grammar mistakes... When the wrong English words are used and/or are also in the wrong order, and so on, then the meaning of what is intended to be said, gets lost and/or mixed up... This causes both confusion as well as loss of intended meaning...

 

[snarrff]

Am i missing something or is this just selecting what you do for each day lasting 12 weeks with no real content or story to it at all ?
Im really hope there is more to this then just that

 

[Ennoch]

Am i missing something or is this just selecting what you do for each day lasting 12 weeks with no real content or story to it at all ?
Im really hope there is more to this then just that

For now thats pretty much it. You can advance your relationship with the therapist to the next level which means a short lewd scenes in the pool during yoga sessions and thats it.

 

[Deadlyreaper]

that is really boring endless skipping and a super little mini bj in the hot tube that is after 3 sec to end
besides, the therapist has the wrong profession if she does not notice that her patient is getting drunk all week and what about the family of the colleague? which is the mc synonymous care or why do not you even look how he is doing ???

I'm afraid that will be a bad grind game with 3 eck sex moments ..... you could do so much of the story

 

[TheImage]

Updated to 0.2

 

[AGoodDay2Die]

Apparently the dev got rid of the grindy shit: I just tried this for the first time and it took less than 15 minutes to run to the end, and I didn't skip the intro.

Bad translation work. Can't really say if it's because of the bad translation that the story doesn't hold together well, if it's poor writing, or a combination of both. One thing here, that I see in a lot of games from devs who don't speak English as their first language, is the confusion over non-lineal family relationship terms. "Step-" relations are only created when one of your legal parents (blood or adopted) marries someone who isn't your legal parent. If your dad marries a woman who isn't your mother she becomes your stepmother. Any kids she has that were fathered by any man other than your father are your step-siblings. If she and your father have a child together, that child is your half-sibling. If they later divorce the "step" relationships end - she is no longer your "stepmother" and HER kids are no longer your "step-siblings", but your "half-sibling" is that for life. If both your parents die and someone takes you in they are your foster parent(s). Any children he, she, or they have become your foster siblings. If they adopt you, they are your parents and their kids are your siblings - no "step", "half", or "foster" involved, although using "adoptive" to prefix the relationship is OK, (adoptive parents, adoptive sister, etc.,) it isn't necessary and in most cases has no legal differentiation from blood relation. In this game the MC was "fostered", he has no "step-relations" of any kind. He refers to his foster parents as "Mom" and "Dad" without qualification in most instances, likely in large part to his age when they took him in. Since he was five years old at that time and is five years older than his foster-sister, that means her arrival into the family was roughly at the same time as his. It is very unlikely that either would ever refer to the other as anything but "brother" and "sister", without qualification unless there was a need for mentioning such technicality. Since they are not related by blood there can be no technical incest. Since they are also not related by adoption there can be no legally-defined incest. You should remove the "incest" tag.

Good luck! I'll probably check back in a few more versions to see where this goes.

 

[Woolfie]

Thanks for the explanation about family relationship.
I will modify this in the next version.

For the translation, sorry, but English is not my first langage. I don't use translator (as google) but I tried to find the right expression in English langage but sometimes it is not as simple as it seems.
For the tag "incest" it will make sens in a few release.