I'm inclined to agree with some of the comments here, the story is getting convoluted. Sophia has become a near-typical horny, VN MILF. The anal with her and Sam was a little too early for me as well along with the actions of Patricia. I don't get where Patricia is willing to tease Liam, hoping for sex but teasing Dylan and not following through? Especially since we get the sense that Patricia's horny as well. I don't get that it's okay to try to sleep with your brother-in-law but you tease your nephew, then stop when things get heated Because he's your nephew? That's inconsistent behavior if you're trying to make Patricia look like a nympho.
As far as the overall story, the title should be changed. It should be titled "Aiden's Retaliation". It's more suitable because, Sophia was the one who actually got revenge for Aiden putting her out like he did. This is about Aiden upping the stakes because he couldn't take the ass whipping and lesson that he was given. There's another fan-made story that's beginning to get out of hand as well because the storyteller is forgetting the original characters' development profiles that the game created. I get trying to get more sex in this story that the original never got around to but now, the sex seems forced, Especially because Sophia's situation has become so tenuous. To me, the original Sophia appeared more calculating, weighing her decisions based on Dylan's well being. With Dylan obviously in no danger in this story, and the original story had him learning martial arts, maybe you could bring this back into the story, where Dylan finds out what's going on with his mom. His responses and machinations would be interesting to see, particularly because we would get a chance to see what lengths Sophia and/or Patricia would go in showing gratitude.
I really like this story. It's more of a KN than a VN but the intrigue has me coming back. The Sophia renders need to be touched up a little because she looks a little bit hardened than in the original or other fan-made pieces. Beyond that, I'm satisfied with the other characters. These are my suggestions, but I will continue to follow what is a very good storyline.
As far as the overall story, the title should be changed. It should be titled "Aiden's Retaliation". It's more suitable because, Sophia was the one who actually got revenge for Aiden putting her out like he did. This is about Aiden upping the stakes because he couldn't take the ass whipping and lesson that he was given. There's another fan-made story that's beginning to get out of hand as well because the storyteller is forgetting the original characters' development profiles that the game created. I get trying to get more sex in this story that the original never got around to but now, the sex seems forced, Especially because Sophia's situation has become so tenuous. To me, the original Sophia appeared more calculating, weighing her decisions based on Dylan's well being. With Dylan obviously in no danger in this story, and the original story had him learning martial arts, maybe you could bring this back into the story, where Dylan finds out what's going on with his mom. His responses and machinations would be interesting to see, particularly because we would get a chance to see what lengths Sophia and/or Patricia would go in showing gratitude.
I really like this story. It's more of a KN than a VN but the intrigue has me coming back. The Sophia renders need to be touched up a little because she looks a little bit hardened than in the original or other fan-made pieces. Beyond that, I'm satisfied with the other characters. These are my suggestions, but I will continue to follow what is a very good storyline.
