A guide: How to develop the worst game you can possibly make

Fuchsschweif

Active Member
Sep 24, 2019
850
1,395
Hey everyone! Welcome to my super guide on how to get the most bang for your buck out of the games you're developing / want to develop in the near future. Let's get right to the guide, have fun!

Story
It's generally a good idea to kickstart your game with a lot of story. And I really mean A LOT. I want you to go all in! Make sure the player doesn't see any lewd scene within the first 4 hours of gameplay. It's really important that you introduce every single character and place in the game with very large texts before the actual game starts. We don't want our players to get lost in the world because we failed to introduce them properly, do we?

Gameplay
It would be best to avoid gameplay at all, just make people click through text all the time. But if you decide to add gameplay elements for whatever reason, here are some nice tips to spice things up:

1. Create puzzles that are so hard to solve that people spend approx 30-60 minutes to progress past that particular scene or even need to look up guides in the internet, it really makes what comes after feel more rewarding!

2. Don't ask yourself if your game really "needs" any feature. Just look how others did it - it worked for them, it must work for you too. Right? Right!

3. People love time-based game systems where they have to trigger many events not only on very specific days of the week, but also at different daytimes! If you go for this system, make sure you don't leave any hints so the player can feel really rewarded when he finally figures out, that he needs to meet mom on the 3rd saturday of a given month, between exactly 1:21 and 1:23 AM, after having rejected breakfast five days earlier, but only on fullmoon's and when the laundry is still undone. Make sure these events block further progress entirely, so that players don't accidentally miss out on them!

4. Add a way - no, several ways - to go game over, preferably without auto-save. Yes, it sucks if you just die and need to replay the last two hours, but that also makes dying in the game more frightening and surviving way more rewarding! In the end we all know, that people play adult games mainly because they're seeking souls-like challenges.

5. While we're talking about replay value.. how about you create the game in a fashion that one needs at minimum around 5-6 full playthroughs to see every scene? This way you can make sure your game is being played really a loooooot. Who doesn't love to hit the skip button for hours just to unlock that final other 4 scenes with a side-character?

6. Give the MC some opportunity to earn money. He could spend it on really important things like massage oil or outfits for his women. Make sure the job-minigames are boring as fuck, way too long and need to be done a shit ton of times in order to afford anything. Remember: You want your players to grind! Stay in the loop! Never be satisfied! There's no difference between your game and other games that actually require this due to their online-mmo nature.

7. People like to know what they're dealing with: Make sure that the sex scenes with every girl start in the same progression order. Preferably that's: Stripping, Handjob, Titjob, Blowjob, Pussy Sex, Anal Sex; done. Make the player go through this over and over again with every girl. Avoid being creative, thinking outside of the box, utilizing amazing places and positions - that just brings chaos to your game.

8. Make sure there's just plain sex, nothing else. Avoid little moments where characters touch accidentally and feel aroused by it, or where they're put into situations with close body contact and some accidental lewd action, that slowly builds up tension in a creative way. But if you do, make sure to kill it early enough so that it's just almost satisfying.


Animations

If you can, avoid animations - nobody wants animations. But if you aim to include them into your game, here are some first hand tips:

1. Make sure 90% of your animations are made from the same angle and sex position. Creativity is only allowed in still renders! You don't want your pictures to fall behind.

2. The fewer frames, the better. You should really go low-effort and destroy the immersion of every scene as much as possible when the animation finally starts. For instance your two characters could just move forth and back like wobbly jelly!

3. If you can, make the dick of the MC clip a little bit out of the pussy into the body of the girl.

4. Make sure you place important other parts in the scene: Like the big fat male feet of the MC, or his asshole when he takes her doggy - players love to have male feet and assholes in their faces while jerking off! It's just natural! Would be like this in reality too, and you totally aim for realism with your game, don't you? Yeah, thought so!

5. Now this one is a secret technique, but your players are going to love that: Make the main act animated, but when the MC finally cums, suddenly stop the animation. Surprise the player with a still image when the MC cums! People love surprises, surprises are fantastic!

6. Struggling with animating faces? Don't worry, I've got your back! Instead of spending a couple of days with tutorials and practicing, you could just save yourself some time and effort, by simply creating sex scenes where the player can't see the faces at all! Yes, 80% of your sex scenes will look absolutely exchangable because the player only sees a dick wobbling back and forth into another random body, but you found a solution by simply avoiding the issue itself - clever!


Patreon / Development

This one is the easiest part: You want to start full of energy and motivation so everyone invests into your product with good faith. Then, as you progress, you get slower and slower. Remember: Rich people don't work much, and so do you! The more you earn, the less work you should put into the project. You should really dance on the limits here, until people wonder if your game got abandoned, so that you can surprise them when you drop another update after a year that contains 5 new animations and 2 bugfixes! Again, surprises are the best way to shock your audience - they love it!

But the best parts are yet to come, here's a brief list:

1. First of all, bang your wife! Yes, you heard me right. Bang her, make a child quickly. Your newborn will the very best excuse for largely increasing update intervals. Because you need to take care of the baby and just live from air and love - just like in real life! Nobody will dare to criticize you for "taking care of your family", but if they do, your followers will take care of it.

2. If people start to suggest that you could spend some of the 100k you make a month off Patreon, don't react at all. Your patreons will take care of that and defend your game and development cycle as if their lives would be dependent on it! That's the best part of having a loyal audience.

3. Occasionally release some wallpapers, people love these. Write a "developer blog" every morning to create the illusion, that you're working hard - then take your day off. They would be understanding if they knew how hard it is to draw some 2D pictures every day for only 100k a month.

4. If you create an incest game, don't make the incest patch yourself - be lazy. Someone in a pirate forum will do that for you. It might mess up the whole dialogues, but at least you saved yourself from work. Again, you're only earning 100k a month, a lot of people wouldn't even wake up in the morning for that.

5. When you're at around 70% of finishing your game, start a new project. Yes, you heard me right! Just start a new game, people love to see that you're super engaged. Focus mainly on the new game as it makes more money and drop some updates for your other title occasionally every other quarter.



That's it for now my boys and girls! I might update this guide in the future to make sure your projects get real bangers. For now, print that out, frame it, place it over your bed an enrich us with your upcoming adult games!

Love you all xoxo
 
Last edited:

Living In A Lewd World

Active Member
Jan 15, 2021
598
551
Nice instruction :ROFLMAO:, but you definitely forgot the random generators:

3. People love a random number generator and time-based game system where you have to match specific days of the week - and not even days, times also to get something with a certain probability! If you go for this system, make sure you don't add any hints so the player can feel really rewarded when he finally figures out that he needs to meet mom on the 3rd saturday in a given month, between exactly 1:21 and 1:23 am after rejecting to have breakfast five days earlier, but only on fullmoon's and when the laundry is still undone with a probability of 1 in 100.
 
Last edited:
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May 3, 2018
92
183
You forgot the first part!

"Don't start on your game! Just TALK about starting it. Post endless polls on forums to get input from your future potential players. That's production work, right?"

"Be sure not to check if the same, nearly identical poll has been posted before. Those polls are for OTHER people's games. The results may not apply to YOUR game!"

"Be sure to be sarcastic and rude when people point out that the answers to the questions you are asking have all been answered every single week for the past decade.

"If you get lots of responses to your poll, be sure to ignore them and do what you wanted to do anyway! After all, you just made this poll to get validation for what you wanted to do already - who cares if no one picked the option you wanted to do! It's your game, what do these people know?"
 

Deleted member 5954819

Beyond Tomorrow
Game Developer
Mar 31, 2023
81
215
Hey everyone! Welcome to my super guide on how to get the most bang for your buck out of the games you're developing / want to develop in the near future. Let's get right to the guide, have fun!

Story
It's generally a good idea to kickstart your game with a lot of story. And I really mean A LOT. I want yo to go all in! Make sure the player doesn't see any lewd scene within the first 4 hours of gameplay. It's really important that you introduce every single character and place in the game with very large texts before the actual game starts. We don't want our players to get lost in the world because we failed to introduce them properly, do we?

Gameplay
It would be best to avoid gameplay at all, just make people click through text all the time. But if you decide to add gameplay elements for whatever reason, here are some nice tips to spice things up:

1. Create puzzles that are so hard to solve that people spend approx 30-60 minutes to progress past that particular scene or even need to look up guides in the internet, it really makes what comes after feel more rewarding!

2. Don't ask yourself if your game really "needs" any feature. Just look how others did it - it worked for them, it must work for you too. Right? Right!

3. People love time-based game systems where they have to trigger many events not only on very specific days of the week, but also at different daytimes! If you go for this system, make sure you don't leave any hints so the player can feel really rewarded when he finally figures out, that he needs to meet mom on the 3rd saturday of a given month, between exactly 1:21 and 1:23 AM, after having rejected breakfast five days earlier, but only on fullmoon's and when the laundry is still undone. Make sure these events block further progress entirely, so that players don't accidentally miss out on them!

4. Add a way - no, several ways - to go game over, preferably without auto-save. Yes, it sucks if you just die and need to replay the last two hours, but that also makes dying in the game more frightening and surviving way more rewarding! In the end we all know, that people play adult games mainly because they're seeking souls-like challenges.

5. While we're talking about replay value.. how about you create the game in a fashion that one needs at minimum around 5-6 full playthroughs to see every scene? This way you can make sure your game is being played really a loooooot. Who doesn't love to hit the skip button for hours just to unlock that final other 4 scenes with a side-character?

6. Give the MC some opportunity to earn money. He could spend it on really important things like massage oil or outfits for his women. Make sure the job-minigames are boring as fuck, way too long and need to be done a shit ton of times in order to afford anything. Remember: You want your players to grind! Stay in the loop! Never be satisfied! There's no difference between your game and other games that actually require this due to their online-mmo nature.

7. People like to know what they're dealing with: Make sure that the sex scenes with every girl start in the same progression order. Preferably that's: Stripping, Blowjob, Handjob, Titjob, Pussy Sex, Anal Sex; done. Make the player go through this over and over again with every girl. Avoid being creative, thinking outside of the box, utilizing amazing places and positions - that just brings chaos to your game.

8. Make sure there's just plain sex, nothing else. Avoid little moments where characters touch accidentally and feel aroused by it, or where they're put into situations that slowly build up tension in a creative way. But if you do, make sure to kill it early enough so that it's just almost satisfying.


Animations

If you can, avoid animations - nobody wants animations. But if you aim to include them into your game, here are some first hand tips:

1. Make sure 90% of your animations are made from the same angle and sex position. Creativity is only allowed in still renders! You don't want your pictures to fall behind.

2. The fewer frames, the better. You should really go low-effort and destroy the immersion of every scene as much as possible when the animation finally starts. For instance your two characters could just move forth and back like wobbly jelly!

3. If you can, make the dick of the MC clip a little bit out of the pussy into the body of the girl.

4. Make sure you place important other parts in the scene: Like the big fat male feet of the MC, or his asshole when he takes her doggy - players love to have male feet and assholes in their faces while jerking off! It's just natural! Would be like this in reality too, and you totally aim for realism with your game, don't you? Yeah, thought so!

5. Now this one is a secret technique, but your players are going to love that: Make the main act animated, but when the MC finally cums, suddenly stop the animation. Surprise the player with a still image when the MC cums! People love surprises, surprises are fantastic!



Patreon / Development

This one is the easiest part: You want to start full of energy and motivation so everyone invests into your product with good faith. Then, as you progress, you get slower and slower. Remember: Rich people don't work much, and so do you! The more you earn, the less work you should put into the project. You should really dance on the limits here, until people wonder if your game got abandoned, so that you can surprise them when you drop another update after a year that contains 5 new animations and 2 bugfixes! Again, surprises are the best way to shock your audience - they love it!

But the past parts are yet to come, here's a brief list:

1. First of all, bang your wife! Yes, you heard me right. Bang her, make a child quickly. Your newborn will the very best excuse for largely increasing update intervals. Because you need to take care of the baby and just live from air and love - just like in real life! Nobody will dare to criticize you for "taking care of your family", but if they do, your followers will take care of it.

2. If people start to suggest that you could spend some of the 100k you make a month off Patreon, don't react at all. Your patreons will take care of that and defend your game and development cycle as if their lives would be dependent on it! That's the best part of having a loyal audience.

3. Occasionally release some wallpapers, people love these. Write a "developer blog" every morning to create the illusion, that you're working hard - then take your day off. They would be understanding if they knew how hard it is to draw some 2D pictures every day for only 100k a month.

4. If you create an incest game, don't make the incest patch yourself - be lazy. Someone in a pirate forum will do that for you. It might mess up the whole dialogues, but at least you saved yourself from work. Again, you're only earning 100k a month, a lot of people wouldn't even wake up in the morning for that.

5. When you're at around 70% of finishing your game, start a new project. Yes, you heard me right! Just start a new game, people love to see that you're super engaged. Focus mainly on the new game as it makes more money and drop some updates for your other title occasionally every other quarter.



That's it for now my boys and girls! I might update this guide in the future to make sure your projects get real bangers. For now, print that out, frame it, place it over your bed an enrich us with your upcoming adult games!

Love you all xoxo
If you think this is a key to success, why don't you have a developer tag and at least two of the most successful and best-selling games on your account?

You know... I just wonder, if this is the right thing to do, why are you sharing it and not using it for your own success?
→ → That's probably because it's a bunch of shit and you don't even believe what you wrote :KEK:
 

HarveyD

Member
Oct 15, 2017
485
751
If you think this is a key to success, why don't you have a developer tag and at least two of the most successful and best-selling games on your account?

You know... I just wonder, if this is the right thing to do, why are you sharing it and not using it for your own success?
→ → That's probably because it's a bunch of shit and you don't even believe what you wrote :KEK:
I'm shocked someone managed to miss so much sarcasm. Also, the title is "How to develop the WORST game you can possibly make."
 

Deleted member 5954819

Beyond Tomorrow
Game Developer
Mar 31, 2023
81
215
I'm shocked someone managed to miss so much sarcasm. Also, the title is "How to develop the WORST game you can possibly make."
I think I understood his "sarcasm" quite correctly. Basically, if you do the opposite of everything he wrote, you should have a good game. Are you telling me that you agree with that? :LOL:

Edit: It is possible that I took it too seriously and did not understand it, perhaps completely correctly. After posts from users like "hakrlman" and others like him, it is really difficult to find out who is serious about what and who is not. Unfortunately
 
Last edited:

Deleted member 5954819

Beyond Tomorrow
Game Developer
Mar 31, 2023
81
215
Who said the absolute opposite is the way to go? That's your assumption :p
There's a lot of room between two extremes.
Well, if you consider "long story", "lack of lewd scenes" or "long text" as the ways to make the worst game, then the correct way is probably "short story", "lots of lewd scenes" and "short text". How can this be considered my assumption when this is exactly what you wrote? And don't say that I'm not right, because the same thing you wrote in this thread, you wrote to the developers in the comments under their games on this forum. So I think you know very well what the intention of this post was; you're just trying to turn it around :ROFLMAO:
 

Rafster

Bear chaser
Game Developer
Mar 23, 2019
2,006
3,922
4. Add a way - no, several ways - to go game over, preferably without auto-save. Yes, it sucks if you just die and need to replay the last two hours, but that also makes dying in the game more frightening and surviving way more rewarding! In the end we all know, that people play adult games mainly because they're seeking souls-like challenges.
Fucking guilty as charged. My game is easy, too easy, is harder to lose than win. But sometimes, there are parts of the game filled with game over chances. I couldn't help it :devilish:
 
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Fuchsschweif

Active Member
Sep 24, 2019
850
1,395
Well, if you consider "long story", "lack of lewd scenes" or "long text" as the ways to make the worst game, then the correct way is probably "short story", "lots of lewd scenes" and "short text". How can this be considered my assumption when this is exactly what you wrote?
If "long story" is 10/10 on a scale up to 10, then you still got the opportunities to use 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 or 9. Same goes for the amount and intensity of lewd scenes or amounts of texts.

But what you're saying instead is: "So if 10/10 is wrong, then 1/10 must be right". Only because someone points out that 10 beers will cause damage, it doesn't mean you can't enjoy 1-2 beers without any harm.
 
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Fuchsschweif

Active Member
Sep 24, 2019
850
1,395
Fucking guilty as charged. My game is easy, too easy, is harder to lose than win. But sometimes, there are parts of the game filled with game over chances. I couldn't help it :devilish:
I currently play a game that has game over's too, but it's one of these where I can just scroll back and make another decision - that's fine, although it defeats the idea of being able to go game over a bit in the first place.

But if I didn't save for an hour because the game really sucked me in and I go game over, without any way to preserve my progress.. well, that sometimes led to me just skipping the game entirely, because I didn't feel motivated to play through the same whole hour again. Especially not if there's such a flood of other great lewd games I am curios about and that I could start instead.

For some games that I really loved I was willing to replay if I lost my progress due to any circumstance (must not be a game over, can also just be the abscence of autosaves. I once accidentally overwrote my main save file and had to start from an earlier point). But I think it's good practice to prevent situations where one could possibly lose their audience due to frustrating mechanics.

In the end, there are a lot of other creative ways to "punish" failure at some specific stages of the game, without the risk of discouraging the player completely.
 
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Sep 3, 2017
43
322

Warthief

Member
Game Developer
Sep 11, 2020
197
105
Thank you for the tips, my game is bad but I don't think managed to make my game the worst porn game, at least not yet.
 
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