To women on this site

[M.Ed]

Hey,

I am a vivid user of F95. And I like to go for games where females are subjected to humiliation en degradation. I am a sensitive, polite person IRL, and treat women with respect. And because of that I feel there is a huge gap between what turns me on and what real women are to me.

To all women on F95: What is your take on this? Can you be feminist, in favor of women rights and still get a hard on for feminine total submission?

Thanks

 

[shelly_seafunk]

A little late to the party but since nobody else has shown up, here I am

My take on this is: There's a place for everything in life. I'd consider myself a feminist in everyday life, I make my own decisions, I don't like being talked down to, I want to be treated as an equal when among friends, family, coworkers, and so on. However, deep inside I'm super submissive. And, to be honest, not only in the bedroom, if the right guy gives me that look in the train or whatever, my senses are tickled. I'm a total sucker for female submission in porn and games too, but it works so much better for me when it's shown from the female perspective.

So, I have both in me. Feminist and submissive.

 

[VegitoHlove]

Hey,

I am a vivid user of F95. And I like to go for games where females are subjected to humiliation en degradation. I am a sensitive, polite person IRL, and treat women with respect. And because of that I feel there is a huge gap between what turns me on and what real women are to me.

To all women on F95: What is your take on this? Can you be feminist, in favor of women rights and still get a hard on for feminine total submission?

Thanks

If you have to go on a pirate porn-game site and tell people you totally treat woman with respect, then I doubt the validity of that claim. This is a nonsense post. The question is stupid. Like what you like that's it. Real life and fantasy are two different things. Why do people never go on like this when they play violent video games? Where is the "I play violent video games where I kill innocent people for fun, can I still be a good person?" Same stupid question no one fucking asks.

 

[TurtleGiroflex]

If you have to go on a pirate porn-game site and tell people you totally treat woman with respect, then I doubt the validity of that claim. This is a nonsense post. The question is stupid. Like what you like that's it. Real life and fantasy are two different things. Why do people never go on like this when they play violent video games? Where is the "I play violent video games where I kill innocent people for fun, can I still be a good person?" Same stupid question no one fucking asks.

I don't feel like the question was pointless, actually i think its quite interesting but sadly got only one answer related to the post and months later.

Where is the "I play violent video games where I kill innocent people for fun, can I still be a good person?"

Actually i saw that happening a couple of times even in non-porn games, and well, its the whole dynamic of our century trying to justify behaviors. I could go on with a couple of psychology theories on why i think that happens and why its related to the internet.. but well, let's just summarize and say that people do that as a reminder of: "Hey, i like this just in fantasy. Im a actual human being just like you".
I think its one of the consequences of the internet, the fact that sometimes you have to remind people that there's actually a person behind a chunk of text in order to invoke some empathy on the readers.

 

[shelly_seafunk]

Actually i saw that happening a couple of times even in non-porn games, and well, its the whole dynamic of our century trying to justify behaviors. I could go on with a couple of psychology theories on why i think that happens and why its related to the internet.. but well, let's just summarize and say that people do that as a reminder of: "Hey, i like this just in fantasy. Im a actual human being just like you".
I think its one of the consequences of the internet, the fact that sometimes you have to remind people that there's actually a person behind a chunk of text in order to invoke some empathy on the readers.

Really well put. I can totally get behind that.

 

[M.Ed]

Thanks for the replies. I kinda forgot about this post long ago.

Let me clarify my dilemma...There are some great ethical minds that state that not only your actions (IRL) determine whether you are a good person, but your intentions, fantasies, and inner motives as well. I think it was Kant who stated that if you think of committing a crime, you already are partly criminal.

Now most of today's people will agree to the common sense that we all derive from primates, we have an animal nature, and a dark side. And indeed, what you all seem to agree to: what matters are your actions, not your fantasies.

And I also play violent videogames, and accordingly wrestle with agression, feelings of revenge and rage. None which I act upon. But the two combined: sadistic fantasies and inner urges to force my will upon others, kinda make that I cannot believe myself to be a *good* human being, a noble soul, a purehearted, well meaning member of society.

I am all in for equality, fairness, freedom, peace, respect. But a voice inside me says: Not when it comes to cumming, you bastard I mildly find myself to be a hypocrite.

 

[VegitoHlove]

Thanks for the replies. I kinda forgot about this post long ago.

Let me clarify my dilemma...There are some great ethical minds that state that not only your actions (IRL) determine whether you are a good person, but your intentions, fantasies, and inner motives as well. I think it was Kant who stated that if you think of committing a crime, you already are partly criminal.

Now most of today's people will agree to the common sense that we all derive from primates, we have an animal nature, and a dark side. And indeed, what you all seem to agree to: what matters are your actions, not your fantasies.

And I also play violent videogames, and accordingly wrestle with agression, feelings of revenge and rage. None which I act upon. But the two combined: sadistic fantasies and inner urges to force my will upon others, kinda make that I cannot believe myself to be a *good* human being, a noble soul, a purehearted, well meaning member of society.

I am all in for equality, fairness, freedom, peace, respect. But a voice inside me says: Not when it comes to cumming, you bastard I mildly find myself to be a hypocrite.

This sounds like it's specific to you. I don't have the dealing with the aggression or rage issues and most people seem not to. I have a very clear separation of fantasy, also I must say just because there is a famous quote by some guy, doesn't make true or even sensical. If YOU can not believe yourself to be a good person, that is on YOU. not anyone or anything else.

You are applying guilt to a situation which calls for none. You like sex games, You like Doom, You like GTA. That's it. You're (I'd assume) not running around stabbing people to death and raping others. So this is an issue unto yourself.

 

[shelly_seafunk]

I think he, who treats women with respect in RL and is turned on by degrading women in fantasy or games, was just wondering if women experience similar dilemmas. As this is probably not a typical topic to discuss with (female) friends, I think it's a justified question.

 

[M.Ed]

To be a bit personal: I was raised by a very feminist mother who cried Rape! if any female nudity was seen on TV, and the social groups I belonged to tended to view porn as degrading and humiliating for women. So yea, Shelly is right: I was curious how women feel about them being portrayed as completely helpless, as submissive beings, as total sex objects, dehumanized, and meant to serve the lust of men. I assumed women would take offence (given my background) and find it a dangerous or at least unsafe way to depict women, and it is refreshing to see female reactions that differ from this.

 

[shelly_seafunk]

Thank you for the insight in your personal situation, that makes your question even more understandable to me! To be fair: A lot of women from my social groups are very critical about the depiction of women in porn and the feminist in me perfectly understands why.

Still, as you said, we all have our dark sides and when that side of me takes over (which it does, um, quite regularly) that questionable depiction gets much more agreeable to me.

 

[M.Ed]

Must be hard, to be taken over so often by your dark desires

 

[anne O'nymous]

I could go on with a couple of psychology theories on why i think that happens and why its related to the internet..

And you would looks like an idiot to the eyes of whoever live through the world before internet.

I think its one of the consequences of the internet, the fact that sometimes you have to remind people that there's actually a person behind a chunk of text in order to invoke some empathy on the readers.

What the fuck is this ?

Oh, of course, there's people on internet who clearly act as if they don't acknowledge that they are interacting with human beings. But it's them who have issues, that also reflect IRL. At no time is it at you to remind them that you are a human being, nor will this reminder effectively change something to their behavior.


Anyway you missed his point.

He wasn't talking about the fact that you claim to be human and have a human behavior, but about the fact that you are implicitly questioning the reality of your behavior.
A simple, "but this is just a fantasy" would have been enough. But no, you felt the need to explain what you behavior is ; as if the readers wouldn't be aware of what a "good behavior" is...

And, as he said, it's something that you don't see people playing violent games do. They limits to "but well it's just a game", and only when it is relevant to specify it.

 

[shelly_seafunk]

Must be hard, to be taken over so often by your dark desires

Oh god yes, it's a nightmare

 

[whippetmaster]

I'll add to this: I've been in a few relationships in the past with ladies who had wildly differing personalities and upbringings. Anywhere from a bdsm-curious lady with a horrible past and a very sexually conservative lady who had an almost charmed life. We don't know what they'll end up being comfortable with despite their history so you can't paint the ladies with a broad brush. One lady was even a switch and she had a similar upbringing to me (which was refreshing, btw). One thing I will tell you is what I tell any male who asks: There's nothing better than being honest and actually listening to what's being said and even then, don't be afraid to ask questions in a respectful manner.

 

[shelly_seafunk]

There's nothing better than being honest and actually listening to what's being said and even then, don't be afraid to ask questions in a respectful manner.

This.

 

[TurtleGiroflex]

And you would looks like an idiot to the eyes of whoever live through the world before internet.




What the fuck is this ?

Oh, of course, there's people on internet who clearly act as if they don't acknowledge that they are interacting with human beings. But it's them who have issues, that also reflect IRL. At no time is it at you to remind them that you are a human being, nor will this reminder effectively change something to their behavior.


Anyway you missed his point.

He wasn't talking about the fact that you claim to be human and have a human behavior, but about the fact that you are implicitly questioning the reality of your behavior.
A simple, "but this is just a fantasy" would have been enough. But no, you felt the need to explain what you behavior is ; as if the readers wouldn't be aware of what a "good behavior" is...

And, as he said, it's something that you don't see people playing violent games do. They limits to "but well it's just a game", and only when it is relevant to specify it.

I don't really see it as questioning your own behavior, for me is more like repeating the obvious and the common sense since people usually forget it nowdays. I don't find it nearly as harmful or revolting as you either, to act that way i mean.
Of course it would be wholesome if you could skip even the "Hey, its fantasy" thing, but people are way more on the edge nowdays and the explanation usually aims to avoid some kind of comments i believe. Its almost like people are doing a FAQ when talking to some delicate subjects.
It is a trending behavior nowdays and despite you afirming that its uncommon from people who play violent games i strongly disagree since i saw multiple times this same behavior comming from those people. What happens actually is that people who play really gore and violent games tends to hide the fact other than discussing it.

Hell, ins't a thing to violent games to have a warning at the start of the game? "Hey, its a game, its fantasy, everyone is 18+ blablabla". People started to do that to while starting some kind of topic, just that.

But hey brother, i got your point, you just think its BS and revolting having to explain the obvious. I really get it. Still, im trying to reason why this happens, not here to judge if either its right or wrong.

And you would looks like an idiot to the eyes of whoever live through the world before internet.

Anyway, those who fear to look like idiots never went anywhere. So, i prefer to spoke what i think and deal with being just a idiot than pretending to be cool and live in the shadow of "what could've it been" thought.
Just summarized because, well, im lazy bro. It would bring questions to be answered, text to be written.. Nothing that i actually want.

So, now that i'm gonna go back to Monster Black Market which is a really good management game, despite being somewhat degrading game to women. But hey, its just fantasy eh.

 

[M.Ed]

Oh god yes, it's a nightmare

I tend to sympathize with the hardships of your strong desires. But given the nature of those I probably should indulge them by saying something as: You weak woman (insert: more demeaning terms), completely unable to assert self control, being governed by the lowest basic instincts! It is only right that you know your place and know what is expected of you!

 

[M.Ed]

But maybe that is what this is all about: crossing the border between IRL and fantasy, who knows?

 

[M.Ed]

I'll add to this: I've been in a few relationships in the past with ladies who had wildly differing personalities and upbringings. Anywhere from a bdsm-curious lady with a horrible past and a very sexually conservative lady who had an almost charmed life. We don't know what they'll end up being comfortable with despite their history so you can't paint the ladies with a broad brush. One lady was even a switch and she had a similar upbringing to me (which was refreshing, btw). One thing I will tell you is what I tell any male who asks: There's nothing better than being honest and actually listening to what's being said and even then, don't be afraid to ask questions in a respectful manner.

That is probably the most realistic and intelligent view: Womanhood is a fiction, Manhood is a fiction. There are billions of different individuals, a lot who are much akin to eachother, but every kink, extreme, deviation is there. For every woman that takes offense at even advertising with nudity there is someone who likes to be dominated. For everyone with very high libido there is someone without. For every ultra romantic night there are hard or extreme acts. And yes, in public you have to adress all those differences, and be respectful for every ice cream flavor there is or might be. It is up to two people to determine their specific chemistry.

I am far from a player in love, but I also encountered all kind of variations in the ice cream flavor that women desire. I met women that liked to be dominated (a bit), and loved it rough, and to my shame I have to admit that this site gives me room to be someone I am not in real life: Alpha male dominant, a brute, a conqueror, a sadist. IRL it went more like: Dear honey, are those handcuffs comfortable, am I gentle enough? Do you like it this way or maybe that way? Dear slave, are you enjoying yourself?

Hahahaha

In fantasy you can be the person you are not

 

[shelly_seafunk]

ou weak woman (insert: more demeaning terms), completely unable to assert self control, being governed by the lowest basic instincts! It is only right that you know your place and know what is expected of you!

Haha, yeah, that hit way harder (in a good way) than you probably intended! I didn't expect to enjoy posting here that much!